What age should a child be allowed to play out without you?

Berniep · Apr 8th, 2009, 17:45 PM

Hi my eldest son was 8 in March and went into keystage 2 (juniors) in September. Some of his friends already play out on the street around the corner from where we live and James would love to play out with them but i'm not sure he's old enough, we've invited his friends to come and play here in our garden but they never stay long and i once heard one telling him its too boring and babyish playing at home. I don't want James to be picked on for not been allowed to play out but i don't want to put him in danger either you hear so many horror stories nowadays, Any advice would be very welcome x

jackiea85 · Apr 8th, 2009, 17:51 PM

My sister is 9 and lives in a small village. My mum has started letting her out to the park with her friends recently but she has to take a walkie talkie with her, might be an idea? I don't have any real experience myself but definitely don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, it totally depends on how safe u feel the area is xx

Berniep · Apr 8th, 2009, 17:56 PM

Thank you for your quick reply, the street where his friends play my sister lives on so i was thinking to start with i could go to hers for a cuppa and could watch him but obviously i can't be at hers all the time so then the next step could be me nipping round the corner at 20 min intervals to check he's ok and gradually extending the intervals, but to be honest the thought of him been out without me scares me to death am i just been over protective?

jackiea85 · Apr 8th, 2009, 18:31 PM

I don't think you are over-protective at all. It sounds like a good idea to me, see how it goes

xx

tasha41 · Apr 8th, 2009, 18:56 PM

I think it really depends on the child and the area you live in and how many friends he'll be out with. I worked at a drop-in program at a park for kids during the summer and 8 year olds would come by with their friends but usually not on their own unless it the park was within sight of their house.

Maybe set some ground rules.. stick with a friend at all times (you know "safety in numbers"). Make sure he knows his phone number, that his friends know where you guys live, etc. in case of emergencies. Spend some time walking around your neighbourhood and identify the safe and unsafe places, set up boundaries, ie: you can't go past this street to the north, this to the south, west, east, etc.

Berniep · Apr 9th, 2009, 08:45 AM

Thanks for that Tasha, who'd have thought back when you were ttc your 1st little one that you would soon be making such difficult decisions, they grow up way too fast x

MummyMummy · Apr 9th, 2009, 09:59 AM

never. just lock 'em up forever i say. kids don't have to grow up, if we don't want them to. wont miss what they never had

it's scary thinking now that 1 day my 3year old will ask to do this and ask to walk home from school and tell me hes too big for kisses and loves

xXx

mommy2 · Apr 9th, 2009, 10:01 AM

It is a hard decission and i don't believe you are being over protective at all, I feel that way about my son not being around me. I remember when he first started school i was so paranoid that i would park my car at the school and sit and wait until he entered school when the bell rang, I think its just how we are as parents we need to protect our little ones. I think its your choice though - it depends on so many things like the area, the friend, your child. I am sure you will come to the right choice and yes they certainly grow up fast - faster than we would like....

babystar · Apr 9th, 2009, 10:10 AM

Joani is 7 nxt month and I dont let her out to play. Its not specifically the area I dont like her playing in its the kids. Where we live there are unfirtunately ALOT of drug addicts with children my daughters age. The kids run riot in the street vandalising etc and the language that comes from their mouths is unreal. I wouldnt even use some of the words they are coming away with. And this is kids that are in Joanis class at school. It is a shame because they shout on her to come out and she shouts back not tonight.....but i am afraid it will not b any night.... her father and I will not allow her out to play with them.

Genna · Apr 9th, 2009, 12:03 PM

I was 9 when my mom let me out to go ride my bike (half of the time she would be sitting on the porch reading, gardening, or doing something outside), but I could only stay in view of the house, "if I look out the window and I can't see you, and if you can't see the front of the house, you are too far!" she would tell me. It didn't bug me much, I was too scared to go any further at that time anyway, lol!! And I really couldn't be bothered to go out before then, unless it was to a friends house, which my friends parents always made us stay in the yard. I remember when I was allowed to go "around the block" on my bike, it was such an adrenaline kick! I was 10.

I say, It's the neighborhood you live in and how safe you feel and how much you feel you can trust your son will obey set rules. When you are comfortable, there's no right or wrong time.

