susiewusie

My ex wants contact with josh, wish he would just leave us alone!

Well it's a long story but i will try and keep it short as poss.

Well i left my ex dec 2006, i got him arrested as he was violent through out my relationship with him but i finally saw sense and got police involved, i was with him for six years and he would use every kind of abuse to keep me trapped.

When i tryed to leave he ran off with josh had to get police to bring josh back, It was the worst day of my life.

However when i left i allowed him contact with josh on the weekend then i find out off social worker that his mam's boyfriend is a registered child affender, (My ex moved back with his mam when we broke up so when josh stayed he stayed there.) and his mam knew he boyfriend was a registered affender and didn't think anything of it to tell me or stop her grandson going to hers when he's there stupid b***h,

My ex swore he didn't know so i allowed him to see josh at soft play and things like that but was told not to take him to his mam's which he did on several occasions, so when i found out i said the only way he could see him was at my mams with my mam there (as he is not allowed to contact me at all, so i couldn't be there)

So he started going to my mams for contact, then he started coming late and not coming at all, then he rang social services and said my mam & dad had josh out after 9pm and he was concerned, social worker just laughed it off but my mam &dad were fuming after they were helping him see his son and so the contact stopped ther in october.

And now all of a sudden i have a solicitors letter saying he wants regular contact.

missjess

Sorry hun... I don't really know what to say, just wanna give you a big big

orange-sox

Only you know what's right for Josh, he needs to realise that all his past acts of selfishness and malice will be taken into account if this goes to family court.

trickysgurl

Well here in my state he would never be allowed contact after his violent past with u and for sure after the child offender thing and he would have went to jail for child endangerment for takin the child to his moms house with that creep there after bein told not to. I say fight that loser.. Never let him near ur lil angel.. It wouldnt be hard to prove that he is unfit and a danger to ur child!!! Let me kno whats goin on as it happens!

susiewusie

He's also trying for parental responsibility which he is not getting

alyxzandra

First, I want to say good on you for breaking away from such a situation. That took a lot of strength and courage. There are many women (and men) who stay in it and either get killed or have their spirit sapped away. It is also terrible for the children because they see this behaviour and it has a negative impact. You did the right thing and all I can say is you go, girl!

Now, onto the rest: I think you may wish to seek legal advice. Personally, I would not allow him contact for several reasons:

1) His violent past, which I am sure has had some sort of effect of your son. It has only been 6-7 months since you left.

2) He brought your son into danger. Even if he did not know about the mother's boyfriend's past, he did not take due care as to who his son is around. And even after he knew of it he still brought your son there after you specifically told him not to.

3) He took off with your son after you tried to leave. Thus, he is using your son as a pawn then and still is.

4) He did not show up when he was supposed to at your mother's home and then tried to create problems.

I believe he is still trying to use your son in order to get back at you. It is another way to control you. Since you are a victim of domestic violence, you can see what support you can get from Women's Aid. My friend is dealing with a similar issue, but she will only allow visitation with her daughter in an approved facility and it has to be arranged through the court. But, I believe she also had the option of not allowing her ex to see their daughter. He has not bothered and she is leaning towards him not seeing his daughter again. So, I believe you may have this sort of remedy.

At the end of the day, your first duty is towards your son. In my opinion, your ex gave up all rights as a father when he decided to not act like one.

Blob

Yea i agree you need to get some legal advice, does your son want to see him? I know it normally doesnt work until children are slightly older but if he is insistent that he doesnt want to have any contact with his dad then he cant be forced. I know one of my friends sons (also a josh ) refuses to see his dad and what they have been through is mental, out of a horror movie mental. But anyway i would def get some legal advice, there will be certain things that you can do to keep him away from your son.
Good Luck

carries

HUn, get to a solicitor to get some advice. There are a group of people appointed by the Court called CAFCASS who would need to assess the situation and write a report before any contact should be allowed. There should also be a contact centre that can be utlised so that you and your family can avoid seeing him at all costs.

Unfortuantly him being a knob, even a domestically violent knob doesnt mean he wont get some contact . It will needs to be shown by him he is not a risk to your son and it will move on from there. In relation to PR there is a 'test' which requires him to show sufficient commitment' before it will be ordered. This is rarely refused by a court however it doesnt give him as much right as you might think it does.

Find a solicitor that will do a free half hour or look for a local law centre. All the best hun, chin up!

Tilly

Nothing more to add...

Sorry to hear you're going through this

susiewusie

Been to solicitors and they advised that i could refuse contact point blank but if he took me to court he would prob get contact, so they advised i could agree to contact in a contact centre, and then if he refuses that and takes me to court it will look like i was trying and he's not.

I agreed to that and the solicitors wrote to his and informed them of my decision but said contact couldn't start straight away as i have just giving birth and need time to get sorted.

The only thing is i have moved once as he found out where i lived, and when he gets contact josh will prob tell him as he's a chatter box lol