supernurse

God, I totally forgot I started this thread.
Well, since starting it I definately feel a lot more positive about how things are gonna work out.
My DD is excited about meeting her new sister, we've even decided to have her come to the birth. I think deep down it's not how she's gonna be that I've been worried about rather than how I'm gonna be and I know that I have to try and keep the relationship that I have with her as strong as it is. I've always found it hard to contemplate having to share the 110% love and attention with another child, but now I know that it's not about having to share it but creating new love and attention for our new addition.

shimmyshimmy

Well I had 2nd just before 1st born turned 2, and I felt really sad that she would be sharing me. But in time I realised that the benefits from having a sibling far outweigh the negatives of them sharing attention. If anything it is another stage in thier learning.
I am now trying for my 3rd and I do worry that the age gap of 6-7 years depending on when I finally fall pregnant will effect my first born. She is particularly sensitive, 2nd born, well he is a typical boy and takes everything in his stride. He is very laid back.
I think it all depends on the childs personality.xxx

JeansMommy

My son is almost going to be 8 when we bring this LO home. My daughter will be almost 4-1/2 years old. I worry about the relationship in the future, especially between my son and my new daughter because it seems like such a huge gap. My DH and his brother have a 9-year gap, and their relationship (though pleasant) is more of a father/son type of relationship where they only really talk when his brother needs advice.

spoo

Hi there, I know exactly what you mean. My son is 7 now and we are trying now for baby #2. We've always wanted another baby but have delayed it for various reasons, mainly money and health.

My main concern is will I be able to share the love properly? Our son has had our undivided attention since he was born and although not spoilt, hasn't needed to want for anything. I'm not worried about how he'll react to a sibling, I know he'll adore him / her. Hes already suggesting names!

My mum once told me that you will still love your firstborn but the amount of love increases. I don't think its possible to experience this until it actually happens!

So fingers crossed xxxx

enigma

Its true, your love for one child doesent drop because you have another, you develope more love so you have more to give.
The best way to go about it is, when you do get pregnant, involve him in it as much as you can, take him to the scans, tell him everything you are experienceing (with a few execptions of course), let him feel the baby moving around inside you, then just carry this on when baby arrives, let him help with the nappys changes and bathing, he will love being given these jobs to do to help you with his his little bro/sis.

kdrah132

When My wife and I had Alyssa, our older daughter was at first happy, but became very jealous of her new sister. She was so used to getting all of the attention and she really did not know what to do. We tried to include her in so many things but still felt she was not the centre of attention.

enigma

I had a similar problem with my eldest boy when i had my youngest, he wouldent look at him in the hospital and when we came home he played up for weeks.
He used to pick on the baby, but one day after a bad night, i nodded off on the couch leaving the kids watching tv, i woke up not long after though to the baby crying, when i opened my eyes the baby looked like a snowman, my elder son had coverd him from top to toe in washing powder.
I of course flipped at him for doing it and he spent the day in bed, while i took the baby to hospital, luckly he was fine, just needed his eyes cleaning and checking.
A couple of days later the baby was fine, but my other son seemed to see things from a different point of view, he was very worried about his brother.
They have been best mates since.

A bit of topic, but you post reminded me.

Djm

I have 3 daughters. The eldest is 19, then 13 and 10. The most difficulty we had was with the eldest because her world changed and she was no longer the center of everything. The younger two idolize her since she is older and cooler. I've always said if I could do it again I'd have them closer. Now having said that I have found myself in the position of being pregnant with our son. He is due in September. They are excited but it shall prove to be interesting.

spoo

Thanks for your interesting responses - our son says hes excited and can't wait to help out but at the same time hes used to being the centre of attention as an only child.

I think only time will tell how he will react to a baby brother or sister. Maybe involving him during the pregnancy will help. He already has 3 younger cousins, whom he adores and will do anything for, so maybe thats already a good sign!

ls27

i was 8 when my mum had my younger brother, i loved it and i still do now! although at the time i can remember having a stage where i was jealous but i got over that quickly and really enjoyed helping my mum out and i still do. my brother and i are really close and i really do believe this is because of the age gap.