doctordeesmrs

Been together nearly 4 years. Moved in together after about 6 months. Engaged just after our 1st anniversary. Married in September 2007. Even though we have not been married long i would def say we are closer because of it.

Lulu

Well me and DH have been together nearly 18 years, married for nearly 8 of those.

We met in 1990 when I was 15 and he was 18, moved into our first flat in early 1998, got engaged on 29 January 1999 and married on 16 September, 2000.

I would say marriage has changed our relationship for the better, it's kinda hard to pin-point exactly how but it just feels more secure.

leeanne

There is a reason why I asked and I thank you for all your responses. You are all so sweet

My hubby and I have been together for almost 10 years (we met in 1998 ). At Christmas of 2000, we got engaged, but at that time we were also planning a child. Our first was born November 8, 2001. When our daughter was 9 months old, we conceived our second child.

When I was about 6 months pregnant with my second, things were tough between hubby and I. He quit smoking and looking back I also think he had PND. Oh, quite an ass he was. So bad that when I was 8 months pregnant I left with my daughter who was about 17 months old. This was April 2003. This also meant that I cancelled the engagement....and I gave him back his ring.

During our separation, I had my son. The separation lasted about 5 months and when we got back together the engagement was never renewed or brought up again. I've known where the ring sat at all times too from that point until now.

I started thinking about getting married a lot again last year. Finally last August I got up the courage to ask him if he still wanted to marry me. I think I shocked him, and he did say yes but not with a lot of enthusiasm. More in a shocked tone...like I took him off guard.

A few times since then he's said "when we get married..." but the ring has not been given back. I am too stubborn to put the damn ring back on and scared that he will tell me to take it off, and I think he's too damn stubborn to give it back...afterall, I was the one who broke it off.

Now, the issue is truly this. I've heard so many people who have dated and lived together for many, many years, got married and were divorced so quickly after their marriage. We have a great relationship and I'm almost to the point where why fix something that isn't broken. Sometimes when a couple gets married, they act like they now own the person so who cares.

Whereas, hubby knows I won't take crap and because we are not married I could leave at anytime. And this keeps him on his toes, I think. ROFL

Now, do tell me what your thoughts are and if marriage is something I should pursue or just leave everything as is.

BTW, May is our 10 year anniversary so who knows what could happen then

Sarah88

I think it's definately a possibility. But you guys need to discuss if he should propose again or you should just put the ring back on. If you guys are happy together then go for it, especially as you have been together so long.

the_hug

Met my other half at the begining of November 2005, moved in with him at the begining of January 2006, got engaged on February 14th 2006 (very romantic), bought a house together in August 2006 and got married on 15th September 2007.

anita665

Im not married yet but we are engaged. OH had sort of moved in when he asked me to marry him. That was about a year ago and we've been living together ever since. We did plan to get married next year (2009) but I think we'd both rather wait and see how settled we are and what our financial situation is like before planning things.

Lydata

My DH and I meet in Aug 2003 in class in college, became fast friends, then got "engaged" in April 2004. I say that with quotes for a reason, we later got sick of my parents running things so we ran to some of his family in another town and later found the minister that married his mom's parents and he married us. The minister was about 96 years old and he went on to be with the Lord a few months later. In July 2004, we had a big ceremony for family and friends to come. We didn't have our first till Oct 2005.

I hope this helps too.

Vickie

I really think it depends on what you want leeanne. If you want to be married and feel like it is the right thing for you than you and your OH should certainly sit down and talk about it. Good luck in whatever you decide to do

Helen

I wouldn't say that marriage has changed us. We got married when I was 6 months PG. I'd say having children does that more. Things are different, but you already have children so you know what I mean about that.

Why do you think you are getting these strong feelings now about wanting to get married?

leeanne

Well, like I said, last year I was a bit more obsessed by the thought. It had already been asked, but, it was broken off. So, because it was not brought up for so long, I started thinking about it. Of course, seeing others engaged etc. brings the thought on as well.

It's not that I think we need to have papers in order for us to be a couple. At the same time, I wonder what my kids will think when they comprehend marriage and why mommy has a different name. And that's the other thing, my name is different than my kids and hubby so I kind of look like a guardian mom. To me anyhow.

Since becoming pregnant again, the thought hasn't been there as much. But, secretly, beforehand, I was hoping to celebrate our 10 years together by taking our marriage vows.

And, hitting 39 soon doesn't help much. I always wanted to be this young, pretty bride not an old wanna be bride.

Yet, inside I am scared that it will change everything and that's why I don't pursue it too much.

I'm going to leave it in his ball court now. I'm not the type of person to push a man into things.

I was more wondering about the dynamics of others who had dated and lived together for quite awhile and then got married. I've heard so many horror stories of relationships going sour once they get married.