I showed hubby this thread last night....I thought it may help him appreciate where I am coming from and that I am quite normal in not finding all acceptable.....he didnt speak a word to me after other than ask me where the dog brush was. His total silence has toally stunned me. I left the house for work this morning the moment he got up as i felt like i was going to burst into tears again! It all seems to be going from bad to worse! What can I do?

Maybe he just needs time to absorb the impact his actions have had, especially after reading what a bunch of other people have said about what he did. Try to give him a little space to think about it but ask him if you could set aside a time in say, 2 or 3 days, to talk about things and work past this and don't mention it again until your agreed upon time. Try to talk in a neutral place, like the park or a restaurant where you will both be more inclined to be calm and listen. Take turns talking and don't interrupt each other, no matter how hard that is! Maybe then he will be able to hear why this hurts you so much and he will be able to console you and reassure you that it won't happen again. maybe you will find out why he did it, what he is so afraid of. This is a difficult time for you both already with the new pregnancy. You need each other and need to find a way back to each other quickly. Maybe you could start an online love affair with each other to spice things up! Surprise him with a hot and heavy email! I'm sure you both love each other very much and this will just make your relationship stronger in the long run.

oh hon, sometimes it is hard to confront the issue but its neccessary. you are doing the right thing. its important for him to understand your needs and not just you understanding his. if he has unfulfilled needs you need to ask him what they are and see if you can work through them. but likewise he has to see your needs of trust and love you. i still think it will be easier to do this in a controlled environement with a skilled therapist even if you confine the conversation to just this one issue.......

I'm dealing with something sort of the same. I went through my phone bill last night and found all kinds of calls to Winnipeg. First off, I don't know anyone in Winnipeg. The only person my OH knows up there is this stunningly attractive girl who hes been talking to on the internet. I hit the roof. And then he had the balls to say "I didn't make any calls". So he's sticking with his story that someone must have broke into our house, used the phone, and called this one number in Winnipeg, over and over again. Like I believe that.

Men do NOT have brains. They just don't. I hope yours works out. Hopefully it was just a slip up on his part, maybe the baby thing just scared him a little? I hope it works out for you.

My ten cents - he is totally out of order. You need to sit him down and tell him you are not going to put up with it. Even if he is doing nothing wrong, he shouldnt be feesling guilty enough to have to hide it from you.

I agree with the majority of the girls here - and I think you need lots and lots of

Councelling is perhaps the best option - he needs to learn to be open about his feelings even if they are not want he wants to feel - you have a right to know about them and to deal with them together - there is no point in pretending!

My ex husband used to do the same - i know he never intended to meet these girls - but in the end we sat down and confronted the fact that he had a need to do these things in the first place - which was an indicator something was wrong in our relationship - something in fact, it turned out that he couldn't do for me which made him feel inadequate. Turned out I didn't love him and he sensed it and was insecure about that - not saying this is what your problem is at all! Could be a million things - just there is always an underlying reason.

I agree totally, and have to add that its not all doom and gloom honey. If you guys can make it through this you will only be stronger for it........ don't focus on the issue of other women, try to get into his mind and conncect with him. if he continues to refuse, it may be too hard to carry on trying and then you need to make choices. but if he opens up and you begin to repair the hurts, you are basically there and all you need is honest communication (which is where the work starts but at least there is hope)

Hope things work out and keep strong......

I wouldnt stand for that, you have every right to feel the way you do. And he has no right to be treating you that way.
Try discussing it with him further, i would suggest that you find some one that you can flirt with, he will hate it and might show him what an idiot he has been.
However if my OH did this to me, he would be out that Door ASAP and no messing.
Good luck x

Things still arent back to normal.....I guess it will take some time....but we have had talks, apologies, tears and hugs! He is still quite distant, but I think that is to do with his guilt. Hubby shattered the trust we had in our relationship right at the beginning, 6 year ago, and we worked very very hard to regain it. Since then we have had no problems and a very strong and happy relationship.....I have chosen to see this as a blip....a moment of weakness and stupidity. I trusted him implicity before this and we both want to get back to where we were only a few weeks ago. He is a good man who i absolutely adore....hence why it had such a huge effect on me! One step at a time....but we are back on the right path at least!

Glad you guys are working it out. I'm sure things will feel normal again in no time

yeh, i hope you feel better and are taking care of yourself