hi everyone
I am 39+1 weeks pregnant and have been quite depressed throughout my pregnancy but I feel at no fault of my own....I have been with my partner for almost 3 years, and was very happy in the beginning.

Over the last year I have been feeling as if I am taken for granted (as most men make you feel, I suppose!!). He is a musician and travels alot - mostly away on weekends. I do not mind this because he really enjoys it and makes him happy. We live seperately and he does not provide for me in any way at all. Thats all I have asked of him is to be there for the birth of our baby. He promised me he would not go away to work around my due date but he is. He has not taken any time off at all and if I do go into labour there is no way he could leave his gig to be with me. He keeps saying that I will go in to hospital in the week "when he's got nothing better to do" UGGHH....nice man hey!!!

Hes let me down when i've had hospital appointments by making some excuse on the day so my good old dad steps in as usual and takes me as I do not drive and it is 12 miles away.....Thats all he does is come down to cook food (thats one thing he does - one meal a day) leaves the kitchen in a right mess and after he's eaten he just goes home and thats it until the follwing day if i'm lucky.

He tells me he loves me but only when he's drunk but I feel like i'm being walked all over....is it too much to ask for a father to be there at the birth of his child. I feel that I really need someone to be with me in labour but he has upset me so much throughout the whole pregnancy I feel like I just want to split up as I just can not take anymore disappointment.

Sorry for the essay all.....i've just got so much I need to say but don't want you to get bored!!! What would you do????

I don't think you want to know what I would do.

Anyhow, my first impression is that he is being selfish and you are being more than unselfish.

I truly think you should discuss with him your feelings and see where it goes from there. But from what I gather, he's not being there much for you and your baby so how will it be after?

he might not be the best birthing partner for you then anyway if he is so little involved in your pregnancy! your birthing partner should give you full support during birth as well in case you can't communicate for yourself anymore!

see that you find sb quickly, whom you explain your birthing plan in details and whom you can trust will be there for you!

I do not know how important it is for your OH to take on his gigs.

I mean, if he is not well established in the business he might be financially dependant on each gig he gets? as well if his career is on the uprise?

but hopefully he will unleast support the baby financially at the end!!!

Wow... He seems so incredibly selfish. I don't think I could stand having a partner like that. The birth is one of the most important times of your lives and for the father to miss it? I know my dad missed both me and my brothers births, but thats only coz he was an interstate truck driver and they couldn't afford for him not to work. Does he provide such an excuse to you from not taking time off though?

I am so sorry my OH is a muso too but has a stand in to take over ready for the day bubba comes. TBH he sounds like a pig, like a total player, who is taking the piss out of you. Actually, he sounds like someone I know (name doesn't begin with M by any chance?)
Anyway, you deserve better, and you should bloody tell him so.

aaaawww hunni xxxx

I think he's acting like a complete ass, and you need to find someone else to be your birthing partner, someone you can trust to actualy be there, and want to be there. I'm a singer, and love what I do, but my family come first.

if your step dad has been their for you through out the pregancay why not think about asking your step dad to be their at your birth?? Like everyone else has been saying it doesn't sound like he might be the best person to be their at the birth.

You need someone who is supportive and knows your wishes for labour. Just because he contributed the sperm does not make him the best one for the job!!!! Concentrate on your and the babys needs, personally I don't think you should waste too much time on him