leeanne

I am sorry you are going through this too.

You've posted here a number of times about your OH and none of it sounds happy at all. You and baby deserve happiness, not what he's been putting you through.

horrorheart13

Okay. So I went to my counselor today (I have appointments every Monday, I have an anxiety disorder/depression issues that can't be treated while pregnant so I go in often so they can keep an eye on everything) and she's been there through it all. She knows how much I care about him and how much he used to care about me. I came to the decision that we'll have a long conversation about what is going to happen on MY terms. I have no doubt he will listen and not argue because the ball really is in my court right now. He is scared shitless that I'm really leaving and I might depending on whether or not certain "demands" can be met. I've already arranged with my grandpa a plan if I were to move out.

Please don't tell me I'm being stupid. I know alot of woman would have left by now. But I know he'll be a great dad because I've seen/heard how he is/was with his daughter before his psycho ex disappeared (another story). I just think he has alot of growing up to do.

So the #1 thing he has to do is quit drinking. If he can't do that, then I'm gone.

There are quite a few other things as well but they're alittle personal.

So as of now, he's sucking up to me. Telling me he loves me every 5 minutes, rubbing my belly, telling me all the things he's going to do to take care of me and the baby. I'm not drawn in by it. I like it, but I'm not letting him know it. I don't think it's selfish at all for me to want to have control of this situation. I rarely get to call the shots.

So anyway (god, I ramble on) things are still up in the air with us. But I'm in control right now. So I think for now everything is fine. Still such a hard decision to make.

Rumpskin

Do you know what, your OH sounds just like my OH did when I got smart and left at Christmas. He really tried hard (we are now back together).

I dont think you are stupid, far from it. You come across as a smart girl. You just need to figure out what is going to be beneficial to both yourself and your son in the future.

It is such a difficult one to give advice too.

I just hope you can sort everything out.

Good luck lovely x

toriaaaaTRASH

I know exactly how you feel. I blame myself and my hormones. I hope he'll change when babies born. I wish he still loved me like he did and that he didn't change.

Some men are just idiots. I hope yours sorts himself out!

Iwantone!!!

u need to do what is right for u and ur baby babe xxx

vicky

u need to do whats right for you and the baby hun.

Alchemist

Have you tried going into therapy with him? Its impossible to change someone. the only one you can change is yourself. In order to move forward you are both going to have to work at making changes together and this is the difficult part. Its important that he wants to work with you and not against you......

good luck and try to focus on your bub.....

Kooky

Your not stupid at all, if you love him and think there is a possibility that he can change and treat you how you deserve to be treated then its nobodys business to comment on. Just do what makes YOU happy, i hope he does the right thing and i hope you are happy together with lickle bubba
Kirsty
xxxx

rafwife

Good luck hun.

I would set a time limit on him finding a job. 4-8 weeks or something. Tell him you want him to show commitment that he's willing to work through things. It's all too easy to say the words, and then lapse back into his old ways.

Margerle

Is he getting a job? 2? 3? To support his family?

A father/husband takes care of his family. Doesn't piss away the last $30 to their name...

I've been here, done this. Words from men like this are as usefull as the stain that's on your mattress from his weekend fun. When they start making good ACTIONS to support you as his love, and that baby in your body - THEN you can start supporting him. But if all he's doing now, is blowing sunshine up your ass, well...

Sorry to be so blunt, but again, I've been here. At some point I realized that the man that I was so in love with, would probably do something insanely stupid with the baby unless I was on 24/7 watch. And what kind of mama would I be in that situation? I wanted to be a good, relaxed warm and loving mama. Not a hyper, tense, distracted, sad mama.

With all that said, I understand the connection you have with OH, and applaud you for sticking by him. But this is one battle that his ALONE to fight. When he feels in control he knows where to find you.