bexy_22

Ok so my OH has got a new job that starts in September but it's in Central Lancashire which from where we live now is about just over an hours drive. From where we are the motorway is about 15-20 minutes drive. But he is worried about his car making the commute everyday as it's already on it's last legs and although he gets money of the company for a car he won't be able to get one until a month or so after he starts the job and so would have to use his other car and he doesn't want us to move to Lancashire as it's so far away from my family and with bubs on the way they're one of my main means of support.

So anyway he wants to move nearer to the motorway to knock some time off his journey, however where he wants to move to, although it's a lovely place, it's very out of the way and not easily accessible plus it's only actually 10 minutes away from where we live now.

This flat is so lovely, not like your average first time flat and it's a minutes walk from the town centre and it's handy for everything including supermarkets, the bus station and my doctors. And although I wouldn't object to moving to Lancashire if I had too as it would make more sense I don't know whether it's such a good idea to move from here as we would be moving at the start of September when bubs will just be 2 months old, so I'll still be adjusting to that, plus OH has to spend a week in London at the start of September.

I just don't think that the stress of moving to a completely new place with a newborn baby is reasonable. OH will be at work most of the time so it won't be him that's stuck there day after day trying to unpack and sort things whilst trying to look after a 2 month old baby.

Thing is he's contradicted himself because when my family ask why I'm moving he's like, well it's not like it's much further for them to come. So if that's the case what's the point in moving in the first place?

I just don't think the stress of moving, especially with a baby that will have a routine that will probably be interupted because of a move just because it takes off 20 minutes on his journey is a good idea.

Sorry this is so long and thank you very much if you've read it all! I just know that if I try and talk to him he'll wear me down in the end because he always has an answer to everything and then he'll start getting ratty with me. I would really appreciate any thoughts

xx

toriaaaaTRASH

I know this sounds really silly, but have you tried writing him a letter or something? He can't answer back to a letter.

bexy_22

Lol I always write a letter when I don't want to say something to his face. I feel like I'm being unreasonable

babezone

i totally understand where ya coming from...and the thin is the fact that its only knockin like 15mins of his jounry isnt even worth it....im sure he can get up 15mins earlier and the car will last 15mins more....personally i dont see the point. your not gaining anything apart from 15mins xxx

bexy_22

Nobody else got any thoughts??

fifi83

Me personally I wouldnt move, i think you need to explain to him what you have said in your first post, 20 mins to me doesnt justify the negatives of the move. Good Luck, talk to him x

Emmea12uk

i agree with you. knocking ten mins of the journey isnt worth uprooting a new family. A month isnt long, and if he is successful in his new job, you could look at moving when he is settled there. To up and move just for the sake of ten minutes at the beginning of a career is a bit silly, even without babs.

Tell him not to rush into things, to see how it goes first. Not every new job works out a expected.

ladymilly

i agree hun

tb42

i do the same with OH when it comes to discussing something that last more than 5 minutes ( men don;t listen)
I write letters or emails which make him read until the end and get the message. Usually i do that when we have to discuss about MIL. ( the most difficult part of our relationship )
PS: when i write emails , i also have to tell him to read it, it might take too many days before he gets the message and i don't like to wait

orange-sox

Well, I've had a long think about this, and I don't think your OH understands the impact that this move will have on you and your baby. Whilst it may knock 15 mins off his journey (it takes me that long to decide if i'm going to have coffee or tea for goodness sake), it would make life a whole lot more difficult for you. He's not going to be the one covering all the day to day tasks, taking the LO to the doctors, negotiating the shopping with the LO in tow. I think he's being all together very selfish.

Just to echo what everyone else has said, try writing him a letter hun, and then popping out for a bit... tell him to read it, think about it, and ring you when he's done and you'll come back and talk. If he asks why, tell him what you've told us... you don't feel like you can communicate with him when you talk because he won't listen, or will interupt.

I hope it goes well for you hun