Hey all newbie here! I gave birth on new years day and still have not had sex, we have tried but it hurts, i feel really small if you know what i mean. Its going to be like losing my virginity again and that was painful enough the first time. Anyone else had this problem?

I'm worried about this too. Most people get wider though don't they?

Well thats what i thought but 1 finger hurt.

Hmm, that sounds strange. It's different for everyone though I suppose. I'm a bit like that at the minute though and I'm pregnant =/ I can still have sex but it takes a while to erm get in lol sorry tmi

Well i was small before and when the mid-wife checked how much i was dilating she commented on how narrow i was!! My friends say i might still be healing but its been nearly 4 months.

I think that's my problem, I've always been pretty narrow. You may still be healing, I know a few people who didn't have sex for a whole six months after they gave birth because it was too painful. Maybe you should make an appointment to have an internal exam just to check it out?

Are you breast feeding? You get really dry when you're BF

Stress, hormone imbalance after pregnancy, lack of lubrication, etc. can all play a role in getting back in the 'swing of things'.

Did either of you get an episiotomy when you had your babies? Sometimes the repair of a tear or episiotomy can cause a reduction in the 'stretchiness' of the opening.

If you think your hormones are ok, you are getting the lubrication you need, and 'size' is the only issue, you might consider perineal stretching like what is sometimes recommended prior to delivery of baby (to keep from tearing, and to avoid an episiotomy).

Also, breastfeeding can sometimes play a large roll in how 'frisky' we feel. For some women they have absolutely NO desire for sex, and so the thought of it is scary and effects how everything feels if they decide to 'give in'.

Seeing your OB or midwife is a great place to start if you do think there is a medical or psychological issue.

Some women take longer than others to be able to have sex comfortably i know after my first i couldnt manage it til 6 months after as i had a lot of stitches and everything felt so tight after 2nd and 3rd child had no problems guess i just stretched have you tried using lube as that should make it possible and less painful

Thanks for all the replies. No i'm not BF. Is an episiotomy where they give you local anaesthetic and cut you? Then yes i had that. Me and my baby boy were back to back. Yeah and lubrication is definiatly a problem too.
Regarding hormones i started taking the contraceptive pill 6 weeks ago for the first time ever. My OH thinks since i started taking it i've been in a bad mood and i do feel up and down all the time. I also haven't had a period since i started taking it.