Pricey

So my ex randomly text me today and asked me whey the baby should have my surname. I tried explaining how I'm going to be as good as I can be whether we are together or not, I gave her to you etc. But she did not agree and said how she has been carrying her etc and now wants her to have her surname.

I messaged back saying how someone must have brought it up because until now, she agreed for her to have my surname.

In my defense I then messaged saying, it's normal for the babies to have their dads surname unless it's a case of the dad is not interested and has buggered off. She of course, did not agree.

So now, from nowhere, after all this time, my little girl might not be getting my name. I find this really upsetting, and will be an embarrassment for me.

Thoughts?

xxannxx

My Lo has my surname, not my ex's, although he still has access, as i'm the main carer, tbh it was never in question he would have his fathers. Have you maybe considered having both surnames? Also, why would it be an embarrassment for LO not to have your name?

Pricey

Because everyone could see how happy I was, and then she just left me, and now this.

blackrose

Could you suggest a double barrelled surname ? Me and OH are doing this , i want him to always be a part of my baby's life even if we were to split up

Mark&Annie

My boyfriend has a daughter from a previous relationship (totally dif situ as they were together only 8 weeks, split, then she informed him she was having his child).

They have a great relationship, names don't matter in the scheme of things, she knows who her daddy is and thats not going to change. If your ex is changing her mind etc, unfortunately theres nothing you can do. My advice from our experience is don't rock the boat, she holds all the cards so if you want to be as involved as you can in your daughters life stay strong xxx

Pricey

Can I still have half the rights on the birth certificate if it's not my name?

blackrose

http://www.eumom.com/ie/section.asp?id=10&sessionID={8926F5A5-705E-4F94-95F0-8D57E396894D}

This link may help explain your rights , I know its a mum's forum but it explains dad's rights too

lou_w34

Our situations are slightly different, as my ex doesnt care and has buggered off, so i am giving baby my surname. But to be honest, even if i was with my ex, i would still give baby my surname, or double barrel her name. I dont really understand why dads automatically assume that a baby should have their surname, is it just because its tradition?? After all, mothers have just as much right for a baby to have their surname as a father does. Hope that doesnt come across as me sounding horrible... its just my opinion

As for the BC it doesnt matter what your daughter is called, as long as your name is on it, you still have half parental responsibility. Hope that helps

EmzyMathRuby

my son has my surname but his dad is on the birth cert so he does have parental rights.Hope this helps x

xTaylorsMummy

both my little ones have mine and there dads last name.. dickinson-hill. But they only use dickinson. Iv choosen to do this because if we brake up they willl then use hill [my last name]. And at least if i get married to someone else we wont all have diffrent names. But i did say if me and OH do marry i will change there birth certificuit [cnt spell] to dickinson.