BurtonBaby

Honestly hun, I've been there, and I suggest that you talk to him. Its really hard, but communication is key, and if you dont tell him it bothers you, he really doesn't know. I met my DH when we were in high school, and he was a typical teen boy, and looked at porn and stuff. Well when we started dating, and eventually became intimate I assumed that stuff stopped. I was wrong. I didn't know how much he looked at it tho. I didn't really worry about it for a while, but one day like a year ago, I got really mad at him, and worried that he may have talked to a girl he used to know, (he's lied to me about her in the past & I cant trust them even talking), so I checked his email. Imagine how surprised I was when there were no emails to the girl, but tons of porn sites. And he kept links in a folder that just had a question mark, to what I am assuming were his favs. He was even paying for some. I thought we had a very good sex life, so I took this personally. I was so upset, I couldn't talk to him for a while at first. I was crying and felt like I would throw up. I didn't want to tell him that I already knew, I wanted him to be open with me about it, so I approached it like I was just curious. He however, said he didn't really look at that stuff, maybe once in a while but he didn't really care for it anymore. So finally I told him I already knew about it, and that it really bothered me, especially since he wasn't open with me about it. He stopped for the most part, and now if he looks at it, we look together, but like Miel said, the really soft stuff, cause the other stuff can be really gross.

Anyway, sorry for going on, but I would def just recommend talking to him about it. It will be hard to get the conversation going, but it will help, and I'm sure you will feel a lot better. Good luck hun. =)

miel

thanks burtonbaby i was a little nervous about be open about my intimate experiences but i see we all have our own and they can be similar

polo_princess

Just talk to him hunni, if you dont it will niggle and niggle away at you and cause twice the issue.

Its always ten times more hurtful if you find out theyve kept something from you rather than the act of actually watching vids / sending pics!!

Juzzy

Id definatly be speaking to him about it if it has made you this uncomfortable and upset.

Samo

You have every right to feel like you do, i think all women take it differently (some accept it and ignore, some want to know 'why', some get upset) it's natural of course. I agree with the others, if you want to find out answers to why and get to the bottom of it, have a talk with your OH. He may not even think it would have hurt you in any way and you guys can work it out together.

bexy_22

If there's one thing I've learnt it's not to look through oh's emails! Never been anything like that but I've read a couple off a girl he used to have a 'thing' with that they were sending while I've been with him where he's been very, erm, loving and said things like 'if i was single then I would snatch you up straight away.' I felt physically sick so I confronted him. That's probably the best thing to do, tell him what you saw and how it made you feel, I'm sure he'll understand =]

AquaDementia

men are idiots suzan. i caught my husband sending emails to himself with porno links. he even opened an extra email account for which i was not supposed to find out.

it is pathetic, but in the greater scheme of things not so significant.

BurtonBaby

I agree with Aqua. Men are idiots. And pervs... And dont think about porn and stuff the way we do. I think men see it more just like in addition to their relationship, we see it as in place of our relationship. Good luck hun!

suzan

Thank you girls

Linzi

Something similar happened to my friend, and it shook her up a lot as she's very self concious about herself. Her boyfriend had been looking at photos on the net and had joined a few websites and email lists.

She sat him down and very mater of factly told him that it was making her feel uncomfortable and to stop it. Espeically as he was using her PC.

I would have a word hun, hope you feel better soon,

xxx