anita665

Which is the day OH often goes to the pub after work. With our issues with it last week (him not coming home till 5am totally drunk and ruining our only day off together after he promised not to) and the fact I keep telling him I'm worried about our relationship because he's seeming distand, I wonder if he will go tonight or whether for once he might stay in with Pierre and myself.

I've been worried about it for a couple of days now. Sounds silly I know but if he can't stay away from the pub I'm really going to have to reconcider things with him.

Every week I ask to spend time together and every week something else goes wrong or comes up. I asked him yesterday if he was going and he said he didn't think so. I calmly explained to him why I didn't want him to go so now I have to wait and see if he listened.

rae05

I really hope he does the right thing. If he does in fact go to the pub again tonight, then I would seriously consider packing up Pierre and going to stay somewhere else for a few days until he realizes you are serious. Not a threat, just a breather. Make him realize what life would be like without you if he keeps up his inconsiderate behaviour.

anita665

Well I just overheard him talking to someone saying he probably would be going to the pub.

I'm really upset, probably because I hate confrontation more than anything but I know I can't let him keep this up.

leeanne

This is ridiculous! He is obviously not taking your needs into consideration.
I would be pissed at him too!

leeanne

And I have to agree with your post!

Communication with him doesn't seem to work so maybe him coming home and seeing you have left just might!

anita665

Well I've just had a talk with him. He said the landlord phoned to say it was his birthday and thats why he's going. I told him there's always something but that I can't stop him from going. He just needs to decide whats more important.

Then I told him some other things I've been worried about. I said I honestly didn't think he loves me anymore and that things aren't working out. I've been so worried it's been making me feel sick.

He said he does still love me and nothings changed. He can't see what more he can do as he works such long hours and still takes Pierre for an hour or 2 in the evenings but that if he didn't love me, he'd tell me.

He also said he's only been to the pub 2 or 3 times since Pierre has been here - which is true but it's that along side that there is always other things too like meetings or that he had a drink here with everyone instead. I said I would have thought the fact that we haven't had a single proper day being just the 3 of us since he was born would make him make the effort.

At least I know he still loves me but I think he's still going to go to the pub tonight. I really don't know what to do.

Faerie

I agree with Rae, is there someone you can stay with just so you feel like you're having some time where you're not sitting around waiting for him? Sorry he's being like this hun

Elli21

Im sorry hes acting this way hun...sometimes men need a shock into realising they are acting with no consideration towards others.

orange-sox

Oh hun

I don't really have much advise for you, but I couldn't read and run.

He needs to realise that even though he works long hours, so do you because you have the hardest job in the world - being a mother. I think men need a big wake up call to what really being a proactive father involves, not just sitting with your children for a few hours a night, but actually spending quality time as a family.

Hold on in there hun, like rae said, do you have anywhere you could go stay for a few days, just so he realises that you can't cope with the way he's treating you?

That said, I've been reading some of your other threads and I personally think your OH is a bit of a shit, maybe if you went away for a few days and got your head straight and then had a talk with him without Pierre around, try and get him to understand things from your point of view?

ladymilly

oh hun i think you need to shock him like the others said. that might be the only way he will realise how this is affecting you