I couldn't believe she said it

Jenismyworld4 · Aug 6th, 2009, 11:08 AM

Me and partner have recently suffered our 2nd mc in four months. I didnt know what to say the 1st time round and it wasnt any easier the 2nd time round!. Our friends and family have been as supportive as they can be but it doesnt stop me feeling low. I can imagine what my partner is going through. I pray that there is something I can do but I am trying to be there for her as much as I can. I guess there is nothing anyone can say or do to make things better instantly.

Jody R · Aug 6th, 2009, 13:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenismyworld4

Me and partner have recently suffered our 2nd mc in four months. I didnt know what to say the 1st time round and it wasnt any easier the 2nd time round!. Our friends and family have been as supportive as they can be but it doesnt stop me feeling low. I can imagine what my partner is going through. I pray that there is something I can do but I am trying to be there for her as much as I can. I guess there is nothing anyone can say or do to make things better instantly.

I'm sure you are doing it already but just lots of hugs and telling her you love her. That's all me and my dh could do for each other at first and a lot of holding each other while we cried and taking each day gently. And understanding each other when it all got too much and one of us snapped at the other.

It's not easy and nothing does make it better but being there for each other is the most important thing.

Jenismyworld4 · Aug 7th, 2009, 07:49 AM

i just realised i had a typo in my last message i was supposed to say that i cant imagine wha my partner is going through.

Mrs Doddy · Aug 9th, 2009, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenismyworld4

i just realised i had a typo in my last message i was supposed to say that i cant imagine wha my partner is going through.

Being there for her no matter what she is feeling is the most important thing - also she will be worrying about how you are, let her know how you feel too

amylynne1113 · Aug 12th, 2009, 16:43 PM

I delivered a "sleeping baby" on May 26th. It has been the most awful thing I have ever gone through. I have been back to work for about a month. My due date is tomorrow, August 13th. I mentioned this to one of my good friends here at work and that I was going to be sad and probably take the day off work. She said "You don't have a due date anymore" Duh? Did she really have to say that? She then asked me what my therapist said about it. I told her it was normal. I am having a difficult time talking to her since then. She used to be one of my good friends but I feel she has not been supportive at all during this whole thing. She didn't even come to the funeral. She said she would be there and then later told me something came up with her mom. I don't want to lose all of my friends over this but I feel them all pulling away - or maybe I am pulling away. Don't know.

Amos2009 · Aug 12th, 2009, 17:07 PM

Amy.....some people really have no clue of how to act or what to say. Most times, they need to say nothing- just show us that you are there for us and don't avoid us like we have the plague. Will be thinking of you tomorrow

hedgewitch · Aug 12th, 2009, 17:35 PM

had to tell a friend this morning that Lilly-Maye had passed away the day after they last saw me 4 weeks ago, they were really shocked and came over and hugged me then said, "well at least you're young enough to have another" W.T.F????
sat here and cried after they left and they couldn't wait to get away from me.xx

Kazi1976 · Aug 14th, 2009, 07:59 AM

I have a little girl but have just lost a baby at 15 weeks. We think he was a boy but can't be sure. My own mum said "I'm glad the baby was a boy because at least when you look at Kaydeigh, you won't think he'd be just like her" I didn't get mad as my mum's lovely and wouldn't have meant to hurt me but I couldn't believe she came out with that. I just try to understand that people don't know what to say so end up saying something crass.

charlie_v_o · Aug 18th, 2009, 14:28 PM

I recently had a miscarrage me and my OH had been trying for 5 months as i was told i couldnt have children or it would be very hard.. I had a feeling i was pregnant but hadnt done a test, i was rushed in to hospital with stomach pains and bleeding heavy.. the docs didnt no what was going on it was only yesterday when i went to my docs that she said i had a miscarrage.. and when i started to cry she turned and said 'oh sorry did that come as a shock i thought you would have known' My mum hasnt said anything to me at all even when i told her.. and all ive got so far is 'well atleast you no you can get pregnant' and well you didnt no you were pregnant so it cant be that hard'

But it was my baby, and now they've gone..

charlie_v_o · Aug 19th, 2009, 04:42 AM

and another one i forgot to put my 'lovely' mother all she said was
'You should be more careful next time, and use contreception'

How lovely of her..

