ella170

well the other night my bf (or ex bf?) finally admitted to me on the phone that AFTER finding out that i was pregnant, he met some girl on myspace and met up with her, even though he insists that nothing happened, but he said he didnt like her, but he felt something for her. what really upsets me is that i needed him so much when i found out i was pregnant and i was so upset about it. he told me that he couldnt take it in and thats why he was talking to this other girl. i believe him that nothing happened between them (its a lonnng story) but i cant get over the fact that he met up with some other girl. i was crying on the phone tellin him that i would never have done anything like that to him, especially if he was going through something like what i was goin through and then he started crying too!
well my m8s have made it clear what they think of him after this. STUPIDLY, i went round his house yesterday just as "friends" and just played on the ps3. then, we started kissing and one thing led to another...
i had to lie to my m8s and tell them that nothing happened yesterday, because i know they will just call me a mug behind my back. would anyone else find it easy to take their bf back? i just really dont know what to do about it, if i get back with him then he will think that what he done is ok

Uvlollypop

i dont know what to suggest hun big hugs to you

nikky0907

Well,tehnically,he didn't cheat on you.

I mean,it's not good that he went on to meet some other girl,but the circumstances...You both are going through a rough time.
They don't say for nothing that a baby changes everything,you guys were clearly not ready,not as a couple,not as individuals,but now it happened and you can't really change it.

He's confused right now and honestly: the guy want an easy way out.Understandable.But he didn't do anything with this girl.Why?Because he knows it is wrong and he loves you.

So don't be too hard on him but don't be a mug either.You guys seriously need to talk about the baby issue,not pretend like it's not happening...

Alchemist

Firstly, its you who has to make the decision not your mates. if they are true friends they will stick by you no matter what.

secondly, i would sit down and have a heart to heart with him to see if you both see a future together and then either make it work or cut ties (at least for a while becuase the back and forth will drive you mad).

Get a good support system around you no matter what as you are having a baby and stress is not good.....

good luck honey

amy_tea

sorry you are going through a hard time right now. You need to do what you think is right and not try to please your mates or anyone else. It's yours and your babys future here

Rachel16+Bump

Heya ella, i know exactly what you mean. i do the same thing with my ex (bumps daddy) i go back to him with open arms no matter how many times hes hurt me + no matter how many times my mates/family tell me to stop fallin for his tricks, i guess its easier to forgive than forget with certain things like this.
One thing i can say is, dont lie to your mates because if they find out that you lied to them, will they understand why you did? (just a thought)

Big
P.m me if you ever need to talk x

ella170

yh i know that my m8s who have a bf will understand where im coming from with it. i understand tht if i get back with him i look like a complete prick infront of everyone, but u cant really give someone proper advice unless u have been through it urself. like when i found out i was pregnant, it was so easy for my m8s to tell me to have an abortion, but they wont understand it until they are pregnant themselves.
he knows what he did was wrong and tbh, im glad that he was honest with me. but tht still doesnt give him any excuses. arghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rachel16+Bump

Its good that you have mates who will understand you lyin to them! You will not look like a prick for gettin back with your babys dad, an anyone who says you are arent really worth listenin to.

Ino were your comin from on the whole 'cant give advice unless youve been through it' because at first my mates found it hard to take in that i was keepin bump an not 'takin the easy way out' by gettin an abortion, but they will understand when/if it happens to them until then, if they are your real mates they will stick by you no matter what bu if not then sod them, its your life an your baby, do what you feel will be better off for you + your lil baby growin inside of you.

True, that doesnt give him the right to do what he did an make excuses for himself but he has seen that what he done was wrong an i can tell he cares too because he told you what he had done, were as in my situation bumps daddy got scared an got a girl friend (who he has now been with for 7 months) i cant change the situation no matter how much i want to.
Girls are more mature than boys an we need to give them some time (without lettin them take the piss out of us!)

am ere if you ever need to talk about anything xxx

sweetsammi

Hi hun, firstly i understand where you are coming from and i'm sure i'd feel the same in your shoes, however technically he hasn't actually cheated on you. You gave him some huge news and that was his way of coping and coming to terms with the situation- maybe he was just confused, maybe he needed another female to talk to perhaps to make him realise which path he wants to take - you and baby, or package free! I know its an immature way but thats men for you.

The thing is, he could of left you for this other girl..but he didnt. Because he obviosilly knows what he'd lose out on otherwise! As for your mates, i am sure they are only lookin out for you as mates should but they are also being a little immature. If they truly care for you and being with this man is what you want then they should be happy for you. You shouldnt have to feel the need to lie to them.

Its not just about u and him now, theres a baby to think of who will need you both. The baby needs to come 1st no matter what. You two need to have a proper heart to heart and decide what you want. I also think you need to understand how big this is and know that things in both your lives are going to change dramatically and you'll both need to be very mature about the situation because without sounding awfull, you both sound like you need to do abit of growing up. But i hope you can both work it out for the 3 of you.

Good look and hugs to you hun. x

Marker

How old are you both if you dont mind me asking?

You both need to grow up, you are having a baby. You have both created a life and now, whether it be together or apart you have to support this baby. Messing about with other women whether he cheated on you or not is no way to bring up a family.

Tell him. He is going to be a dad, its done, it will happen. He needs to deal with it and then get over it. Yes becoming a parent when not expected is a scary time.

Ask him, does he wasnt to miss the first kick, the first breath, the first little fart, the first smile etc etc - is that what he wants, to be another nobody, another part time father. Another man kids refer to as the sperm doner.

Tell him pull his act together!

As for your friends, they know jack, but they are only looking out for you, your true friends will support you no matter what!

Dont put up with any crap off him, if he wants to be with you and support you in this pregnancy then he has to give you undivided love and attention.