What not to say: - Page 14

analyticalema · Dec 7th, 2009, 18:21 PM

Hi Londonbird,

Sorry your feeling rubbish, I'm sending you big squidgy hugs hugs!

I understand where you're coming from. I'm avoiding my family this Christmas. I think my family thrives on Drama...and I just don't. I'm usually the peacemaker but I just haven't got the patience.

I'm taking time for us this year and maybe you could too, at the very least limit time with them! You have enough to deal with...as difficult as it is to do...you don't need their issues! The way I'm feeling, it's probably a good thing for them too...my hormones are all over the place and the part of my brain that controls my mouth tends to go on strike around them at the moment...I think it's had enough of taking it!

They don't get it and I've found that people that are so wrapped up in their own opinions and issues go deaf when you try to explain how you feel.

Thinking of you and I hope you feel better soon!

Here for you!

KA92 · Dec 7th, 2009, 19:17 PM

god some people are really insensitive

ive had a few

one from a girl at school (they were ALL told not to mnetion that i no longer had my tiny bump etc)
"So like you lost it yeah? What was it like? Was there pure loads of blood?"

One from the doctors this time round
"So you were on the pill but you got pregnant? Well that was stupid, your young ebough to have more kids older" (im 17 but i dont think age matters)

And ladies the classic...from my OH(ex now!)
"Well im kinda glad babe, cos i hated that child i dont wana give up my future and i dont think you do either"

to you all sorry for your losses

Perdita · Dec 7th, 2009, 19:35 PM

I had to give birth at 34 weeks and it was traumatic enough but Evie was pushed into a corner when family came to see me and my sister wanted her taken out of the room before she came in. I understand why, it was a difficult time for her and she did so much for me, she went and bought some tiny clothes for her and offered to pay for the funeral if I wanted a burial but seeing that cot pushed into a corner haunts me know and I can't believe I let them do that. I've been lucky and everyone has said they are sorry for what's happened and wish they could say or do somthing to change it. A friend sent me a message saying she had cried when she heard but she respects me too much to trot out any cliches and to phone her if I needed anything. That I think was the right thing to say and it came from someone who had thought about the person I am, what would be the right thing to say to me rather than what might be right generally.

Drazic<3 · Dec 10th, 2009, 15:06 PM

A new one, a 'friend' of mine when talking about how I was going to buy a quinny off a girl at work (who she didn't even know!)

"Oh, she must have been gutted when she found out. She lost £60!"

majm1241 · Dec 10th, 2009, 20:52 PM

What not to say:

My boss told me today "It wasn't really a baby yet so it is not like you really miscarried!"

Lincoln Girl · Dec 14th, 2009, 20:51 PM

my worst one at the moment- you can always try again!!!!!!

i wanted that one if you didnt already know that!!!!

~curiosity~ · Dec 14th, 2009, 20:55 PM

Lincoln Girl · Dec 14th, 2009, 21:27 PM

just seen this one on another thread!!!

now you have a fresh start, at least that consolation prize... take care

some consolation prize it is!!!!!!! some people!!!

sue247 · Dec 26th, 2009, 15:18 PM

One from my wonderful caring mother

'were you taking medication that you should not have and killed it?'!! Like i would be that careless and stupid to do that and how inappropriate is that to even say such a thing - trying to blame to blame me!

im_mi · Dec 30th, 2009, 10:11 AM

When i had my first loss, i didnt realise i was pregnant and went out on the beer. A friend of mine told me that i probably lost the baby because i got drunk

nice.

Dec 7th, 2009, 18:21 PM	#131
analyticalema Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: UK Posts: 96	Hi Londonbird, Sorry your feeling rubbish, I'm sending you big squidgy hugs hugs! I understand where you're coming from. I'm avoiding my family this Christmas. I think my family thrives on Drama...and I just don't. I'm usually the peacemaker but I just haven't got the patience. I'm taking time for us this year and maybe you could too, at the very least limit time with them! You have enough to deal with...as difficult as it is to do...you don't need their issues! The way I'm feeling, it's probably a good thing for them too...my hormones are all over the place and the part of my brain that controls my mouth tends to go on strike around them at the moment...I think it's had enough of taking it! They don't get it and I've found that people that are so wrapped up in their own opinions and issues go deaf when you try to explain how you feel. Thinking of you and I hope you feel better soon! Here for you!

Status: Offline

Dec 7th, 2009, 19:17 PM	#132
KA92 Other BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Dundee Posts: 3,412	god some people are really insensitive ive had a few one from a girl at school (they were ALL told not to mnetion that i no longer had my tiny bump etc) "So like you lost it yeah? What was it like? Was there pure loads of blood?" One from the doctors this time round "So you were on the pill but you got pregnant? Well that was stupid, your young ebough to have more kids older" (im 17 but i dont think age matters) And ladies the classic...from my OH(ex now!) "Well im kinda glad babe, cos i hated that child i dont wana give up my future and i dont think you do either" to you all sorry for your losses

Status: Offline

Dec 7th, 2009, 19:35 PM	#133
Perdita Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Fife, Scotland Posts: 577	I had to give birth at 34 weeks and it was traumatic enough but Evie was pushed into a corner when family came to see me and my sister wanted her taken out of the room before she came in. I understand why, it was a difficult time for her and she did so much for me, she went and bought some tiny clothes for her and offered to pay for the funeral if I wanted a burial but seeing that cot pushed into a corner haunts me know and I can't believe I let them do that. I've been lucky and everyone has said they are sorry for what's happened and wish they could say or do somthing to change it. A friend sent me a message saying she had cried when she heard but she respects me too much to trot out any cliches and to phone her if I needed anything. That I think was the right thing to say and it came from someone who had thought about the person I am, what would be the right thing to say to me rather than what might be right generally.

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2009, 15:06 PM	#134
Drazic<3 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Norfolk, England. Posts: 9,295	A new one, a 'friend' of mine when talking about how I was going to buy a quinny off a girl at work (who she didn't even know!) "Oh, she must have been gutted when she found out. She lost £60!"

Status: Offline

Dec 10th, 2009, 20:52 PM	#135
majm1241 Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Living @ Ft. Rucker, AL but TEXAS is HOME!! Posts: 8,204	What not to say: My boss told me today "It wasn't really a baby yet so it is not like you really miscarried!"

Status: Online

Dec 14th, 2009, 20:51 PM	#136
Lincoln Girl Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Lincoln, UK Posts: 1,069	my worst one at the moment- you can always try again!!!!!! i wanted that one if you didnt already know that!!!!

Status: Offline

Dec 14th, 2009, 20:55 PM	#137
~curiosity~ Waiting To Try (WTT) Active BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: South Wales Posts: 304

Status: Offline

Dec 14th, 2009, 21:27 PM	#138
Lincoln Girl Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Lincoln, UK Posts: 1,069	just seen this one on another thread!!! now you have a fresh start, at least that consolation prize... take care some consolation prize it is!!!!!!! some people!!!

Status: Offline

Dec 26th, 2009, 15:18 PM	#139
sue247 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: London, UK Posts: 920	One from my wonderful caring mother 'were you taking medication that you should not have and killed it?'!! Like i would be that careless and stupid to do that and how inappropriate is that to even say such a thing - trying to blame to blame me!

Status: Offline

Dec 30th, 2009, 10:11 AM	#140
im_mi Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Devon Posts: 2,191	When i had my first loss, i didnt realise i was pregnant and went out on the beer. A friend of mine told me that i probably lost the baby because i got drunk nice.

Status: Offline

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