I am looking for some advice for my sister she is pulling her hair out with her 6 year old ds and i dont know what to tell her.

He has never been a very good sleeper but she always assumed he would grow out of it and settle down eventually, going to bed isn't a huge problem although after being tucked in at 7.30pm he tends to 'need the toilet' or 'need a drink' before eventually nodding off. then he wakes at 10pm needing tucked in again, at 2pm he wants into mums bed and at 5.30am the games a boogie and he's up!

my poor sister also has an 18 month old and is 20 weeks pg with #3 and is shattered from spending the night putting him back to bed she is also worried about his school work as he isn't getting enough sleep.

can anyone help?

Tell her to try the approach of taking him to bed at a bedtime, reading a story, tucking him in and then leaving him. When / if he gets up, she should take him back to bed and just say, "it's bed time" if he continues, every time she must just pick him up, take him to bed and after the first time, she shouldn't even say anything - just pick him up and put him in bed. It may be very hard as it has been left so late he is really quite old to be doing this! Your poor sister she must be exhausted! It will probably take a few nights of being persistent with this method and you really do need to be persistent with it or there is no point doing it in the first place -needs to be every time he gets up back to bed straight away - no excuses no tuck in's, make sure he has water by his bed so he can't use the "I need a drink excuse". Like I was saying it may take several nights of doing this constantly before he gets the idea and it will be exhausting work for your sister, but worth it in the long run as within days he will be sleeping soundly through the night. So hopefully before LO #3 arrives he will be well into his bedtime sleep routine.

I hope she finds something that works for her! Poor woman she must be exhausted!! Best of luck to her x

thanks very much tasha i will pass on your advice. he is such a monkey, he sneeks into her bed when shes asleep, doesn't bother to ask if he can come in cause he knows the answer will be no. cheeky monkey!!!

not sure weather 3 and 6 make much difference but wanted to share my story.

my son was in his cotbed until we moved into our new apartment where he has a thomas the tank bed in his own room. at first it was a hassell getting him to stay in his bed, he wouldn't go in on his own. and during the night he wouldalways get up and come in our bed, sometimes across the bottom and even in the ensuite doorway we found him once asleep on his knees when we woke up and he was in his bed we would put him back in his own, no matter how many times that was. he got it in the end, sometimes now he comes in our room and more often than not i hear him and he runs back to his room i dunno why because i don't shout at him or tell him off? and sometimes i've wanted tocuddle him and said come on and get in mummys bed for cuddles and he's fell asleep , but more often than not he will run back or i'll say go on in your bed baby and he'll go.

as i mentioned getting him into bed was a problem. now what we do is we have a routine and we say come on letsput jamas on for bed and give him his glass of milk and then brush his teeth then get him into bed after letting him choose a book which we read to him and then we tell him to put his nightlight on (his thomas bed blocks it buti think it's just because its on he thinks its lighter.kwim? i turn it off when i go back into check on him) his bedtime is between 9-10. sometimes though he falls asleep on our knee having a cuddle though. but nowhe's a great sleeper. he's fab now,really great at sleeping and i really do think it is the routine. he knows where heis and what happenskwim?

i'm 30 weeks preg with spd/pgp and my grandparents have bee having him andhesleeps between them but when he comes here thereisno problems at all with a messy routine or whatever. we have only been here 6months and3 of them he mustof been mainly atmyg/parents because of the pain i'm in and he has managed to get sorted withn 3months.
xXx

my 6yr old has been under the child development unit at local hospital since he was 2.5 for behavoiour and sleep issues. we were lucky to get an hour a night.

anyway the hospital made him his own special story - at...... J..... goes has his tea, after tea he can play for a short time. when mum/dad say to put the toys away he does. its then time to go upstairs. j........ goes to the bathroom, has a wash/bath and brushes his teeth and goes to the toilet. its then time to get into pjs and into bed. mum/dad will read him a story, give him a cuddle and kiss and its time to say goodnight. j......must now stay in his bed like a big boy until the morning unless he needs the toilet during the night but he must get back into his own bed. (the j is my sons name, and tere is abit to the story) but thats the basics of it.

as well as the story we were told to put a stairgate on his room so he couldnt get out and go to anyone elses room. dont give drinks from an hour b4 bedtime, if he shouts demands that he wants a drink etc ignore him. if he does get out of bed/his room calmly fetch him and put back in bed dont look or speak to him.

its very hard to ignore them when they are shouting demands at you but they are doing it for attention - even if its bad by you shouting at them. after about 2weeks of hard work my son realised he wasnt going to get a drink or an answer from us and stopped shouting down the stairs. he worked out how to get over the stairgate so i got a dog gate as they are higher, this stopped his night wanderings.

the sleep itself didnt improve and he is now on melatonin for sleep and we get about 4hrs a night, not ideal but he knows that if he wakes he is to stay in his room quietly and look at a book with his torch or play with his cuddly toys quietly!


forgot to say PRAISE HIM as much as you can if and when he stays in his own room/bed. they respond better to praise than shouting. it is very hard i will admit, especially when all you want to do is shout "shut up"