My Oh has a daughter aged 9 from a previous relationship and it has been difficult at times to say the least! I haven got a prob with his ex or daughter and try to make her feel welcome here. Daughter regularly goes home and tells mummy whats been happening in my house and when i had my 1st child with Oh the mum told her its not her brother its her half brother- even tho the man her mum is with is called 'daddy' and my Oh is called daddy tony , i just think it is jealousy and probably bitterness. I just ignore her i have my own life to contend with and she doesnt reallt get to me other than when she rings upcomplaining bout stuff!!! anyhow it will get better when they get older leave home etc they will have their own minds....

the first question i asked my oh when we got together do u have any kids with anyone else he said no so i dont have that problem xxxxxx the only thing i can recommend is when baby is born u get his little brother involve while hes there with u and make a fuss of him so he does not feel left out xx

I've dated quite a bit and never once met a guy who had kids. Till hubby came along.

But you know what? I never ever wanted kids, but it was because of his kids and how good of a father he was to them that I knew that it was going to be alright and I found my match. And that's exactly it....when a guy has kids you know what kind of a father he will be.

The exes I could do without though!

hi my OH has 3 kids 1 boy and 2 girls. they are great and have let me play a big part in their lives. their mum has her days. she says things to the kids like you'll get pushed out when baby comes.baby will get better things than you's. but his kids no this isnt true they have talked to me about it. ive let them be as involved with pregnancy as i can they feel bump everytime shes moving. the girls help rub cream on it. and they all help choose her bed and furniture. it was the only way i could really no they knew she wasnt going to change how we felt about them. now they cant wait. she isnt an it any more they call her by her name and she isnt here yet so i know they are ok with it. plus ive been with there dad for 6 years and in that time their mum has had 2 other kids. so LO is no suprise to them. they just like helping out.

My partner has a daughter from a previous relationship, she will be coming up 3 in May.

I found it particually hard at the start, I almost bailed out of our relationship a few times over it. I kind of had this resentment that he had a child with some one else. I didn't feel at all like this towards his daughter, but his ex partner. Its a long story about what happened to him and how Eleanor was planned on his ex's behalf but not on Chris's through decietful lies but thats another story...

I eventually realised I was just being silly, and I treat her just like i'd treat my own, at the end of the day I knew what i was getting into and an innocent child dosent deserve to be treated like they're not wanted as that is not the case.

The trouble is, I get annoyed, her mother isn't much of a mother if I ever did see one. She straps her in the push chair infront of the TV so she can sit and have her friends or boyfriends over, she gets drunk when she has 2 children to look after to the point that she cannot walk. She palms her off to any tom, dick or Harry at every available oppertunity, Still used to buy her baby jars at 18 months if she couldnt be bothered and all she feeds her is Sausage Rolls and quick easy freezer food day in day out such as nuggets etc every night, she never has fruit or veg. She's coming up three and still cannot use a knife and fork and wonder why Chris and I sit her at the table and try and get her to eat properly. She has no routine, and I feel for her as she is the innocent party in all this and I feel like Chris's ex is robbing her of her child hood so she can have an easy life and a social life most people could only dream of whith Children. She dosent work and has been done on numerous occasions for claiming false benefits, she is always trying to fiddle some system and it makes me so bloody angry.

Its not easy at the best of times as his ex tries to make life so difficult, like the time she demanded I pay her the same oney as chris does as we have 2 wages coming in. If she got off her back side and got a job she would too. trouble is she gets too much money from benfits to do that, and times when she used to phone up when she found out I was pregnant saying Chris couldnt have children with any one else as her maintence allowence through the CSA would go down. Its quite pathetic really such as the times she used to send texts to Chris threatening me. getting her friends to come into my work place and stare at me and getting her sister to threaten me when I was at work

When we told her she was going to have a baby sister she didnt really seem interested until November a month before my due date, then she used to go telling every body there was a baby in their belly and that wa sher baby sister, I think it annoys her mother when she has stayed with us as we try and teach her things and make every day enjoyable & her mother hates her going back and talking about what she has been doing and then she tries to stop access

She's got quite into the roll of being the big sister but sometimes she does have jealous streaks, such as when Chris or I can't give her attention as were busy with Olivia, and when her Nana is with Olivia and she wants her Nanas attention, but I suppose its the same with every child when there is a new baby about.

I cant understand why people are so bitter and twisted about the past when the only person who really matters in it all is his daughter, not him or his ex.

*edit* sorry about the essay

Hiya
My partner has a 3 half year old and we have only been together for 5 months but i find it hard because i wanna have a baby so much and always have done but he's already done it with someone else.
the little boy is brilliant but at the same time i'm soo jealous because i want my own child so much....
x girlfriend can be ok sometimes and shes just had another baby so hopefully that will mean shes busy with that than with us.
its def a lot harder than i imagined it to be but i love him so much.

my DH has two kids, SD11 and SS6. i'm very lucky because i get along great with the kids, they're really cool. his ex wife had an affair so DH divorced her. the ex is now living with the guy and they have a baby together. although DH and i didn't even meet until after DH became single, the ex wife is still jealous of me. she harrasses us on a regular basis (i'm her favourite person to harrass) but it's only a matter of time before the kids and her partner see what she is really like. a person can only be nasty for so long before their true colour begin to show.

when we told the skids about my pregnancy, they were both very happy. SD11 wants a girl and SS6 wants a boy. they are used to having a baby around because their mother has one so i'm confident they will be okay with everything.

i know it sounds silly but my only concern is that SS6 might get a bit rough with the baby and hurt him/her without meaning to. he's a very energetic excitable boy so i am a little nervous lol

Why do i always feel so jealous....trying not to let it get to me that OH has a little boy from previous relationship but how do you not....i wanna have a baby so much and always have done but he already has a little one....i get jealous of there bond and sometimes i just feel like the third wheel not really knowing what to do..... things have to be revolved around when shes free or busy to what days at the weekend he has him....
someone please give me some advice i feel like backing out sometimes but i love OH so much ........

having a bad day!!

I was like that in the beginning with my step daughter. I always swore i would never get involved with someone who already had kids. I just took it one day at a time and it got easier. I am so close to her now i would do anything for her.

How long have you both been together now.....it seems that everyone feels better after a while i'm just wondering when that will be ???
and everyone seems like they found it easier when they got pregnant and had there own children together? xx