gemma24uk

im sure your both just feeling a little pressure from new little man in your lives, it really is hard at this time, but for your oh to say u hurt him is not right at all, my little girl scratched her face all the time, and newborns do scream alot for no reason, hey chin up hunny u dont want little mister to know mamas upset best of luck xxxxx

anita665

It sounds like you're having a really rough time at the moment. I hope things improve for you soon. I think I'm going to have to start to speak up a bit more. I know he has issues. The more he see's he's upsetting me the more he does it.

Moulder86

How could he even think about something like that? I'm sure he doesn't mean it and just having a few issues dealing with everything himself. I really hope that things get better and he realises what a twat hes being. Big

xx

Vickie

Sounds like he's having a really tough time adjusting, but that doesn't give him the right to take things out on you. You're a great mother, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Elli21

Anita, you and me need to get together hun, my OH is a shit like that too!!! (im from norfolk too!!)

But you know what i do when hubs says im doing things wrong or that whatever i do do isnt good enough, i say fine ... you do it...and i wont help him until he begs for it..that way they learn to fucking shut up!!
Its been a long while now since he has done it to me and made me cry, but he does still dig at me all the time but now..he knows that i do do my best and wtf more can i do than that??

Im sure your a good mum hun and dont let him put you down! Men dont understand when it comes to breastfeeding...

welshcakes79

awww sweetie
sorry your having such a rough time at home,
it is hard adapting to being a parent but its not right what you OH is saying to you,
your Pierre's mummy and you know how to warm bottle/run bath
its just when you have so little sleep and babba is playing you will question yourself its natural,
but you are a good mum, i know it seems like your not when OH critises but babies need clean bums, full tums and lots of cuddle which is what your doing..Oh should try to be more understanding, you had a rough time going back in after he was born..

XXX

Mamafy

What a huge knock to your confidence When things are calm I would bring it up by saying how hurt you felt by his accusations and how demeaning it is for someone to continually knock your ability to care for your son...you have to tell him straight hun..

Newt

awwwww hun I am so sorry, what a horrid day. I wish I could give you a massive hug and make you a nice cup of tea. I agree with what the girls said previous, you need support and love not to feel like your being scrutinized.

TashaAndBump

MrBum sometimes gets concerned about me and Anna, and will suggest things like "have you tried burping her, have you changed her napppy?" This does sometimes annoy the heck out of me, but deep down even though I feel like he may be interfering more than the proverbial motherinlaw, I know that all he is trying to do is help me find a solution... Could it be that this is what your OH is trying to do, but sounds like he doesn't know how to express himself very well so it comes across as plain criticism - He doesn't seem to think he is criticising you, and thinks that he support you, right?

Perhaps a discussion, of explaining (in terms that don't sound accusing or criticising...) that when he comments on what you are doing, it sometimes makes you feel inadequate, and like he does not trust you as a parent. Ask him if he does trust you if you like - but try to keep the conversation focused on your feelings rather than his actions to avoid another barny... Explain also that you are a new mum, and you need to feel your way around to learn how it all works etc.

I feel for you right now. This must be really tough. I know how much it must have really stung to be accused ot hurting your precious baby, but for the sake of keeping the peace I think I would let that one drop at having told him you did not, as bringing it back up will only cause more arguments. I think he was bang out of order on that one, but bringing it back up will sadly do more harm than good I suspect...

I think that your OH just loves your new baby so much, and feels so protective of her... I suspect he's just being a typical man and having difficulty expressing his emotions.

Big I hope you resolve things soon, hun. Take care x

Redhorse xxx

Oh sweetie, you have been in the wars!

Personally, he sounds just like my ex. He was full of brilliant moral standards about how I should bring up our baby. I'm sorry to be so blunt,(I don't do airyfairy stuff) but your husband is being a BULLY and there is just no excuse for it- it's just bullshit that he might perhaps think he is 'supporting' you!. How dare he sit there and make more demands on you. If he is so fucking clever, perhaps he can grow milk glands and breast feed. He sounds like HE needs to grow up and stop acting like an attention seeking child himself...

To me it sounds like his jealous of the bond between you and your baby. He needs to back the hell up and start actually supporting you and not making life so blasted difficult.

Who died and made him god? Sorry to sound harsh, but you've just given birth- you're sleep deprived, your hormones are all over the place and he kicks you repeatedly whilst you're down and HE IS WORRIED ABOUT A BOOK HE LOST- build a fucking bridge and get over it man!. How in any way can that be construed as ok?. I agree, go stay with relatives for a week, get some rest and tell him that some time on his own might do him some good.

You sound like a BRILLIANT Mum who would never hurt her baby, so don't take the crap hun and tell him to back off. He needs to manage his own stress and start enjoying your baby WITH you, not accusing you of hurting him! WTF?

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Redhorse xxx