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Old May 16th, 2009, 23:34 PM   #1
tasha41
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When women don't put out... :P


Written by a man.. but kinda funny in a mean way LOL.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her!


 
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Old May 17th, 2009, 08:17 AM   #2
Panda_Ally
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:rolf:


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Old May 17th, 2009, 08:18 AM   #3
Panda_Ally
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lol i mean


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Old May 17th, 2009, 09:09 AM   #4
CareBear
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never underestimate someone!


 
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Old May 17th, 2009, 09:12 AM   #5
ALY
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Old May 18th, 2009, 21:19 PM   #6
impatient1
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:rfol: thats great.


 
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Old May 21st, 2009, 17:47 PM   #7
Charlotte-j
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Old May 21st, 2009, 17:53 PM   #8
Duffy6684
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Old May 21st, 2009, 17:53 PM   #9
Alexas Mommy
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must show this one to OH lmao


 
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Old May 27th, 2009, 09:07 AM   #10
teen mummy
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hahahaha thats funny clever man :P


 
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