First things first, for the sake of your baby and yourself you dont wanna get too stressed out.
Obviously the only way you could deal with it is if he was willing to talk to you about this, but it doesnt sound like he is. I believe if he was sorry he would wanna talk things through. Regardless to him thinking its not a big deal, it has clearly hurt you and he should wanna make that better.
I guess you can only hope that given time he will realise it was wrong and hurt you and want to make it better x

Thank you all so much for your replies....I actually feel better having the fact I am not over reacting to this confirmed! I tried to speak to hubby last night again about it and I said that i would post this somewhere to see what the response was.....he said to make sure i stated that he wasnt going to leave me...to 'balance out' my point.....I mean....what the f*ck???? The thought of him leaving me hadnt even entered my head!
This whole emailing thing only went on a few days and it was very superficial....it wasnt a long standing relationship they had built up but I dont know how to get past it in my head. All he has to say now is that it happened, it is done and it is over....end of.

Honestly my husband and I met online (in a random chatroom) talked to each for years, exchanged photos, phone calls, etc. I would be highly upset if I caught him flirting online to other women because it can lead somewhere. Hopefully your OH has learned his lesson and won't do this again

It sounds like a harsh issue becuase the point of trust is at stake here. I do believe that your intuition is screaming at you to attend to this....

what does he say to therapy?

my friend had the same problem, he was exchanging photos with women on the internet, she went mental understandably then made him give her all the passwords to all the accounts he had, she proceeded to send them photos of her pregnant belly their kids and family photos... its quickly ended and she got to feel better... they are still together now...

i hope it works out soon personally id go mad!

hey hun, I went through a similar situation just after the birth of my first daughter. OH commenced a "relationship" with a girl he knew 2 weeks after the birth of our first baby, and they chatted on msn. I knew something was up, and that he was lying so hacked into his account and found it all. I confronted him, made him read all the emails with me so he could see my reaction and how much he had hurt me, and I said I would see how I felt after a month. If I felt I couldn't get over it or trust him then we were over. We managed to resolve it, took a long time and a lot of talking but our relationship is a lot stronger and a lot better now, and we have had a second baby and really want to be with eachother. He felt completely overwhelmed by becoming a dad, and also found it hard as I was totally absorbed with my baby and not with him. Like a complete muppet he thought with his dick and not his head. Could this be behind your OH's flirtation.

OH said he didn't feel as though it was real, as it was on the internet but I disagree. Its so different from a fantasy about a porn star or an ctress as this was a real person he was talking to, and real feelings they were discussing. That crossed a major line and he won't be doing it again.

I hope you manage to work through it.

You have all been so kind!!!! Thank you so much (again) for taking the time out to post!
At the moment I am struggling to look past all this....but I guess i just let time do its thing. I will either get over it or I wont but his attitude about it is making the whole thing ten times worse. We have been in couples councelling before and it was pretty good for us both but right now we just couldnt afford it.
Thanks again!!

i know its expensive but its important to try budget just one or two sessions to get you both through this....even if it means skiving on a few luxuries......

good luck hon.

Hi hun....
I just found your post and wanted to add my own experience...
My X-boyfriend had a tendency to chat with girls online as well.....exchange photos ect. ( The first time he got caught we had only been together 3 months)
Not a long time and his excuse was that he was bored and his hormones took over. I think it was the excitment of "chatting" with a stranger was just a fantasy.....but 5 yrs later I still had issues with trust and wondering if he was chatting with girls still. (distrust killed any feelings I had for him during our 5 yrs together)
He was...BUT..and this is the point I wanted to make......
BUT his character was selfish and disloyal and not trust worthy. He also thought with his dick WAY to much!
So......if you OH is a loyal trustworthy caring loving man...I wouldn't worry..BUT get his passwords for msn and email...and let him know if you are feeling insecure or worrying about his computer use.
and make sure he isn't on it all night long.
Hope this helps you out........

I don't know why men think that b/c it's on line it's not real.....where this concept comes from i have no idea.
I also met OH on line and it is very real.
If we wind back 50 years, you find a load of scented love letters hidden in a box. OH says it's harmless flirting and doesn't mean anything. Would this be any more or less real?
To me, it's the same thing...
It's cheating, simple as.

I am so sorry you are going through this and I am sorry he is being such an arse as to brush your feelings to one side.