Today our pastor from Church came round and we were talking about the life we lead which isn't very good right now. We are not the most disciplined of people and we find it difficult to organise our lives which is stressed because of the depression I feel. I also have to wait for an operation on my knee due to cartilage problems.

My husband and I have been trying for another baby, but now after speaking today I don't think it is what I want. I think it would be too stressful if we tried again and I don't think we would mannage. I want to be the best mum I can be for Lauretta.

Part of the reasons for wanting another child was for a play mate for Lauretta and also for my mum and dad. I also thought my husband wanted another child and somewhere inside of all of that I want another child. But, I am scared. I am afraid I won't be able to cope and that I won't be able to support Lauretta as good as if I had another one. I'm also scared about getting pre-eclampsia again. So here I am wondering what to do. I need to make an informed decision because it means having to go on the pill again and at the moment I am not on anything so I could even be pregnant.

I would like peoples opinions even if it upsets me please be straight I need to know. I know nobody has the answer I just want opinions from people who know what it is like to have a child. At the moment, my husband does not work and he won't be able to go back to work if we have another baby, but if we don't have another baby he might be able to go back to work in another year and I might be able to in another couple of years. Please any advise would be deeply appreciated.

Well I think that if you want to have another child is should not be because your parents, or a playmate. I am an only child, and I have no problems with being so.

As far as being worried about not being able to handle a second child, that I think is totally natural. And it is true that you would have to give up the all the time and attention that you give to your daughter, but that does not have to be a bad thing either.

For me the decision to have a child was huge, I had to have certain things in order before I felt comfortable doing so. I am sure this is different for everyone, but for me, I would not be comfortable having another baby unless I felt my life, my husbands life, and the life we were giving to the child was the best it could be. I am not talking about perfection here, being rich or anything, but settled and stable.

Good luck hun.

Hi thanks for your advise. It has helped. I think you are right life does have to be stable before having children because when they come along it is then all turned upside down. Thanks for your help and advise.

I would say no. Not at this time. Reading your thread seems to say you think no as well.

well, I have the same problem!

OH wants another child, as he thinks we can't leave Juleika without a sibling!

whereas this time round, everything with the pregnancy and birth went really smooth, I am scared the next time round, I certainly will not be as lucky!!!

and I am really worried, that I cannot cope, once there is another one to look after!!!

for the time being, I leave it not to bother me to much and I will see how I will feel about it in future!

but, I feel really bad, as I possibly cannot fulfil OH's expectations!!!