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 Forum - Family, home & financial issues can sometimes become a burden, let off some steam & seek some friendly advice from others. This thread is called '

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Old Oct 23rd, 2007, 03:54 AM   #11
Sev
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Resentment


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lil_Baby_Boo View Post
Hi Nikole,

A similar thing happend with my MIL, infact I don't tell her anything I don't want other people not to know anymore.......I don't think she can hold her own piss TBH!!

My OH & I decided that our mums would be the first to know that we're expecting! It was quite early on when we told them (about 6-8 weeks ish)

We got them together & told them & they were rly happy but we asked them not to say anything to ANYONE as we wanted to tell people in our own time & when we were ready!

So anyway about a week later me & OH were in the Supermarket car park (as it was winter it was dark & cold and I had a massive winter coat on!) we bump in to MIL's friend Julie, she's asking how we are ect and she kept looking at me funny & smirking (I just thought she was a ltl strange). Said bye and off we went to do our shopping!

A few days later MIL invited us around for dinner and said julie was coming with her 2 kids! When we get there......there's no Julie so I ask were she is and MIL say's oh she called to say her kids are sick so she's staying at home with them! Fair Enough!
Another few days later she's talking to me and she says 'Oh Julie seen you and Chris (my OH) at the Supermarket she asked me if you were PG & I couldn't lie to her I went red, she said she could tell by your tummy'.......umm, It was dark & I had a massive coat on!? Anyway I thought ok I'll not say anything (some people do have a knack of guessing)!

Another few days later we go around to MIL's for tea & she's had a few drinks and she starts talking about how hard it is to keep it under wraps & says......I had to tell someone, I told Julie! So I say 'you said she guessed when she seen us?' and she goes 'No she already knew, I'd told her a couple of days after you told me and she didn't come for tea cos her kids had Chicken Pox' so she said she best stay at home if you were coming around!'

I was really pissed off! I told OH we're not telling her anything anymore! There's my mum bursting to tell someone and she dsnt tell a sole!

We also told BIL & his G/F and his G/F can't hold her own either as far as I know she told my OH's auntie & her cousin (who know me as I work with her!) She denys it of course!

A MIL's job is to eavesdrop and/or tell people everything you dnt want them to know!

DON'T TELL THEM ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING EVER!!!


Dear Lil_Baby_Boo,

It seems you deserve some congrats on the birth of your baby. Now more than one year old, if I got that right?

It's sad to see you are still holding on to that pain after (I'm guessing 2 yrs).

I also suffered stress from other people's thoughtlessness when I had my first kid (and my second one too). It's taken about 10 years to understand how important it should have been to get help immediately, and not harbour it.

All my stresses piled up. I rebelled at 28 yrs. My marriage broke down and I suffered post traumatic stress disorder after being bashed at work. All the stresses in my life kept piling up and it didn't get dealt with until it caused a physical and mental breakdown, to the point of unintentional suicidal actions.

I wish I had understood the importance of asking for professional psychiatric help immediately.... Maybe, my first marriage could have stood a better chance.

Take care

Last edited by Sev; Oct 23rd, 2007 at 03:59 AM. Reason: psychological to psychiatric
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Old Oct 23rd, 2007, 12:22 PM   #12
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I kept my pregnancy secret of my family until I was 14 weeks and had my first scan!

visually that wasn't a problem, as they are all living in Germany!

but I really wanted to be sure I can keep the baby (although I never had a misscarriage, i was really afraid of having one!!!) before I tell anybody about my pregancy!

a misscarriage would have been the worst for me and in this situation I wouldn't have wanted to listen to any kind of comments regardless what in relation to it!

it would have been enough for me to deal with myself!!!

I think your mother in law did not act very sensitive, but on the other hand she probably was getting to happy herself that she just could not keep the news for herself!

try not to be angry with her and sit down and explain her your feelings!
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