Apr 8th, 2009, 17:45 PM	#1
Berniep Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 3,691	What age should a child be allowed to play out without you? Hi my eldest son was 8 in March and went into keystage 2 (juniors) in September. Some of his friends already play out on the street around the corner from where we live and James would love to play out with them but i'm not sure he's old enough, we've invited his friends to come and play here in our garden but they never stay long and i once heard one telling him its too boring and babyish playing at home. I don't want James to be picked on for not been allowed to play out but i don't want to put him in danger either you hear so many horror stories nowadays, Any advice would be very welcome x

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Apr 8th, 2009, 17:51 PM	#2
jackiea85 Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2,398	My sister is 9 and lives in a small village. My mum has started letting her out to the park with her friends recently but she has to take a walkie talkie with her, might be an idea? I don't have any real experience myself but definitely don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, it totally depends on how safe u feel the area is xx

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Apr 8th, 2009, 17:56 PM	#3
Berniep Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 3,691	Thank you for your quick reply, the street where his friends play my sister lives on so i was thinking to start with i could go to hers for a cuppa and could watch him but obviously i can't be at hers all the time so then the next step could be me nipping round the corner at 20 min intervals to check he's ok and gradually extending the intervals, but to be honest the thought of him been out without me scares me to death am i just been over protective?

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Apr 8th, 2009, 18:31 PM	#4
jackiea85 Other Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 2,398	I don't think you are over-protective at all. It sounds like a good idea to me, see how it goes xx

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Apr 8th, 2009, 18:56 PM	#5
tasha41 Mum (Mom) BnB Spammer Elite Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Hamilton, Canada Posts: 23,921	I think it really depends on the child and the area you live in and how many friends he'll be out with. I worked at a drop-in program at a park for kids during the summer and 8 year olds would come by with their friends but usually not on their own unless it the park was within sight of their house. Maybe set some ground rules.. stick with a friend at all times (you know "safety in numbers"). Make sure he knows his phone number, that his friends know where you guys live, etc. in case of emergencies. Spend some time walking around your neighbourhood and identify the safe and unsafe places, set up boundaries, ie: you can't go past this street to the north, this to the south, west, east, etc.

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2009, 08:45 AM	#6
Berniep Mum (Mom) BnB Addict Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 3,691	Thanks for that Tasha, who'd have thought back when you were ttc your 1st little one that you would soon be making such difficult decisions, they grow up way too fast x

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Apr 9th, 2009, 09:59 AM	#7
MummyMummy Pregnant (Expecting) Active BnB Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 799	never. just lock 'em up forever i say. kids don't have to grow up, if we don't want them to. wont miss what they never had it's scary thinking now that 1 day my 3year old will ask to do this and ask to walk home from school and tell me hes too big for kisses and loves xXx

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2009, 10:01 AM	#8
mommy2 Mum (Mom) Active BnB Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 638	It is a hard decission and i don't believe you are being over protective at all, I feel that way about my son not being around me. I remember when he first started school i was so paranoid that i would park my car at the school and sit and wait until he entered school when the bell rang, I think its just how we are as parents we need to protect our little ones. I think its your choice though - it depends on so many things like the area, the friend, your child. I am sure you will come to the right choice and yes they certainly grow up fast - faster than we would like....

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2009, 10:10 AM	#9
babystar Pregnant (Expecting) Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 4,737	Joani is 7 nxt month and I dont let her out to play. Its not specifically the area I dont like her playing in its the kids. Where we live there are unfirtunately ALOT of drug addicts with children my daughters age. The kids run riot in the street vandalising etc and the language that comes from their mouths is unreal. I wouldnt even use some of the words they are coming away with. And this is kids that are in Joanis class at school. It is a shame because they shout on her to come out and she shouts back not tonight.....but i am afraid it will not b any night.... her father and I will not allow her out to play with them.

Status: Offline

Apr 9th, 2009, 12:03 PM	#10
Genna Mum (Mom) Chat Happy BnB Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,696	I was 9 when my mom let me out to go ride my bike (half of the time she would be sitting on the porch reading, gardening, or doing something outside), but I could only stay in view of the house, "if I look out the window and I can't see you, and if you can't see the front of the house, you are too far!" she would tell me. It didn't bug me much, I was too scared to go any further at that time anyway, lol!! And I really couldn't be bothered to go out before then, unless it was to a friends house, which my friends parents always made us stay in the yard. I remember when I was allowed to go "around the block" on my bike, it was such an adrenaline kick! I was 10. I say, It's the neighborhood you live in and how safe you feel and how much you feel you can trust your son will obey set rules. When you are comfortable, there's no right or wrong time.

Status: Offline

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