I think that children do know that they shouldn't 'explore' because they do it when there are no adults around but I also think that it's completely normal and they shouldn't be made to feel bad about it, just gently told not to do it. Your sister is over reacting and maybe there is an underlying reason, maybe there isn't. Maybe you could send her a link to this thread? I hope things calm down and you can all get along again.

Definitely overreacting, and if anything, she is going to CREATE an issue or problem out of it and ought to consider how her actions might have long term effects on her daughter's state of mind. I think this is something that should be tread carefully with adults when they discover it. I agree that it is normal and the worse thing a parent could do is shame the activity as the lasting repercussions about the way they feel about their bodies etc can really be devastating. At the same time, however, it's obviously not something that one would encourage or allow happen, as Shireena has pointed out from her personal experience (so sorry ) that one never knows where it could lead in the *future* when they get older.

So yeah, definitely normal, definitely ''ok'' in its own way, but definitely something to gently let them know is not a game they should play with eachother, etc... it's hard to find a way to deal with it and tread that diplomatic line between stopping the activity whilst not shaming them about it either, ya know? I've had to deal with similar with mine as he and his neighbor friends were ''pretending sex'' with the teddy bears. My son never even knew about sex and learned the word and thought off the 8 year old neighbor boy, who himself thinks sex is ''being naked and kissing'', lol...so it's innocent enough in one way but I had to gently put a stop to it and discussed it with the neighbors' dad as well (nicely and we both agreed).

It's important both parents in a situation like that take on their own responsibility and not be laying blame to the other kid. Yes, there surely are some situations where it can clearly be blamed on one child or the other, but in most cases I think it's both kids having a smirk and a chuckle.

I'd feel horrid too about your sister with this situation. She needs to clue up and take some responsibility. She made the whole thing worse by her reaction, for her daughter and your son. I'd be livid with her for her reaction. So sorry you are experiencing this. She sounds pretty stubborn-headed and no parent wants to admit their own child might be guilty of participating too, so not sure how much luck you'll have with that. There's plenty of information from ''child experts'' regarding this phenomenon and I suppose you could always try gathering that information and sharing it with family so they understand that it's not deviant behavior and perhaps open their minds a bit and stop being so judgmental.

Id be more worried about your sister thinking it was something sexual. At that age children are curious to there bodies and it is normal for them to explore ect. There is nothing sexual about it.

At that age children dont have any sexual feelings or even understand what it is or what those parts of their body are for so i think she was completely over reacting. i can imagine walking in and finding them she was probably a bit surprised and taken aback, but to go to hospital and ostricise you and your son like that is terrible. Hope she realises she has over reacted for all your familys sake soon, your little boy must be quite upset and wonder what all the fuss is about!

Marie x

ooops just realised this post is quite old now :-/

i remember doing that with a friend when i was around that age. its normal. def nothing wrong with your son, there is clearly something wrong with your sister judging by her reaction.

In my case we didnt get "caught" and i wonder what the reaction would of been if we had bur def just part of growing up.