alyxzandra

Wow. You had to take out an injunction against your mother? That is something else. And that must have taken a lot to leave when you were 16.

I agree with you 100%. I did think of explaining to my son when he is old enough the reason he never met them.

alyxzandra

My ex's family was like that! Without the nannies, though. They never showed any emotions, but gave money. Although you say you were not abused, it sounds like you suffered a form of it since you were neglected. I just do not understand how they can be like this towards you. And to not want anything to do with you because you are pregnant? Last I knew there was nothing wrong with having a child. I did not know it was a major crime. UGH! And we are more than enough and our parents do not deserve us!

But, yes. The knifing incident is one of many incidents. In fact, I was so badly beaten all the time that a friend of mine (who I still know) remembers asking me why I was always bruised. Even I do not remember her asking me this. And I think, if my mom is able to do this to me, how can I trust her with my baby?

As for my grandmother, she was just as bad and knew of the abuse, but only supported it. So, she is another I do not want to know my baby.

I have decided they can go f*ck themselves with a huge pine tree. They are dead to me. My fiance and I discussed this yesterday and he is going to tell my mom to lose our number if she calls. I do not want my son exposed to this.

We are the ones who will break the cycle of crap. So, at least we will be the better ones. Thanks.

alyxzandra

I just want to thank everyone for their support.

It helps to know others who can understand and also just affirms what I already felt in my heart. I only wavered when my friend said about the distance, etc. I am dealing with the feelings of rejection, but that is something I can handle. My fiance and friends are pillars of strength for me. And now, I am making contact with wonderful people via this message board!

Waddler

You're worried about how your son will feel if you don't let them near him in a few years time so I'm going to tell you my story.

My dad had a very similar childhood to yours, constant abuse, mental and pysical -- he was actaully kept in a drawer till he was two--
Beaten so badly he couldnt get to school; he was the youngest of five and his older brothers did their best to protect but they couldnt always.
His dad would beat him but his mother was the worst, cause it was mental abuse with her. He told me she manipulated everyone, including his father.

Anyway when my dad married and had children of his own he did his best and tried to be civil with his parents. He would take me and my older brother to see them when we were little.
One day my mam took us there, and not knowing what they were capable of, left us on our own with my grandfather to go to the shops.
He pinched me and my brother till we were screaming the place down -- I was two, my brother was five -- he wouldnt let my brother go to the toilet and told him if he wet himself he would beat him.

My mam arrived back early to find my five year old brother sheilding me in the corner of the sitting room, trying to protect me from a fully grown man.

My mam went balistic and punched my grandfather.
When my dad found out he went insane and vowed that they would never see him and their grandchildren again.... And thankfully he kept his word.

My cousins unfortunatly were not so lucky and have emotional scares from my grandmother.

Myself and my brothers never ask about them, nor do we care about them. They were scum and we were very happy to not have them in our lives.

My dad stopped the circle of abuse and is the most wonderful father anyone could wish for. He's gentle, kind and my best friend.

Do not allow these people in your child's live, and cut them out of your own. You do not need them and they will only drag you down.

alyxzandra

Wow! Thanks for telling me this. I am sorry your father and his siblings had to go through it. Before the final blow up, I was contemplating on whether I wanted my mom and grandmother involved with my son. And when my mom kept pushing to have him alone, we refused. Her further nasty behaviour has just given me the excuse to make the final break.

I am an adult and my mom learned from when I was a teen not to lay a hand on me again. However, my son will be a little baby and cannot defend himself. Even if her or my grandmother are not physically abusing them, there is the question of my mom's husband and the emotional abuse. And to be honest, if either of them did any abuse to my son, I would most likely go to prison for a very long time.

Your story only reinforces that once someone is abusive like that they will remain so. And that is the stance I have taken. I am more and more certain my son will understand my motives when he is older. I have decided they will never see him and not to have contact.

I am so glad your father refused them access, but unfortunately, your cousins had to suffer.