doumauk

Your not a bad person, your entitled to your opinion as is everyone else.
I only agree with abortion if it is for medical reasons. e.g the health of the mother is at risk or the quality of life for the baby will not be good.

My cousin is 27 and just recently found out she is pregnant and is having an abortion next week due to 'not being ready for a baby'. She has already had countless abortions in the past and it makes my blood boil that at 27 she isnt responsible enough to use protection.
Im not in the best position to have a child due to my husband still living across the other side of the world and financially but there is ways and means of coping.
But I can also see that adoption isnt easy on both sides and not right for everyone.
Its one of those topics that could go round and round. As sad as it is, its one of those things that people take advantage of and use it like the morning after pill.

turbo_mom

Thank you so much for your replies everyone. I know it's a tough subject to talk about and I hope that no one takes offense to it.
I can't beleive people can get an abortion up to 24 weeks! If you're going to go that long you might as well just keep it. Angel was born at 24 weeks and is still alive. Babies are viable at that gestation. So sad

But my friend is almost 30 and is a pretty stable mom. She makes good money at her job although lives in an assisted living complex. So I definetely beleive she's capable financially. In my own opinion as I know her very well she's very selfish. I think she doesn't want to keep the baby because it would just be another burden to her like her two other children. She would rather spend all of her waking hours with her boyfriend. Both of her kids are at her moms most of the week.
In my opinion she has no reasons to get an abortion other than her being selfish. She is old enough to know to use protection and to live with the consequences.

And I think abortion is ok in certain circumstances. But in most I think that alot of poeple could learn to cope, and learn to love a child. Most people arn't aware of how much having a baby changes you (mostly for the good).

Anyways I don't want to press the subject anymore i'm sorry to anyone that has been offended or taken it the wrong way. That was not my intention with this thread. I just wanted to know if anyone else would feel the same way as me because I don't want to feel like a heartless bitch!

But I am very excited for my baby shower tomorrow. Ther isn't going to be alot of people but the ones who matter will be there

Elli21

I dont think your a heartless bitch at all...And i fully understand your opinions I guess the jist of my post was that maybe things about hot topics could have some kind of warning in the title
Glad your looking forward to your shower, i hope you have a fantastic time.

Freya

Ahhhh, it's an emotive topic alright and we all have an opinion.... My head tells me not to post anything on this thread, but I can't help it...

I disagree with most of the posts here. I am pro-choice and respect all women's right to choose. I personally wouldn't forbid an invited guest to come to a shower on that basis, but we are different people, with different views and responses to such. Perhaps there are cirumstances that you are not aware of, that wont make you change your opionion per se, but may assist your understanding of 'why'.

During my miscarriage one of my good friends chose to terminate her pregancy in the early stages. I never once judged her, although questioned life's 'design' in relation to our situations.

I think we all may be suprised at how many female friends/relatives in our lives have had early terminations..... because if somone has had an abortion.... it had no doubt been a difficult and traumatic decision and they wont be shouting about it!

Each to their own... but judging people doesn't help anyone, certainly not the person going through with the termination. Perhaps they may be better 'guided' if you kept them in your life and you carried on being a good friend to them?

alyxzandra

I agree with you. I am also pro-life, but can also speak from the perspective of having had two abortions when I was a teenager (age 13 from a rape and 17). I did not want to abort either of them, but was forced into it by my mother. Back then, there was no internet and ways to get information on alternatives to it. I remember even when I was 13 feeling it was morally wrong.

As a result of the second abortion, I was made infertile and went through infertility testing 7 years ago and was told I could not have children without IVF due to the damage it caused. However, by some miracle, I fell pregnant naturally at 39.

Some people do not like to use the word "kill" and prefer a more sanitized version of the word (e.g. terminate, abort), but in my view it is the taking of a life. I've had friends
who've had abortions because they did not use birth control. It used to really irk me when they did this because I knew I was unable to have children at that time. And I did say something to them about it. They were always a bit ashamed, but continued to do the same thing.

I also find it incomprehensible that someone would wait until the 24th week to abort as my grandma was born in 1928 one day into the 24th week, well before the medical technology we have today. She is now 79 years old.

So, I fully understand how you feel and would feel the same way in your shoes especially since it does not seem right she is in a stable relationship and does not seem to have looked into alternatives.

mickey

just wanted to add that I used the word "to kill" related to 24 weeks!!!

in my opinion this is just too late for an abortion!

I was shocked when I heard about this law!!! in my country it's only allowed until 12 weeks!

and to the quotation I've marked in red I wanted to add, that exactly this also might happen when someone aborts.

I would feel akward, if this person would be at my LO's babyshower!

mickey

turbo_mom's Angelynn was born premature @ 25 weeks! I saw the pictures she posted and Angelynn just looked like a baby (besides of all the medical equipment next to her!!!)
the thought of aborting so late just makes me feel sick

especially in her situation I can fully understand, she doesn't want to have this person @ Angelynn's babyshower!

Elli21

I agree that 24 weeks is too late to abort.
I also agree that in most circumstances, alot of people wont be able to understand why someone would abort like the person turbo_mom is talking about, but why should we have to understand?? Its her body, her life, her CHOICE.

turbo_mom

I'm not saying i'm kicking her out of my life completely. I just don't think I would feel very comfortable with her at my shower. I just want to enjoy my day without having those thoughts hanging over my head and pretending that I know nothing.

I am very dissapointed with her. I know it's her decision and everything and I will still be her friend. She's an adult though and has been through it before I would think that she would know better then to let it happen again. I can understand her reasons for the first termination though. I'm just sad thats all. She loves babies so much and she just seemed like the kind of girl that wouldn't do it again.

rae05

I'm pro life. If you want to have an abortion, that is your decision and I'm not going to judge you for it. However, myself, I would never have one.

I wouldn't invite her. It was her choice, but I wouldn't invite her. That isn't judging her, that is you reacting to a situation that will make you uncomfortable.