Hey, I have a problem and need some advice... Me and My husband have been planning on keeping my pregnancy on a low key until my first doctors appt. just to make sure everything is ok.. had some bad expierences in the past and didnt want to tell anyone... i think my mother in law was actually eavesdropping and heard that i was and went and told everyone and denies it lol and everyone said she said soemthing... is it wrong for me to feel upset toward her because I dont know how to tell her how i feel without her getting mad
it's your pregnancy and you and OH's decision when you are ready to tell people and understandably whether you had bad experiences or not in the past.
Your MIL had no right to tell everyone. I would simply sit her down and tell her you know that she has told everyone and that she had no right to tell people your news and that you had wanted it to be private for a reason.
Don't go mad at her but make her feel guilty and don't feel guilty for being upset.
Regardless, congratulations and a happy healthy 9 months to you xxxx
Oh my she really had no right to do that & I think she should know it ... & denying it well how old is she? *sigh*
I think I would refrain from having a pop at her but as Steph ssuggested certainly make her feel guilty. That is wrong & the excitement of telling people yourself has just been snapped away so tbh I don't know how you have & will keep your cool - She'd have no right to be mad!
paint her face on a pillow and beat the feathers out of it!
Ok on a serious note you should say something to her. If she continues to deny it, ignore her, state your case and then don't bring it up with her again. After you have done that I'm sure she will be thinking about it for a long time. Can your DH intervene?
ladies you are making me feel betetr already i actually had a dream i beat her up and when i woke up laughing my husband was like whats wrong i said i kicked your moms butt he started to laugh.... Me and my hubby own a hosue and she actually lives upstairs so when her grandkids leave i am going up there... as for how old she is shes about 50 going on 12 shes got a few loose screws or she drinks undercover....my hubby doent want to intervene because hes afraid of blowing up on her for other things too....
A similar thing happend with my MIL, infact I don't tell her anything I don't want other people not to know anymore.......I don't think she can hold her own piss TBH!!
My OH & I decided that our mums would be the first to know that we're expecting! It was quite early on when we told them (about 6-8 weeks ish)
We got them together & told them & they were rly happy but we asked them not to say anything to ANYONE as we wanted to tell people in our own time & when we were ready!
So anyway about a week later me & OH were in the Supermarket car park (as it was winter it was dark & cold and I had a massive winter coat on!) we bump in to MIL's friend Julie, she's asking how we are ect and she kept looking at me funny & smirking (I just thought she was a ltl strange). Said bye and off we went to do our shopping!
A few days later MIL invited us around for dinner and said julie was coming with her 2 kids! When we get there......there's no Julie so I ask were she is and MIL say's oh she called to say her kids are sick so she's staying at home with them! Fair Enough!
Another few days later she's talking to me and she says 'Oh Julie seen you and Chris (my OH) at the Supermarket she asked me if you were PG & I couldn't lie to her I went red, she said she could tell by your tummy'.......umm, It was dark & I had a massive coat on!? Anyway I thought ok I'll not say anything (some people do have a knack of guessing)!
Another few days later we go around to MIL's for tea & she's had a few drinks and she starts talking about how hard it is to keep it under wraps & says......I had to tell someone, I told Julie! So I say 'you said she guessed when she seen us?' and she goes 'No she already knew, I'd told her a couple of days after you told me and she didn't come for tea cos her kids had Chicken Pox' so she said she best stay at home if you were coming around!'
I was really pissed off! I told OH we're not telling her anything anymore! There's my mum bursting to tell someone and she dsnt tell a sole!
We also told BIL & his G/F and his G/F can't hold her own either as far as I know she told my OH's auntie & her cousin (who know me as I work with her!) She denys it of course!
A MIL's job is to eavesdrop and/or tell people everything you dnt want them to know!
As already said, don't go mad at her and make it a bigger problem than it needs to be, but how immature must she be to tell everyone your business in the first place??
You just need to explain that she has really hurt you and that you were wanting to keep it secret for now. Maybe she didn't realise what she was saying and was probably just excited.
I like Mango's idea of painting her face on a pillow if you really need to let some anger out. You can even dig a hole and bury the pillow or burn it, but I'd write the action you hated on the pillow signifying death of that hurt, and not death of your MIL.
I understand the pain your MIL has caused. This is my third pregnancy, and know how inconsiderate some people can be, but I've also grown alot too since my first bub.
However, this is exciting news even if things do go wrong, so don't blame her for getting carried away. I have a mother who denies doing things when she knows she's wrong, but she's still a loving caring mum. I don't think any further confrontations with these kinds of people help anybody, and you only risk getting more upset, and stressed, which I'd hate to find causing trouble with this pregnancy too. These people will just never understand you, but it doesn't mean they don't love you in their own way.
I recommend you try to find some peace withing yourself and release that resentment in a positive manner like this forum. I'm sure she didn't mean any harm.
Remember the love, and not the faults. We all have faults, and if you can't learn to forgive, it will eventually turn around and bite you on the rear.
Good luck with this pregnancy and your MIL.
Status: Offline
Join the community! Register your FREE account to remove these ads!
and don't feel guilty for being upset.
& the excitement of telling people yourself has just been snapped away so tbh I don't know how you have & will keep your cool - She'd have no right to be mad!
Made me chuckle!
You can even dig a hole and bury the pillow or burn it, but I'd write the action you hated on the pillow signifying death of that hurt, and not death of your MIL.
Linear Mode
