i have a 12 1/2 yr old son who is growing up really fast...he is a very clever lad in top classes in all his lessons theres just one problem where i a iv always allowed him to be honest and open with me (as i believe this is the relationship i want with all my children) he is now getting into gurls (only fancying mind) and is starting to want to discuss sexual issues that are being raised with friends in school...i am only 29 i had him quite young and tho i dont mind discussing important sex issues there are certain things im not willing to discuss yet until hes older (oral sex etc) how do i let him know this without actually making him think he cannot talk to me full stop...i like to know what hes up2 and dont want him to think he cannot talk and discuss things with me...i just dont think he needs to know certain things as its way to soon...
I know it must be difficult because to you he is just your 12 and a half year old son, but he will know an awful lot more than you think he does!
-I don't think you need to go into the ins and outs and to be honest I don't think you need to discuss oral sex...I'd have died if my parents ever talked to me about it lol .... but what I think i'd want to make clear, even at such a young age is the importance of safe sex. My OH was having sex at 13, which I think is Waaaaaay to young, but it does happen, so I'd at least want him aware of condoms!
If your son is bringing up things such as oral sex, I imagine he's trying to wind you up or embarrass you as the majority of children aren't exactly going to want a lesson on it from their parents!
If your son is bringing up things such as oral sex, I imagine he's trying to wind you up or embarrass you as the majority of children aren't exactly going to want a lesson on it from their parents!
i have already thought that he is just having a laugh at his poor mummys expense...cause i blush profoundly and say to him johnny j (his nickname) theres a time and place and this is NOT it...! i dont find it funny AT ALL!!!
Last edited by Jo : 17-02-2008 at 15:24 PM.
Reason: corrected quotes :)
i have already thought that he is just having a laugh at his poor mummys expense...cause i blush profoundly and say to him johnny j (his nickname) theres a time and place and this is NOT it...! i dont find it funny AT ALL!!!
I should imagine your right there, proberbly amuses him to see you get embarrassed.....in a few years time it will turn around, I bet it will be him getting embarrassed when you ask him questions!
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The following user says 'Thanks' to RachieH for this post:
Personally i would stay open and honest with him, if he really wants to know he will find it out from else where. If my son asked me that i would be truthful with him, even if it was uncomfortable and embarassing. And if he is winding you up then it will be him who ends up embarased!!
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The following user says 'Thanks' to hypnorm for this post:
I agree with hypnorm. I remember hearing about oral sex at the age of 11 from a friend and it scared the crap out of me (she told it wrong). I personally would prefer my child to hear about these things from me and not from anyone else. At least this way I could be sure they are being told about it in a sensible way. It must be horrible, I dread the day my baby is old eough to ask questions but be proud that your son feels that he can ask his mum these questions
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The following user says 'Thanks' to beanie for this post:
Are there any books he could read? I bought 'Have you started yet?' which is all about body changes in a girl as she approaches puberty.Basic enough for my 9 year old. Obviouslt the nitty gritty of sex is another matter!
My folks never really had the birds and bees talk with me. Just said to wait until I was in love because it would be special. But to make sure It was safe. But we have Sex Education in US. I beleive it was In junior Highschool...... I agree with Rachie.....Have the Safe sex talk.
I have 5 teenagers 2 boys and 3 girls and I never was excitesd about when the time would come to have that talk but I was always very open and honest with my children, I always felt that if they were big enough to come to me and ask me a question then I would always be big enough to give tell them the truth. My 16 year old son was having a hard time with his friends because he has not had sex yet, and he finally got tuff about it and tell everyone that he saving himself for his love of his life, I ma so proud of him.
I know it must be difficult because to you he is just your 12 and a half year old son, but he will know an awful lot more than you think he does!
-I don't think you need to go into the ins and outs and to be honest I don't think you need to discuss oral sex...I'd have died if my parents ever talked to me about it lol .... but what I think i'd want to make clear, even at such a young age is the importance of safe sex. My OH was having sex at 13, which I think is Waaaaaay to young, but it does happen, so I'd at least want him aware of condoms!
I agree.. I think you should inform him about safe sex. My OH was also having sex at 12-13; and even my mother (we are a very open family as well.. ) was at 13. I think its way to young and couldn't imagine my little boy getting into it that young, but two of my little brothers are already and they are only 13 and 15. Children nowadays are growing up so fast! (Coming from a 19 yr old! )
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) was at 13. I think its way to young and couldn't imagine my little boy getting into it that young, but two of my little brothers are already and they are only 13 and 15. Children nowadays are growing up so fast! (Coming from a 19 yr old! 
)
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