Aug 6th, 2009, 11:08 AM	#61
Jenismyworld4 Dad Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 13	Me and partner have recently suffered our 2nd mc in four months. I didnt know what to say the 1st time round and it wasnt any easier the 2nd time round!. Our friends and family have been as supportive as they can be but it doesnt stop me feeling low. I can imagine what my partner is going through. I pray that there is something I can do but I am trying to be there for her as much as I can. I guess there is nothing anyone can say or do to make things better instantly.

Status: Offline

Aug 7th, 2009, 07:49 AM	#63
Jenismyworld4 Dad Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Essex Posts: 13	i just realised i had a typo in my last message i was supposed to say that i cant imagine wha my partner is going through.

Status: Offline

Aug 12th, 2009, 16:43 PM	#65
amylynne1113 Trying to conceive (TTC) New BnB Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 5	I couldn't believe she said it I delivered a "sleeping baby" on May 26th. It has been the most awful thing I have ever gone through. I have been back to work for about a month. My due date is tomorrow, August 13th. I mentioned this to one of my good friends here at work and that I was going to be sad and probably take the day off work. She said "You don't have a due date anymore" Duh? Did she really have to say that? She then asked me what my therapist said about it. I told her it was normal. I am having a difficult time talking to her since then. She used to be one of my good friends but I feel she has not been supportive at all during this whole thing. She didn't even come to the funeral. She said she would be there and then later told me something came up with her mom. I don't want to lose all of my friends over this but I feel them all pulling away - or maybe I am pulling away. Don't know.

Status: Offline

Aug 12th, 2009, 17:07 PM	#66
Amos2009 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Alabama US Posts: 3,417	Amy.....some people really have no clue of how to act or what to say. Most times, they need to say nothing- just show us that you are there for us and don't avoid us like we have the plague. Will be thinking of you tomorrow

Status: Online

Aug 12th, 2009, 17:35 PM	#67
hedgewitch Other BnB Addict Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: sunny south wales Posts: 4,237	had to tell a friend this morning that Lilly-Maye had passed away the day after they last saw me 4 weeks ago, they were really shocked and came over and hugged me then said, "well at least you're young enough to have another" W.T.F???? sat here and cried after they left and they couldn't wait to get away from me.xx

Status: Offline

Aug 14th, 2009, 07:59 AM	#68
Kazi1976 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: UK Posts: 126	I have a little girl but have just lost a baby at 15 weeks. We think he was a boy but can't be sure. My own mum said "I'm glad the baby was a boy because at least when you look at Kaydeigh, you won't think he'd be just like her" I didn't get mad as my mum's lovely and wouldn't have meant to hurt me but I couldn't believe she came out with that. I just try to understand that people don't know what to say so end up saying something crass.

Status: Offline

Aug 18th, 2009, 14:28 PM	#69
charlie_v_o Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Devon Posts: 49	I recently had a miscarrage me and my OH had been trying for 5 months as i was told i couldnt have children or it would be very hard.. I had a feeling i was pregnant but hadnt done a test, i was rushed in to hospital with stomach pains and bleeding heavy.. the docs didnt no what was going on it was only yesterday when i went to my docs that she said i had a miscarrage.. and when i started to cry she turned and said 'oh sorry did that come as a shock i thought you would have known' My mum hasnt said anything to me at all even when i told her.. and all ive got so far is 'well atleast you no you can get pregnant' and well you didnt no you were pregnant so it cant be that hard' But it was my baby, and now they've gone..

Status: Offline

Aug 19th, 2009, 04:42 AM	#70
charlie_v_o Other Active BnB Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Devon Posts: 49	and another one i forgot to put my 'lovely' mother all she said was 'You should be more careful next time, and use contreception' How lovely of her..

Status: Offline

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