anita665

Well OH did go to the pub on Sunday but came back after only 45 mins and was very pleased with himself for doing so. It turns out he only came back early because his friend never showed up though.

We got into an argument as he was telling me how hard he works and if he wants to go to the pub he will and he said I have all the time in the world to myself up here looking after Pierre. Then he said I was accusing him of having an affair with one of our waitresses. The thought had never even crossed my mind. This came about because I asked if she was at the pub 2 weeks in a row.

On Monday we had a better day together. We went out and met up with some old friends. He was grumpy all day and even my mum kept asking if he was ok but he said he was just tired.

Then Tuesday happened. Again it had been a great day and he'd been much better towards me. I actually felt close to him again. That was until he told me his mum had called to tell him his brother was getting divorced. We knew this was coming even though they only got married this time last year.

This made OH decide that getting married next September was rushing it too much (we will have been engaged 2 1/2 years by then). He said it's like we are married now so what difference does it make. He also said that there are other factors to take into consideration like that my dad has cancer and has only been given 7 months. Really I don't see how that affects a wedding planned for in over a years time.

I calmly thought this through and took off my ring and put it in a box. I've told him I don't want it until he really means he wants to get married. He assures me he does but that we should have no set time. To me getting married is a big deal and you shouldn't be planning to if you think you need to leave it an indefinate amount of time to make sure it's not a mistake.

I'm really gutted. It felt like we were going to be a proper family. I only agreed to Pierre taking OH's last name without mine because I thought we were getting married soon.

Last night I commented on how my fingers felt bare without my rings on and he told me to put it back on but I didn't.

I love OH ans sometimes things feel fine between us but I have this constant feeling at the moment that things aren't quite right, no matter how much he says everything is fine. I don't know if it's hormones or if there really is something.

rae05

He sounds like he is being a downright idiot. I'm sorry he is acting this way. He sounds like he is avoiding having a conversation about what is really going on.

Kerryanne

Thats awful, i don't think it is your hormones.

I would be really pissed off, if my OH treated me like that, actually i would leave him.

Can you really go on like this ? You have yourself and your adoreable baby to think about, and its not nice what he's doing too you. He pulling you down ifswim.

And you do work hard, You have a baby, what does he think you sit on your bum all day!! I would be really insulted if anyone said that too me, i wish i could do that.

Hope your feeling ok

greenkat

It sounds like ur going through a really rough patch and I can tell ur trying hard to get things back on track. I think he should be making a lot more effort though - he doesn't seem to appreciate your role at all - looking after a baby is a full time job.

I don't know how it came up but that he thought you were accusing him of cheating and his reaction would make me consider if maybe he's being over defensive because he's got something to hide.

I hope things improve for you both - if I were him I'd propse to you again but doesn't sound like he's ready to get married?

Elli21

I really hope he sorts himself out hun...personally i dont think it is your hormones i think that he is acting weird.
I hope he comes to his senses..as right now the way hes treating you is totally unfair.
To say you have all the time you need whilst looking after a baby is silly, i take it he doesnt know that being a mum is a very hard job to do both physically and emotionally. You cant turn it off and go to the pub like he can.
If you need to rant or anything,feel free to PM me hun

TashaAndBump

Odd that he thought you thought he was having an affair with the waitress when you hadn't mentioned it... That would make me really worried that he was! I hope he's not...

Sounds like he is being a typical man and avoiding discussing what's going on inside his head / what he's feeling.

It's not your hormones, hun. I'm sorry things are hard at the moment x

lfc_sarah

ladymilly

oh hun you poor thing he is being such a shit. i really hope your ok

orange-sox

Argh! To mirror what everyone's said... what a shit! If I lived closer I'd come down and give him a slap for you!!

I share the same sentiments as you when it comes to marriage - you should only ask and plan when you are sure, not do what your OH has done and then break your heart in the process.

I dont really have any advice, but I can see what a tough time you're going through and I just wanted to give you a big and tell you that I'm thinking about you and your little man, and I hope you're both okay. You'll come through this as a much stronger person, no matter what the outcome is. Take care hun

Vickie