cj2405

Hello

I hope you ladies don't think i'm out of order here,but i need to get an outsiders view

My sister text me yesterday, she is 25 and single, saying she is pregnant.

I was like wtf?! whose is it, and its some random guy she sees down the pubs and clubs, not someone she is in a relationship with etc.

The background to my concern is that she was casually seeing someone last year and fell pregnant by him, which she terminated.

She was totally gutted by this, and when i announced my pregnancy she wouldn't speak to me, as she was jealous.

To find she is now expecting a baby with a stranger is pretty hard to understand, and i question her motives... i know superbitch big sis!!

I spoke with her friend this morning, who says she had a coil, but had it removed. Madness, in know accidents happen etc even with contraception, but this need not have happened

She now seems to think it'll all be rosy, she'll move out of home, tell mum, everyone will be thrilled!

I am by no means telling her to have a termination, and I have been a single mum with someone i was in a relationship with, My concern is she has romantisised what having a baby means, especially with a stranger!!

How can i support her more?! i know i will but for now im thinking she's nuts!!

Hope this makes sense x

clairebear

just be there for her hun its a hard situation just be a shoulder for her to lean on x

cj2405

Oh there's no question there will be support. It just seems a shame at the moment she's got an unrealistic view on what her position will be!

Shes's trying to right the wrong i guess, well not worng but what in her eyes was the worst thing she ever did, but i don't think that having a baby with a stranger is what to do!

armychicmkm

I think most of us first timers have an unrealistic, romanticized idea of what having a baby is going to be like. I don't think there's really much you can do to help her. I understand you questioning her motives but you should probably keep that to yourself. At least for the time being. If you sister's like a lot of other people I've known - reality will set in and she will need all of the support you can give.

cj2405

I know armychick, I want to be impartial, but its so hard to watch someone do something you know's gonna hurt her! I guess she thinks cos ive been a single mum, and because i'm pregnant i have the answers. My concern may have come out wrong, but i was typing as it popped in my head!!

she seems to think i can protect her from mums wrath (thats not gonna be easy...cos it'll be explosive) but i also have a place i rent out, and she's asked me to get rid of my tenant so she can rent it!!

I would like to help in this respect, but i'm not sure if my husband will see me getting rid of a tenant who pays on time etc, for my sister as sense!

Isn't family fun!!!

armychicmkm

Oh yeah family's great! I want to strangle mine!

I think it's great that you're concerned about and want to support your sister. I would be careful about letting her lean too much on you though.

I can completely understand you husband not wanting to rent to your sister. You have a good paying tenant - you don't want to lose that! Over here there are tenant's rights. You're not allowed to just evict someone cuz you want your sister to move in. Don't know how it all works by you.

Maybe things like helping her find her own place, helping her find a job if she doesn't have one. Things where she will be able to stand on her own two feet when this baby does get here.

cupcake

i think the best thing you can do is just be there for her, she may have felt that her termination was a mistake and this is her chance to make up for it. you may be very right in saying she has a fantasized version of having a baby but you pointing it out will only make her mad at you, shes probably gonna realize it on her own and that when you can be there for her with some practical advice. Tell her if she has any questions or ever wants to talk about something you are there for her and that is okay to feel scared and have fears too. As for the tenant situation i really feel for you, all my instincts tell me that is not a good move for you. Mixing business and your family doesnt usually work and especially if you need this rent as income and have any fear with regards to her ablity to pay. You may even be able to say you cannot end the lease with tenant due to some legal things, i know thats not entirely true but you dont want to get into a mess about rent as it seems to me that will further complicate your relationship and put added strain.
Good luck hun, you are a normal, caring sister to be concerned about her.