goldlion

Well, like the title says... my mom is using my credit card. My parents have very bad credit from when they were younger... even though they're quite financially secure now, they're still unable to get a credit card because they're still seen as such a liability. My mom would often call and ask me if she could use mine because it's more convenient to shop online-- I didn't mind, she would transfer me money to put onto it and then use it. I wasn't technically paying for whatever she bought, so it was fine with me so long as she asked.

Well, it seems as though she copied down my numbers and just keeps using it. She's not giving me any warning and not transferring me the money.

She keeps telling me about things she's been getting like car reports online that cost 30.00, ordering books online, etc. but I never really thought she'd be using my credit card for it. I keep checking my transaction reports to find these odd transactions that I've never seen before... such as Double Day, a book company. Wait a minute-- didn't my mom tell me she ordered some books from there? That's funny-- I don't remember her asking me to use my credit card.

I'm worried about her affecting my credit. I'm not very good at keeping up with my credit card, but I've always got a small balance on it. I'm scared that if she keeps using it and making me go over my balance that I'll begin to get a bad credit rating for maxing out the card.

Technically I'm paying for all of this stuff now as she's not giving me the money. I will admit though, she does frequently give me more than I need so I can keep up with my balance.

I don't know what to do. I'm furious. I want to approach the situation delicately because my mom is easily offended and upset and I don't want to start anything. Should I just talk to her about it and tell her how I feel? I don't think I trust her not to do it again. I'm very upset she copied down my numbers.

I was thinking about just calling the credit card company and getting them to cancel it and send me a new one.. if she needs it in the future, I will input the numbers myself. Do you think she'd be offended if I canceled it? I really don't want to upset her and like I said, she's very easily upset.

What do I do?

Vickie

I would try to talk to her about it first, you need to know what is being put onto your credit card, it's common courtesy. Try to explain to her that you need to keep track of what's put on your card because it's so easy these days (especially online) to steal someone's card number/identity and you don't want to be stuck with unauthorized purchases on your card. If that doesn't work I would seriously consider changing your card number.

goldlion

Thanks Vickie. I'll definitely have a chat with her about it tonight.

Vickie

Hope it goes well

Jenny

Oye, thats a tough situation, sorry you're going through this hon

I agree with what Vickie suggested, if she can't agree to those terms. Then I would definitely cancel the credit card. I know its your mom and its hard but its your credit and it affects you and your family and not her. I hope you're able to resolve it without a confrontation

Samo

I'm actually in a similar situation right now, but DH and i found out we "have" a credit card we never knew about! His mother got a credit card offer in the mail that was meant for us (this was around the time we moved out of his parents place and moved) and she started the card up and has been using it. She is charging things on it and paying for it, of course, so slightly different than your case where you are paying for transactions that just appear out of nowhere on your account. However DH and i went to apply for a credit card this month and were DENIED because we have 'too much going on right now'. We thought that was silly since we only have 1 car loan and 1 $500 limit card we use for monthly gas. We had NO IDEA about the credit card his mom owned that was under our name... but when credit card companies look at our credit history and such to see if we can afford to pay for a new card with our salary, we get the big N-O because of the charges on this other card "WE" don't use.

*sigh* it is a tough situation when it's your own mother, isn't it? I'm sure they think it is fine if they pay for it (or your case, randomly send you money to pay for it) but in the end it's not their credit and credit history, it's OURS. I think if you talked to your mom and asked her nicely when she was planning on sending you the $$ for the recent purchases, it shouldn't offend or upset her. You can also inform her that you are getting a new credit card # so "heads up" the one she happened to write down wont work anymore, and if she absolutely needs your help to buy something online, you will gladly help as long as she hands you the $ (as she had been doing) and when the time comes, YOU can punch in your credit card info so that there is no chance of her writing the info down! if she asked to write it down for future use, state that you don't want to risk the info getting lost or stolen and you'd prefer to punch the number in straight from the card and not making copies of it any other way.

Margerle

I wouldn't tell her anything. Call the company, tell them you lost the card and get a new one. The numbers she copied are now no good, and she'll have to call you to get the numbers again. At that point, you can decide if you want her to make the cash transfers prior to purchase. I'd not share my cc number with her again though. If she asks why, tell her you found some charges that were not from you or hubby and so you had the card declared lost/stolen. If she confesses to using it, you can both set up something then, otherwise, just chalk it up to learning experience.

Doesn't Canada have debit cards attached to a checking account or savings account? This assures that the money is there before they can purchase anything. Help her secure one of these if needed.

vicky

i would do what magerle said

Newt

yeah definatly, You could say you lost your old one and had to cancel it for security reasons. That is IF she asks, but something tells me she won't. Its a toughy though huh?

Wobbles

I'd change the card & not purchase anything more until shes paid you for what she has bought then of course theres interest on her spends.

This is awful that its your Mum!

I'd even consider telling her you nolonger have a creditcard you just have to pay outstanding balance.