StillTrying

Hi all
I found this forum whilst doing a search on Google for BUPA IVF clinics.
You see we've just completed our first IVF and found out today that basically there will be no embryo transfer.
I'm trying very very hard to fight back the tears so please forgive me if there are any typos or spelling mistakes.
You see I've just turned 40 and my partner is 36 we were preggers before, naturally about 8 years ago but it wasn't to be as I suffered a brain anerysm and had to have it clipped. Which meant that I couldn't have the baby.
Since then we have been trying but to no avail.

We started our first IVF cycle in September 2006, a week after my 40th birthday. We were told that I had good follicles and his swimmers were 20 times the average. However, we failed this cycle today.

Our IVF was done at the Oxford Fertility Unit, I received the call this morning at around 08:00 and was told "Unfortunately, you were not successful this time and I will get a consultant to call you." It's almost mid-day and no one has called. So I decided to call but the consultant is too busy to speak with me. Out of frustration I thought, "we have BUPA let me see if we can try again using a NON NHS hospital" and got a list from this forum.

Sorry for the long intro. but I just need someone to read and/or listen and/or offer advice for someone like me who really wants to have children.

thanks for your time..
I guess it's time for a tetley's

Arcanegirl

Hi StillTrying Welcome to the forum.
sorry your first IVF cycle didnt work out
This is a great forum for support, theres always someone around when you need them.

StillTrying

Oh Arcanegirl cheers so very much!
The consultant from Oxford just called and said that if we want to try again I would have to wait until after my 3rd period.
Then he went on to say that out of the 8 follicles that were taken out 5 of them weren't mature, 2 had three nuclei (sp?) and 1 fertilized but failed to divide.
I'm trying to look on the positive side of things by saying to myself, "Well my fear of needles has subsided" and "it's great to be able to sniff legal drugs" things that make me sort of chuckle to myself ... but nothing takes away the pain.

I just don't know what to do now.. I want to try again but the consultant says that I need to watch out for my age - being 40. But there are loads of women who are 40 and older having babies.

Maybe I should try another IVF clinic because I must admit my experience with the NHS was less than stellar.

I'll speak to my doctor and see what she says

Wobbles

I'll have a nescafe whist you have the kettle on :wink:

First welcome to the forum & most of all a BIG hug needed & deserved

I am really sorry to hear of your frustration there are many girl's here all with different stories to tell. Some of us have a longer journey than others (me for one) - It will be all the more special.

I can imagine all is gloom for you right now & maybe disheartened by IVF - One of the girl's here (Helen) has just been through a positive IVF cycle I'm quite sure she will understand your journey a little more than some of us although we have all followed her journal & have a good idea on the ups & downs along with the emotions & upset. I would consider IVF for recurrent miscarriages although it's all money money money it's disgraceful!

What I find more outraged it the lack of communication through peoples heartache & suffering - My doctors and the EPU have been a complete disgrace & I hate the 'busy excuse' then finding yourself chasing THEM it's just .. well ... GRRRRRRR

Wobbles

Oh I crack the odd joke through my harsh experiences - It doesn't ease the pain but it helps in the most strangest way!

The needles Crickey your telling me I had a BIG fear & now it hardly bothers me! The best bit is coming home from the EPU with our needles & druggy box! I still have mine put away I'm scared the woman in Boots will think bad of why I have that box

StillTrying

I can't stop crying - I really am trying to be positive but I can't stop crying.
I've had a look thru. Helen's journal wishing that it were me.. as we both started around the same month.
Oh why isn't it me?
must go and chill out..

Wobbles

I know there must be so many negaitive thoughts an upset but try to think of the positive outcomes too - There are some it's just finding your feet!

I've had so much heartache - 1 ectopic & more than enough chemical pregnancies trying this injection an that injection, doubling folic acid etc etc etc what a head fuck that can be! The emotional side I can't imagine to be much different only the circumstances but we want the same thing.

StillTrying

Thank you so very much for your support.
My partner and I have decided to go to CRM London for our next try at IVF (but this depends on how much it costs ££££ of course).

According to HFEA they have a better success rate than stinky-old Oxford (un) fertility.

I also spoke to my Doctor and she was so very supportive and kind that she made me break down in tears.

She said that although she had a day off tomorrow she would go thru. and ring round to get some stats and recommendations for IVF hospitals as she has a few contacts in the medical biz. I would like to see what she comes up with tomorrow.

Things aren't that bad and I do really think that I should start a journal too. As of today or maybe tomorrow when my head is feeling up to it.

What a day it's been..!!!
The last time I cried like that was when I was born and even then the doctor had to smack my ass to make the tears flow.....however, the biggest-bestest positive is that I have made some new fertile friends here on Baby & Bump - so cheers!!!



Loads of to you all for putting up with my long intro and cyber tears..!

Arcanegirl

Good luck with going private.

Wobbles

It sounds like you have the first part of your journey sorted - A good doctor who CARES! Mines been useless - Prescribed me the progesterone pill once instead of progesterone supplements That’s just a small example of the ****!

We can't wait to move to find a new doctor & a new EPU unit then decide where we go next although we're still trying for success

I'm a believer a cry does you the world of good & if a journal & some supportive words on the way help then go for it - For me I have to say its a bit of help when I type or slam some days my feelings down on here & its been amazing the support I have received over the internet

Did you do your IVF cycle on the NHS?

Funny my OH just came back from the bank & said a girl donated her eggs & got IVF for £500! I was a little concerned how he started this convo