Sparky0207

As some of you may know, in the early-ish days of our relationship, my OH cheated on me with someone I had classed as a friend. When we made the decision 4 months later to get back together, I wanted to know every little detail about their relationship, in order to decide whether or not I could get over it and whether we could work at giving it another go. So, he told me. Some things I absolutely hated hearing and others werent as bad as I had imagined.
Only now I have found out that a few things he told me were lies and there was in fact a lot more to their relationship than I had previously thought.
I am an incredibly jealous person and the whole reason I put myself through hearing what had gone on with them and how he had cheated on me was to decide if I could get over it and move on. Now that I know he lied to me (to be fair to him it was probably to try and protect my feelings) I feel like I cant trust him again and need to know what happened.
Should I ask him and drag up the past or try and ignore it although I know it will eat me up in the long run?

Ema

Personnally if it was me....I would talk to him about it. But not confront him. I would bring it up just to get it out in the open. Even if you dont talk about it but just so he knows you know and how you feel, then leave it and if he wants to talk about it then do if not leave it in the past. But then at least it off your chest and if you have any questions you can ask him.

Remember hun you got baba on the way and he loves YOU! Not the past. Look to the future and the life you have together with your baba.

XXXX

wilbrabeany

Def agree with what ema said you do need talk to him because its going to eat you up regardless if you dont. Good luck.xx

LucyS

As others, look forward although easier said than done.

I have my suspicions OH cheated whilst I was pregnant but he denies it totally and I've found it so hard to save our relationship since but everybody keeps telling me he couldn't keep up the lie this long blah blah.

Sparky0207

Thanks girls.
The person that told me a few extra bits was his sister, who I get on well with and she would have absolutely no reason to lie. If I had heard it from almost anyone else then I wouldnt have believed them, but because it was her I do. OH made me believe that the girl was just company for him and that he it was never anything serious, he wasnt into her at all and only stayed with her for so long because I hadnt wanted him. His sis has told me they were really into eachother, spent every day and night together and implied that he had been seeing her long before I found out. She also told me that OH really wanted this girl back after they split up and was constantly texting her and on the phone to her and that she often went round to his house 'to try and sort things out' after we had got back together.
I dont want to be second best I thought he had worked so hard to get me back because he loved me, not because he couldnt have her. Its really upset me.
Ive just sent him a text asking if we can have a talk when he gets home as a few things have come to light and I want to set the record straight but im not sure if it will open up a can of worms.

Ema

But isnt it best to know??? I know its hard. And want to give you big

But would you rather not know and keep thinking this for the rest of your lives. Or talk about it now before baba arrives and start fresh when baba gets here??

XXX

Sparky0207

I definitely want to know now!
But as stupid as it sounds im dreading the answer! What if he turns round and says he was really into her and the only reason he came back to me was because he couldnt have her? Then what will I do?! But also if he says that he wasnt really into her and maintains his previous story that he didnt see her often etc... I'll know hes lying! There cant be a good result in this! Either I'll get hurt or I'll know hes lying! Why cant it be more simple?!

Ema

Im not sure i can answer any of them questions. Because he cheated in the first place, there are always going to be what if's after that. What if he does it again...etc etc.

I think you need to keep an open mind right now. Until you've spoken to him. Maybe he was telling you the truth and just shadowing a bit of it to save hurting you. Or maybe he lied completely.

Try not to stress to much think of baba. Hopefully you'll get the answer you want tonight. What time is he home to speak to you?? Hopefully soon so your not stressing all day XXX

LucyS

I will never know the truth either which hurts as I know he's lied loads in the past about other things to not hurt my feelings so I really believe he did it

Sparky0207

Thanks hun. Hes not home til 6! Im trying not to stress out and I wont get into a big argument with him about it but I really need to know the truth! I find it hard to trust him anyway and although I really dont think he would cheat again, it would hurt so much if I thought it was her he wanted all along.
I think half of it comes down to self confidence, she is the total opposite of me so im thinking if he wants/wanted someone so different, why is he with me? Im short, not overweight but not thin, blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin and I like to think im quite a genuine, down to earth person. She is over 6ft tall, skinny as a rake, dark hair and eyes and really tanned skin. Everyone calls her a plastic as she is fake as can be and all about image. She has done some modelling too (although shes not pretty she has a nice body)
Must speak to him, going insane!