Gems

I have just gone in to my OH's email (he doesnt know i know his password). And a mate of his has sent him a load of pictures from my OH's stag do (he has been married before, his wife had an affair and left him)
Most were of him laughing and drunk and naked(hmmm) but i still got this horrible feeling in my tummy. I know most people have some sort of baggage but i get so jealous knowing he has been married before. Especially as he has told me he doesnt want to marry me, apparently buying a house and having a baby is enough commitment to show he loves me ?!?!? hmmmm

Why did i look coz im sat here at work all wound up about it now ???

bexy_22

Advice of the day: NEVER look in your OH's emails. lol Obviously a bit late now. I've gone through my OH's and found emails to a certain someone which I should not have read (long story, not gonna go into it)

Sorry you had to see this hun, I wouldn't get worked up about it though as it was in the past

Spartacus

Oh babe never look at your oh's emails I have learnt that one not because my hubby as every done anything sinister it is just that you can misconstrue everything in only the way us women can do!

There is nothing to worry about with these photos it is just typical boys on a stag do with naked pics of them being silly!!

On the note of saying he didn't want to marry you well he is and that is a sure sign that he loves you hun as he has obviously been burnt before so I can imagine he has reservations but he is obviously doing it cos he loves ya and if that makes you happy it makes him happy

now make sure when you see him later it doesn't show on your face that you have seen his stag do pics!! Or start probing questions...otherwise it just causes arguments just think that he loves ya and that is all that matters!

I hope you feeling better

Sparky0207

I agree with the others hun.

I have learnt from past experience that looking at OH's emails/text messages etc can never lead to good things! Everyone comes with baggage and there really is no point dragging up the past.

I understand how he feels about marriage, he has obviously been hurt in the past. He may well change his mind in the future - I never ever wanted to get married before this year (my parents have been married 6 times between them - hardly sets the best example) but then one day I realised that just because it hasnt gone well for others in the past, it isnt like that every time.

Hope you feel better soon hun, try not to think about it

Gems

Thanks girls ! I've certainly learnt my lesson and wont be looking again !!!

I'll blame my pregnancy hormones for blowing it all out of proportion !

Just had chocolate and it made me feel sooooo much better xxxxxxxxxxx

TashaAndBump

oh good - thank God for the power of chocolatey goodness, eh??

Think of it this way: At least you didn't find emails from another woman or anything like that! Just flashes from his past. He's not with his ex wife now, he's with you - and having your baby, and buying a house with you - that truly does say more about his comittment than a stupid piece of paper and a ring ever could!

I used to get really jellous of the relationship MrBum had with his ex. Especially as we knew each other before they broke up and I was a friend to him during the breakup - he was heartbroken - he thought she was the love of his life... they'd been trying for kids... That's really hard to try and live up to, and it'll drive you crazy trying. In the end (and I'm so glad I learnt this) I didn't have to live up to anything: Sophie was just Dominic's past, and he learned that he was wrong about her being the love of his life - because I am the love of his life! lol It's now ME who he has a baby with, me who he left his job and moved 200 miles away from home for... You need to look to your future together - never to his past. It's a waste of time and sure to hurt you over things that don't mean anything now.

I hope some of this makes sence or even makes you feel better x

clairebear

its hard now that u have looked at his emails hun.
unfortunately these things happened before he got invloved with u and most people have some degree of baggage and exs. sorry these emails upset u hun but u have to trust in ur relationship xxx

tb42

I went on my OH's email a couple of months ago and his ex ( left him about 10 years ago ) emailed him and said how upset she was seeing pictures of him married to another woman ( me) and moaning OH haven't replied her that often.
I usually go on his email to check business emails and customers's, try not to go on that email again ( tempting though )

GemGems

Oh please dont look at the emails again luv. Like the others say, that was his past, you are his future.
I've NEVER looked at my OH's phone or emails (i mean, i dont even know his passwords!) but i swear sometimes he thinks i have! For eg: he'll leave his phone on the table while he has a shower or something, most of the time i dont even realise its there, and he'll come dowm and jokingly probe "you been checking me out have you?" i just calmly sit there and say "i'm sure you wouldn't leave your phone lying about if you had something to hide and i'd never check up on you, i have no reason to". I know what you mean about ex's though. My OH was with his ex for 5-6 years and they were due to get married. I know that when they split up he still loved her for about a year even though he was with me! She was a psycho and most of their relationship was based on sex, she used it as a weapon. I always tried to live up to her at first but then i realised, why would i wanna do that? Thats why he's with me because he doesn't wanna be with someone like her.

Your OH loves you and you're gonna be a family. Just concentrate on that and forget about the past.

xxxx

Moraine

Well I guess I'm a little different because I would surely tell him I looked and then I would ask why he was naked.
I forbid my hubby from having a bachelor party, not because I thought he would do something bad, but because I don't trust his friends one bit. I sent him golfing instead lol!