horrorheart13

I think he will be a fantastic father to our son as he already is/was to his daughter from a previous relationship but if anything like this ever happened in the presence of the baby, I'd be out of here. We're going to try to work things out and take everything as it comes but I've made it clear to him after yesterday, there are no guarentees unless he makes a change. As of now we're still engaged but i think it's by name only because no date is going to be decided on until after we get in couseling and after the baby is born and we settle in as a family.

I'm feeling alittle better although I still can't believe what happened. It was like something out of a very bad dream. Thank you I'm really hoping everything works out.

horrorheart13

I understand what you're saying. I've been thinking about going and staying with my grandparents for a few days, which is starting to seem like a great idea since his birthday celebrations (ie: getting wasted for two days straight) are coming up and I don't think it would be a good situation for me to be in.

The more I think about everything the more I think he just doesn't realize that if he behaves like this, he's going to lose me. I think even a temporary move for a few months might put everything in perspective for him. I'm not really sure exactly what I'm going to do about all of this yet since it's all so fresh in my head and I haven't really had enough time to myself to think on it all.

Thank you

Wobbles

Well hun thats just awful

Im not blind to relationships clashing & things getting out of hand tbh so out of frustration I am glad that was water & not a fist you know? Hoping that is all that goes on between you'z. In an arguement words can be more hurtful than a hand though and you truely shouldn't be upset or in this state emotionally esspecially whist pregnant everything is so much more worse & you are more vunerable although man will say your not like they bloody know ... so it would have been better he walked away but who thinks at moments like this I guess.

If things are tense when he goes out I think you should suggest a taxi and go spend a night with a friend just so the peace is there the next day for you both.

to you

bexy_22

Oh that's awful hun! My oh went out and got drunk for his birthday at the weekend and spent the whole night with another girl who i was already keeping my eye on anyway and with me being sober it wasn't very nice. Then we had a huge argument and he managed to make out it was my fault. Hmm. Luckily he wasn't as bad as your oh, I hope you get it sorted out =] i think a break is a good idea, if anything it'll make him think twice about how he treats you plus you won't be as stressed, that's not good for your lo
x

horrorheart13

Guys really do seem to think they know everything when it comes to woman being pregnant. We just overreact and whine about everything apparently I wish men could get pregnant so they knew how it feels. They could never handle it.

But yeah, that's what I'm thinking, I've arranged to stay at my Grandpa's house the nights he's going out Right now everything has seemed to calm down. I think we were both just so stressed. Him about the job situation and his music which is better now because my Dad is doing all he can to get him a position where he used to work and the song OH is writing now seems to be coming along well and that puts him in a good mood. I've been in a better mood and less stressed too as I've thrown myself into practicing with my tattoo equipment (but I promise i will finish your drawing!! ) and LO has been kicking like mad today and that always puts me in a great mood. So for the time being, all seems to have calmed down. We're going Monday to a local place to see about getting couseling which makes me even happier. Especially since OH isn't the type to go to that sort of thing but he's willing to for us.

Goodness I talk too much!

Thanks

maybebaby

Hi there!

I am so sorry to hear about your fight with OH. I've been in that type of situation, and it's tough. My ex and I used to have HORRIBLE arguments, and I was too young to stick up for myself. He definitely was emotionally abusive, which is hard to take. Sooo on that note, it's obvious that you love him very much. Since you are trying to work on things, I would say the most important thing is that he knows that it is NOT ok for him to spit on your or throw water on you. If you don't set boundaries now - he won't stop, even if he has good intentions, and I am sure that he does. I really hope that you are able to work it out and rejoice in your beautiful LO!

Terri

Wobbles

Fucking telling me even after the birth they think its all back to normal < although there wasn't anything wrong but whinging before anyway ..... huh? Tell you what the words wishing man could get pregnant have crossed my mind but when I think about it 'realistically' Im glad they can't ... can you imagine ffs lol!

Keep your head up chick Hope things work out. Both learn to count to 10 & bottling things up never helps something else both parties in a relationship should realise x

No worries about drawing either hun Im sure you need to be in right frame of mind for things like this ... you look after you right now

horrorheart13

I know I can just imagine how much he'd bitch and moan the whole time if he could be pregnant

Thank you wobs

horrorheart13

So being the idiot that I am, on Friday, because I wanted to be nice, I drove him to the bar so he could drink on his birthday. I told him before I left, don't spend too much money, don't get so drunk you can't walk (I can't carry him myself, he weighs nearly twice as much as i do), etc. So when it comes time for me to pick him up, I text message him and he ignores me. I get there and he's wasted. He keeps insisting he needs another beer and ends up making me cry. I tell him if he cares about me at all, he'll stop that second and get in my car. He refuses. So I take his beer, throw it away, tell the bartender to ignore him and I take his phone. He passes out right there at the bar. Still crying hysterically, I call his father who, even though he had to work in 2 hours, woke up and helped me get him home. I've never been so stressed out. So the next day, I don't talk to him. I don't tell him I love him, and I actually didn't feel any love for him at that time whatsoever. So all morning he sucks up to me, trying to kiss me, telling me he's sorry. I tell him I don't care. He keeps asking me if I'm going to move out, etc. I ignore him. Time comes where he has to go to his bands show (they played at some bar), so I take him there, planning to just drop him off and leave. I help him get some of his lighter equipment out and I just say "bye" and head to my car.

Then little miss moron comes out of hiding and I just can't leave like that, especially since he gets stressed out before having to play a show. So I run back over to him, give him a hug, kiss him and tell him i love him. DAMNIT. So after we both get home, he acts like everything is fine. We have a talk about how things have to change, etc and everything seems to be going better. I think partially because I scared him. He thought I was leaving him. But instead of keeping my distance I give him affection which he definately doesn't deserve right now and now I think I might have ruined all the progress I think he may have been making by thinking I'm leaving. I just love him so much it's hard to keep away.

Anyway There's some sort of agreement we've made where he has to show more interest in our relationship, make more of an effort towards us, and talk to me about things that bother him, since it's not just his life or mine, it's OUR life. He agreed but it still remains to be seen whether or not he actually keeps his promises.

Sorry this was so long (again) but I figured instead of posting another thread, I'd just update this one since it's the same situation.

Redhorse xxx

Aww, hun. Don't beat yourself up about it, we all feel vulnerable when when we are pregnant.

On the other hand, you have to continue to make a stand, when he gets stressed you run to his aid, when you get stressed he gets wasted in a bar and makes you cry?

How is that fair? Love makes us put up with things from our partners that we just wouldn't put up with from anyone else, you have not ruined your progress. Just keep in mind, that his behaviour towards you has been less than acceptable and tell him that you love him, but if that side of him ever shows itself again you will be gone and leave him to deal with all the shite. He has to be reminded of the fact that this has altered the way you view him, even if it is only temporary.

You sound like a lovely caring girl, but don't sell yourself short. He has to pull his weight, and get his finger out of his ass and start treating you and his unborn baby with respect.
He's not going to be any good to you unless he straightens out his attitude.

Good luck, I hope that everything turns out okay- truly

Redhorse xxx