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Old Dec 17th, 2009, 03:41 AM   #11
nievesmama
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I have this with my son. He started school this year, hes one of the oldest as he was born in Nov.
I feel i have a different child, hes stroppy, disobedient and wow major tantrums.
Hes also started helping himself to stuff at home and school, when asked he says because he wants it. Im at my wits end with him at times. Yet at weekends hes not to bad.
I think its a starting school thing, they are being taught to be independant but also have more rigid routine thatn at pre school x


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Old Jan 29th, 2010, 08:59 AM   #12
belle254
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I don't feel that i have any real business posting in here as i don't have a child myself, but my 5 year old brother has been going through the same thing!
He started school in September 2009 and turned 5 in October, so he's one of the eldest and (unsurprisingly) one of the tallest. He's had lots of anger issues in the past but they faded with age and between September 2009 and Christmas he really seemed to settle down and enjoy school.
However, earlier this month the school had to spit the class up because of the high numbers of new children, so my brother was put in with a new teacher. He had most of his friends with him, but the classroom and teacher were different. Since then he's been an absolute nightmare- kicking, shouting and not joining in at school and having to be dragged to actually get to school. He too says he hates it and 'doesn't like the games.'
We're meeting with his new and old teachers soon to try and figure out a solution, but it better be soon cause he's driving everyone up the wall!
Maybe those first few months are really sensitive?


 
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Old Jan 29th, 2010, 16:59 PM   #13
Minstermind
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There's a lot going on there. Dealing with school and the influence of other kids, rough play on the playground, and three of the vehicles he is used to getting around in are suddenly gone. From a child's perspective, those are all pretty huge deals and I think I can understand why he'd be angry. We can speculate on the exact reasons but I'm sure it's a feeling of sadness, loss, and ensuing anger from all those vehicles and the toys that were in them being out of his life now (I know it's ''just cars'' to us adults but I really think to kids these things can have a real attachment, and to lose three is a lot).

I'm sure the loss of toys made him mad too.. as for the school stuff, my own son started changing his behaviors and personality a bit when he started school. They are so influenced by their peers and tend to copy them or see someone else misbehaving and ''try it on'' for themselves. The playground can also be very rough and from stories my son has told me (and spying on them a few times), I've noticed it's very common for boys in particular to play chasing games and at times a whole group could be chasing after one boy. It could be that they are playing something like this with him but he doesn't like it or want to be a part of it, and that fuels the ''gang mentality'' of the others and makes him even more a target as they tend to think it's funny and get a kick out of it. That could definitely be causing him to feel angry.

It's sort of like a lot of big things in his life have crumbled all around him, and completely out of his control, and being hassled on the playground which he is having trouble sorting. All that helplessness can lead to lashing out and being angry.

I have no wonderful solutions, just a few tidbits of ideas. I definitely think speaking with the school to monitor him on the playground could help. I noticed when I spied on my son on the playground, that the two teachers who were suppose to be supervising the playground spent most of their time talking to eachother and oblivious to what was going on around them, so that's something else to perhaps watch out for.

Another thought is to definitely have a chat with him and turn off the part of you that might want to explain what happened or make it better (about the cars and all) and see if you can get him to open up and let that anger out more directly rather than coming out in other ways.

It's a tough situation alright as we try to help our little ones process some pretty intense emotions!!


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