sorry for the ramble girls need to get it out.

its been 4 weeks since i lost jessica and i havent been sleeping to well since i lost her and was hoping that once i got her results i could put closure on this and try and pick upt he broken pieces of my life.

well i thought i would ring my consultant just to see if they were any closer to getting jessicas results. spoke to her secetary and she said that my consultant has looked at my notes and will be sending an app out but they dont see you until 6-8 weeks after the event (how nice to put it jessica was just an "event") so though fair enough was worth a try.

she then proceeded to tell me that the postmortem results may take up to 4-6 months to come through depending on what they find! i was told in the hospital it would only take 6-8 weeks no one mentioned it might take longer! and as her postmortem was done quite quickly (her body was released just over a week after i had her) i thought they probably would have found something.

so now my heart is breaking all over again just as i was starting to feel a bit better i'm back to square one.i really dont think i can handle waiting that long. im a complete mess already god know how i'm going to be in a few months time if they dont come through.

on top of that i know that df wont agree to ttc til we get the postmortem results and that too is breaking my heart. i was really hoping we could start ttc this year preferably before jessicas due date so i had something positive to focus on and now all that hope has gone. i really cant bear to wait 4-6 months to start trying again its too long i'm worried i'll start resenting df as right now hes the only person who can help ease that pain a bit by agreeing to ttc and i know if i have to wait that long i dont think our relationship will cope as i will push him away and start to resent him.

oh its all such a big mess! why did she have to go and leave me so unhappy. i just want that happiness back and i'm not going to get it any time soon.

coming your way sweetie I am so sorry

hun........x

Babes, sorry to hear this. They sound like they are not taking this as seriously as they really should be doing (in my opinion).

Have you got support from any other organisations?

Huge to you xx

oh sweetie

If you ever need to talk you know where i am poppet xxd

thanks ladies. i see my doc in an hour to disscuss iron level results and if its the one i saw last time hes as much help as a bag of spuds! if its one of the lady doctors i see i will mention it to them and see if they can get anywhere. the secetary didnt seem to want to take the time of day to understand how much its upsetting me! x

Oh babytots, I am sorry hun

Hiya honey

I just wanted so send you some hugs at this difficult time for you.

Also, when I lost my little boy last year, we did get an appointment to see the consultant at 6 weeks after I delivered him and we were given initial post mortem results which bascially confirmed what had first been suspected on scans etc.

But 7 (yes 7) months later we got a "Follow up" call from the hospital saying the final results were in!!!!!! I had no idea this would happen at all and had been starting to rebuild my life. This call out of the blue, just before Christmas, was a kick in the teeth.

Anyway, I made a right fuss and asked what kind of idiots where they that it took them 7 months to work out what was wroing with my baby, and was told by the genetics people in London that its quiet common, depending on what your baby's diagnosis was.

Because ours was a syndrome, they send different specimins to be sampled in different labs. Ours had gone to Oxford and by the time cultures had been developed, paperwork completed etc it had taken all that time.

I just wanted to mention this, not to scare you, but just to let you know that it can happenk, but that she was your baby and you have absolutely have every right to get the answers as soon as they are available to you.

I'm sure that in most cases they can give you the results at the 6 week appointment. We were just unlucky as our baby had some stupid stupid very rare syndrome that involved lots of stupid research (I'm a bit bitter about it all, can you tell!!)

Anyway, I wish you lots of luck - and ask the consultant when you see him if they are giving you a final diagnosis or if it is an interim one.

Laura xx

thanks for your reply soulsister. even if i get the initial postmortem results i'd be happy with that just need an answer as to why.i'm sorry they treated you that way.

didnt even ask my doctor when i went as it was the useless one i mentioned. levels were ok but could of been better so hes given me tablets and i asked him if he could prescribe me the higher dose folic acid so at least i'm doing something pro-active til i get the results. at first he kinda refused and i had to really fight to get my point across but he eventually agreed and reluctantly prescribed me some. bloddy doctors i hate them so unsympathetic especially the male ones. i didnt even get a how are you?or a how are you coping? from him. after that i darent ask to see if he could find out whats going on with jessicas results wanted to ask him to refer me for recurrent misscarriage tests too but again i darent because of how rude and uncaring he was.

grrr! x