anita665

Since having Pierre I've been feeling like me and OH have been drifting a bit. He never seemed happy when he spoke to me and rarely had anything to say. I had a chat with him and he assures me he's just tired from work.

After our chat he told me he was going to the pub after work. I agreed reluctantly that he should go. I just get a bit annoyed when he's been at work all day and I've been struggling with Pierre and I look forward to spending a bit of time together in the evenings. Still I knew he had today off so I said as long as he doesn't get too drunk or come back too late it's ok. I didn't want him ruining today with a hang over because we haven't had a proper day off - just the 2 (or 3) of us for well over a month due to his past hang overs, work meetings etc. He promised me he wouldn't be long as he was so tired anyway.

He came home at 5am!!

He's spent all of today so far either in bed or throwing up.

I'm getting so fed up I just don't know what to do. Todays been a lovely day and I had hoped we could take Pierre to the beach and then later resume our sex life since it's been at least 3 months!! Now none of that will be happening & I'll bet he'll be at the pub again next Sunday and be too tired and hung over next Monday.

Mamafy

so sorry to hear that hun, are you ok?

ladymilly

you poor thing. are you ok? he is being so unfair to you. I went through the same thing with my ex. he was constantly in the pub with his mates and i was left at home with the baby. he never asked if it was ok he would just say he was going and tell me he would be home early but always came home really late and drunk. Thankfully my OH now is fantastic. he is nothing like my ex. you should talk to him again hun and tell him you need his support too. he can't expect you to do everything and him go out getting pissed and spending the day in bed hungover. hope your ok hun

Ema

Men!! make me so angry...They never listen to the please dont get to drunk bit, all they ever hear is PUB PUB PUB!

Hope your okXXX

P.s if he throwing up maybe pay back and cook fish or something really awful for tea (i know a bit mean) but we have to get a little bit of pleasure from all there suffering X

anita665

I'm ok. He keeps saying he's sorry but he never learns! Before we moved here he hardly ever went to the pub.

One of the things that annoys me the most is that he goes with people from work. He works from 9am till 11 or midnight 5 days a week and from 2pm till midnight 1 day a week so he see's enough of them!! He see's me and our son for an hour in the morning and an hour or 2 in the evening and has only Mondays and Tuesday mornings off. Even then he's often going into the office.

anita665

lol good idea!

Mamafy

I would say to him that sorry is now not enough and that unless he starts showing a real effort that you & pierre are out of there. I am lucky in that my oh doesnt drink and I dont drink either, used to but then realised my mum was an alcoholic and realised effectively I could go down the same route and didnt want that for my children.

I really feel for you because I know drink can destroy families, he has a problem with alcohol because it is now effecting your relationship and family

Sending many hugs hun

leeanne

Sometimes men don't think. I'd like to know exactly what they do think in terms of them going out partying while the wife stays at home with the baby. Where is their mindset?

You know the saying, barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen? Some think that's just the way it should be.

JennyLynn512

I'm kind of having a hard time with this, too Anita. My OH doesn't go out drinking, but he does go out with his friends quite a lot and works late into the evening when he really doesn't need to. Therefore, I'm with Valerie all day, which I don't mind, but I would enjoy a little bit of a break now and then to get a few other things done. I'm the only one that cleans the house, does the laundry, does the dishes, pays the bills, everything of that nature...and I'm starting to get sick of it. I thought that he would be around more to spend time with Valerie, but frankly, I think he was around more when I was 6-7 months pregnant than he is now and I just don't think that is right. What really pisses me off is that he doesn't even get up anymore in the middle of the night when she wakes up or needs a changing. He gets in so late that he's exhausted and it all falls on me to get up and do everything.

I'm sorry to vent on your post, but I wanted to let you know that I sort of know how you are feeling! Hang in there and hopefully it will get better for both of us!

GemGems

I'm so sorry you're having a bad time of it.

I've just one thing to ask...............where the hell was he until 5am Monday morning???? Did he stay at a mates?

He really needs to be around more to support you and Pierre. If he keeps apologising and then does the same thing again, then he's not learning at all. Sometimes us women are too kind and patient for our own good. I knnow it's probably not ideal but maybe you should give him some sort of ultimatum? Or maybe go and stay with a parent or friend for a week? And if he askes why, just say that you need some help and support and you're not getting it from him so you need to be around someone that will.

Good luck. Have a chat and see how you get on