Sorry to intrude, just want some advice

LuluBee · Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:10 AM

Hello Everyone,

I'm really sorry if this isn't the appropriate place to post this, but I was wondering if oyu could give me some advice? One of my closest friends had a miscarriage on the 8th July last year. We found it quite difficult because I was pregnant at the same time (only a week ahead of her). But we talked things out and she said that what upset her the most over the next few months was the fact that people just seemed to forget that she had suffered had real tragedy. She is pregnant again now and expecting a baby in August.

I would like her to know on the 8th that I do remember and am thinking of her on what will I'm sure be a tough day for her - but I'm not sure whether she would rather not be reminded of it now? I was just wondering if any of you could give me advice on what I should do?

Thank you so much, and sorry to intrude on your forum xx

orange-sox · Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:15 AM

Perhaps send her a bunch of flowers, or a little card to let her know that you're thinking of her and her angel...

I know you said you don't want to remind her, but when you lose a baby, no matter how far along you are, you never ever forget that pain... to have a friend like you who remembers is an amazing thing, and you'll be surprised at how much she'll appreciate your support.

Ravenmist · Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:25 AM

i think she is lucky to have a friend like you who remembers just how much her baby meant to her. how about sending her a card or a candle or a helium filled balloon for her to let fly

AlwaysPraying · Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:50 AM

Wow, I think that's beautiful that you are so caring. I wish I had a friend like you. If that was me I'd just like if you said just what you said in your post, "I realize today is your anniversary day and I wanted you to know I was thinking about you". It's really hard to tell if she will want to talk about it or not, but I do know that if you bring it up she will most likely love the fact that you remembered and were thinking of her. I'd say this is one of those - let her take the lead - situations. Ask if she wants to talk about it and leave it at that.

Tasha · Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:53 AM

That is so lovely hun, like the others said a thinking of you card will mean so much to her.

Sambatiki · Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:55 AM

What a wonderful kind and considerate friend you are!

I agree with the ladies.... I think I speak for most of the ladies that have angels when I say, that its upsetting that people forget our babies.... They'll always be in our hearts.

borntobeamum · Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:58 AM

Just wanted to agree with the girls above, for a friend, or anyone to remember that you lost your baby means the world, to know you are in there thoughts and that it means something to you as well.

She has a great friend in you, it will mean the world to her im sure, that you remember and feel for her.

XXX

lauraperrysan · Jul 3rd, 2009, 11:25 AM

I second all the above, what a great friend you are. A thinking of you card would be perfect. Thats so lovely of you to be so thoughtful and show you really do care x

LuluBee · Jul 3rd, 2009, 15:28 PM

Thank you for the advice ladies and for the really lovely messages. I just know how painful she found the (and I'm sure still finds) the whole experience and want to let her know that I still care and remember and will always be there. I like your idea of a thinking of you card.

Thanks again for taking the time to reply and I hope you all get what you wish for soon

Rumpskin · Jul 3rd, 2009, 16:49 PM

You are so lovely

A big hug would mean so much - you do not need to spend any money on presents or a card.

Just mention that you remembered that it was a special day xxx

Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:10 AM	#1
LuluBee Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Bromsgrove Posts: 2,053	Sorry to intrude, just want some advice Hello Everyone, I'm really sorry if this isn't the appropriate place to post this, but I was wondering if oyu could give me some advice? One of my closest friends had a miscarriage on the 8th July last year. We found it quite difficult because I was pregnant at the same time (only a week ahead of her). But we talked things out and she said that what upset her the most over the next few months was the fact that people just seemed to forget that she had suffered had real tragedy. She is pregnant again now and expecting a baby in August. I would like her to know on the 8th that I do remember and am thinking of her on what will I'm sure be a tough day for her - but I'm not sure whether she would rather not be reminded of it now? I was just wondering if any of you could give me advice on what I should do? Thank you so much, and sorry to intrude on your forum xx

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:15 AM	#2
orange-sox Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 2,442	Perhaps send her a bunch of flowers, or a little card to let her know that you're thinking of her and her angel... I know you said you don't want to remind her, but when you lose a baby, no matter how far along you are, you never ever forget that pain... to have a friend like you who remembers is an amazing thing, and you'll be surprised at how much she'll appreciate your support.

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:25 AM	#3
Ravenmist Trying to conceive (TTC) Active BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Northants Posts: 20	i think she is lucky to have a friend like you who remembers just how much her baby meant to her. how about sending her a card or a candle or a helium filled balloon for her to let fly

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:50 AM	#4
AlwaysPraying Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: May 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 2,836	Wow, I think that's beautiful that you are so caring. I wish I had a friend like you. If that was me I'd just like if you said just what you said in your post, "I realize today is your anniversary day and I wanted you to know I was thinking about you". It's really hard to tell if she will want to talk about it or not, but I do know that if you bring it up she will most likely love the fact that you remembered and were thinking of her. I'd say this is one of those - let her take the lead - situations. Ask if she wants to talk about it and leave it at that.

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:53 AM	#5
Tasha Other BnB Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 13,789	That is so lovely hun, like the others said a thinking of you card will mean so much to her.
Tasha Other BnB Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 13,789
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Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:55 AM	#6
Sambatiki Trying to conceive (TTC) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Warwickshire/oxfordshire border Posts: 31,089	What a wonderful kind and considerate friend you are! I agree with the ladies.... I think I speak for most of the ladies that have angels when I say, that its upsetting that people forget our babies.... They'll always be in our hearts.

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:58 AM	#7
borntobeamum Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Glasgow Posts: 489	Just wanted to agree with the girls above, for a friend, or anyone to remember that you lost your baby means the world, to know you are in there thoughts and that it means something to you as well. She has a great friend in you, it will mean the world to her im sure, that you remember and feel for her. XXX

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 11:25 AM	#8
lauraperrysan Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Dorset Posts: 1,882	I second all the above, what a great friend you are. A thinking of you card would be perfect. Thats so lovely of you to be so thoughtful and show you really do care x

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 15:28 PM	#9
LuluBee Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Bromsgrove Posts: 2,053	Thank you for the advice ladies and for the really lovely messages. I just know how painful she found the (and I'm sure still finds) the whole experience and want to let her know that I still care and remember and will always be there. I like your idea of a thinking of you card. Thanks again for taking the time to reply and I hope you all get what you wish for soon

Status: Offline

Jul 3rd, 2009, 16:49 PM	#10
Rumpskin Other BnB Addict Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 7,261	You are so lovely A big hug would mean so much - you do not need to spend any money on presents or a card. Just mention that you remembered that it was a special day xxx

Status: Offline

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