Sparky0207

Hello everyone,
First time posting on here and not sure if ive put it in the right place but could really do with some advice!

Im 4 months pregnant and thought things were going well, until my future sister in law decided to stick her oar in yet again. Everything me and OH do, she always has to try and go one better and always seems to make every special occasion centre around her.
My partner and I and my partners brother and his girlfriend got together at roughly the same time and although I get on great with my partners brother and their family, I have never got on with the girlfriend.
When OH and I moved in together, the following week the girlfriend proposed to his bro and very conveniently decided to arrange their engagement party on the same night we had invited everyone to our housewarming. As a result, because they booked a big venue and put on a buffet etc etc, all OH's family felt they had to go to that instead.
When we got engaged, she had a pregnancy 'scare' on the same day. When I announced I was pregnant, the girl actually said 'I might have to get myself pregnant just to p*ss on your bonfire' although I never actually believed she would. Anyway, now I'm 4 months along and we went out for dinner with OH's family last night only for her to announce that she is pregnant!! We only told OH's family last month that I was expecting and it just seems that everything that should be special to us gets overshadowed by this girl.
I dont know if its me being mega oversensitive or maybe Im just jealous of the attention this girl gets, but should I be feeling so worked up over all this?
Sorry for the rant, got it out now tho!!
xx

Jules

Does your OH and anyone else notice how she acts?!?

Don't let her bother you, she can't be due the same day as you so i am sure you and baby will get all the attention!

Its rather pathetic whats she's doing, so don't give her the satisfaction of letting her know your annoyed!

Sparky0207

Thanks Jules. They all notice how she acts but it doesnt bother them which is why im sorta thinking it may just be me over reacting!

She has always been the most attention seeking person I have ever met but its only now that its really starting to bother me. She has her first midwife appt on my birthday which may have been a coincidence but I cant help feeling she booked it then on purpose as we are going out for a meal and she knows everyone will be buzzing around her.

Trying not to let it show in front of her as I know its what she wants but it is hard!

x

experienced

Dear Sparky,

I just read this and can sympathise. I have a SIL that does attention seeking things too. I don't know what the right answer is as to dealing with it as these people are in your life forever and there will be countless family gatherings. Mine luckily lives in another country but that doesn't stop her from pissing us off. Luckily DH sees through her so I do have support from him. We are expected to roll out the red carpet when she comes over as though we have nothing else going on in our lives. I am glad to say that this isn't going to happen anymore.
All I can think is your SIL is desperately jealous of you or feels threatened by how well you are received by the rest of the family and wants to compete for that attention. Perhaps you could try and ignore her (I know easy to say, harder to do). It might just help if she realises that whatever she does, it doesn't have any affect on you. Keep building your relationships with the rest of your family - don't let her undermine how you interact with them. If she says something hurtful like 'pissing on your parade' just say 'I'm sorry you feel like that about my news, I only feel glad when you have good news'. Make sure that others hear this too.

Vickie

I don't think you're overreacting at all. She sounds like a mean person who always wants the attention focused on her. As hard as it is, ignoring her is probably the best option, she won't get any pleasure out of hurting you if she doesn't know it's working.

Amanda

You're not over-reacting, I'd be pee'd off as well.

But, just remember.... Imitation is the highest form of flattery!

willow623

If she is going to p**s on your parade - sh*t on hers - LOL No - honestly it is definite that she is insecure with herself if she has to draw attention to herself.

You are not being unjustly jealous. You are excited about the things that are happening in your life and want to share them, but she is trying to upstage you. Honestly, in the long run, people will get tired of all the drama she is creating. It is hard to sit quiet, as I know it can drive people crazy. But in the end - karma will rule - it will come back around....

Sparky0207

Thanks ever so much for your advice, its so nice (and maybe a bit selfish of me) to realise its not just me thats affected by the dreaded SIL!

I would never let her know that shes getting to me but as soon as we leave the house I just want to scream! Makes it very difficult too as she lives with OH's parents so everytime we go round there shes there.

Im fed up of putting myself out for her and letting her get away with it all the time. Luckily OH does understand how I feel and I can talk to him about it but it doesnt bother him like it bothers me.

Thanks again everyone

xxx

Sparky0207

Forgot to mention that she used to date OH about a year before we got together, maybe this is where the jealousy stems from? (It drives me insane to think of them together but he absolutely hates the girl now and it was only a very short fling thing. Personally i think its very screwed up that she is now with his little brother.)

My baby is due two days before her birthday, is it wrong of me to hope and pray that my little one comes two days late?!!

Kellz

Oh my, she's definitely jealous and you are not over-reacting.

Just keep reminding yourself that you are an individual who can make her own choices, and not have to copy someone else.

Be strong