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Visiting Dad unsettles my son.

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Old May 15th, 2008, 22:00 PM   #1
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Visiting Dad unsettles my son.


My husband and I seperated at New year. He didn't see our son (18 months old) for the first 6 weeks of the year but since then he's seen him most Saturdays. When my son comes back to me after his time with his Dad he seems really unsettled- he doesn't want his bath, he cries when I put him in his cot for bed and so on. I'm sure it is unsettling for him not to see his Dad for very long and he's not able to communicate that so this is his way of showing me that he's not happy but I don't know what to do to help him.

My husband works away and I'd been staying in various hotels up and down the country with my son and husband since son was born so he's used to disruption and not seeing his Dad much. In the 6 weeks that he didn't see his Dad he started to sleep through the night, went to bed without crying and was generally happy and settled (all for the first time since he was born). Since he started seeing his Dad again that's all changed.

Has anyone else experienced that and does anyone have any advice about how to help him deal with this?
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Old May 16th, 2008, 08:32 AM   #2
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dont have any advice to give but sending you some
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Old May 16th, 2008, 13:18 PM   #3
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Separation is a hard time for a young one. And for young ones, since they can't communicate well, his way of perhaps saying he misses his dad is to scream and cry.

Is he happy when he sees his dad?

My OH and I were separated for about 5 months, starting when my daughter was 17 months old. She couldn't wait to see daddy, was excited to go with him, etc. but when he had her for the days that were his, she screamed and cried. It's their way of showing they don't like the situation. Although she was happy to be with her dad, I think she missed mommy too.

It's tough I know! Don't really have any advice other than to be patient and hope that it sorts itself out.
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Old May 16th, 2008, 21:18 PM   #4
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I really appreciate your hugs and thoughts.

He is usually happy to see his Dad and when I try to take him to give him a kiss goodbye he complains and grabs his Dad so that I can't take him. Today he cried when I left though. It's the first time and it was horrible leaving him. He settled quickly though.
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Old May 17th, 2008, 02:32 AM   #5
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Yes, it certainly seems to me that he is reacting like only young babes can do in the situation where mommy and daddy don't live together anymore. Perhaps as time goes on he will realize the routine of things.

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