horrorheart13

That's exactly what I'm afraid of is being a sad mom who is so distracted by his behavior that I'll hardly be able to keep up with my responsibilities. I've decided that if in 4-5 weeks he's still done nothing, I'll be taking my grandpa up on his offer. The last thing I need is to be stressed out more than necessary after LO comes.

And that really is exactly what he's doing - blowing sunshine up my ass.

Thanks Margerle

leeanne

In a few weeks time if he doesn't change, I'd be blowing something up his ass!

horrorheart13

Helen27

I just want to say that I can relate to you also. I know what its like to keep hoping for something that deep down you know won't come. Your worth so much more but his behaviour and attitude towards you is causing you to feel weak and its stopping you walking away. You will be alot stronger than you think you are. It will hurt like hell at first and this is to be expected but I bet very quickly your confidence will return. Maybe you would feel better admitting to your parents that you feel they were right in the beginning and you need their support. It will be hard to swallow your pride but their support may help you stick to this important decision. You need to be loved and he isn't offering you that. You really can do better and you won't get that staying where you are!

Alchemist

I confronted my DH about things this last week and it was very stressfull. But I basically threatened him to either put more effort into me or its a dealbreaker (i prefer using that term as it puts power into my hands without sounding like i feel its over - so he wont be as on the defensive). What techniques are you using right now to convey your feelings?

Linzi

I dont think you're stupid at all. I think you've done the right thing. At least now he knows if he doesn't sort himself out what he stands to loose, and he knows you have no problems about leaving should you need to.

I hope this is a permanent change he's making. You're very strong. I hope everything works out for you

xxx

horrorheart13

Well right now what seems to be working is if something is bothering me, I type him a letter and send it to him. Although he doesn't usually respond, he does start acting differently. I do have a pretty hard time using the right words to make it seem like he really needs to put in more effort with out sounding like I'm threatening him and him getting all super-defensive.

mummy&mase

I know im only 18 but im kind of in the same situation, can i just say that if having a baby isnt enough to make him realise he needs to get a job and grow up etc, then nothing will. He knows exactly what he is doing and you need to think of your baby, do you want your baby growing up in that environment?

horrorheart13

Well, the thing is, he has a daughter from a previous relationship and when that happened, he had a job, was taking care of them. This is really not like him to not have a job or a decent place for us to live. But even so, I hope he realizes what he needs to do. I've already arranged to live with family in 2-3 weeks if he can't get himself together. If living alone and risking not seeing his son everyday doesn't give him motivation I don't know what will. And if it doesn't than I'm better off without him.

Wobbles

Good luck & good on you for defending your own happiness & your sons x