Katie_baby_1

Hey everyone, this is my first post on here and its gonna be a moan!
Im 20 yrs old and me n my OH have been together for 2 years and im 12 weeks pregnant. Well..... over the past few weeks me n the OH have had a few fall outs and it all boils down to the lack of trust I have in him. Im not a very trusting person but in the past he has let me down and lied about certain things. He's never cheated or anything like that... the thing is before i started seeing him he smoked weed all the time and when we got together i told him i didint like it and he agreed to quit (although ive found out that he never really did.) He cut down a lot and he says he only smokes it evry few weeks.

Since we moved in together he's struggled to hide it from me and i always seem to catch him out. Everytime he gets caught he promises that it wont happen again and im 'overreacting'.

Im sick of been told that i can trust him when i feel like i cant. Anyway it happened again last night and now hes just being a total twat about it and ive told him that he has to choose between me or smoking weed.
He asked me why i hated it soooooooo much and why does it matter? the only reason i could think of is the fact that i just dont like it (i didnt no what else to say!)

Anyway i gave him the choice and then he blarts out that he wants to start going out with his mates again. At this point i was pulling my hair out cus our relationship and soon to be family is falling apart and alls he cares about is going out with his stupid mates!!

After crying all the way home i just wanted a from someone and told my mum that i just cant trust him. Shes told me to come home cus she thinks im not happy and let him think about what he wants.

I just dont no what to do!! DO you think im overreacting about the fact that hes smoking weed or have i got a right to be pissed off?? (please tell me if you think im wrong) I love him and dont want to be without him but im just so confused about everything. Im also worried that all the worrying im doing is effecting the baby!

Sorry if im rambling, thanks for listeining!

cupcake

i dont think the issue is the weed here, if you ask for something important to you and do get any response that a problem. you cant smoke weed around a kid and i dont think its healthy to smoke around a pregnant woman either. its one of those things that passes on to the baby. i think you need to think about if this guy is going to be there for you, you are at the beginning of the pregnancy, there is a long way to go with lots of changes along the way, can he be supportive for you, can he deal with some hormone days, some sicky days. what about when the baby comes? these are just some things to think about. i dont think you are wrong, you are pregnant and you need support.

Katie_baby_1

He is supportive in every other way... hes always there for me but he just doesnt undrstand why i want him2 quit.
He never smokes it around me... hes sneeky about it and thats what i hate. If he loves me as much as he says he does then why cant he jst stop??
Im so fed up of worrying about it! Thanks anyways! x

cupcake

some guys see smoking weed as a relaxing recreational thing that guys do, provided of course he doesnt do anything else at all and would never consider it( ill probably be shot down for saying that as a lot of ppl see it as a drug and thats it -no more discussion) think about what really bothers you about it. do you see it as a drug habbit? do you see it as sleezy? if you can be a bit more open to him about why you dont like it he might come around. also i would ask him why he feels the need to go behind your back.

xarlenex

Personally I wouldnt be with someone who smoked weed. I dont agree with drugs at all. If he cares for you and his kid then surely he should stop? I dont think your over reacting at all. I mean, does he know that the maximum penalty for possession of weed is two years in prison plus an unlimited fine? Can he afford to take this chance with a baby on the way? Surely his money can be better spent right now.

leeanne

I don't agree with it either. I think drugs are stupid and a waste of money.

We own a roofing company, and, unfortunately, most workers do this stuff. Most think that marijuana is no big deal. BUT, it is. We had one worker who smoked it like they were cigarettes and the guy complained he never had any money, no food for his kids, etc. His motivation sucked too.

We've had others that were coke addicts.

It's absolutely horrible and the drug problem is just getting worse year after year.

They say you can't get addicted to marijuana. I beg to differ. Often too, marijuana is the start of something more like crack, coke, etc.

My first boyfriend when I was sixteen was the sweetest guy. All of a sudden, a few years later, I knew when he started to smoke pot...he was different somehow. I asked him and he said yes, he did. For a number of years after this confrontation I went from thinking I could handle it, to thinking I couldn't. It was an on and off relationship until finally I knew I could never handle it. I was always worried too....What if he became a drug addict? I never wanted anything as such in my life.

That's my opinion

swattongemz

you sound like your in the same situation as me. My OH smokes weed (outside) but his mates are round all the time too. I've had enough and totally sympathise with you.

xclairex

hey hun,
you are not over reacting and trust is such a big part in a relationship if u havent got that u havent got anything! me and my oh had big fallings out over my 2nd pregnancy! he went really weird lieing and everything i then lost the baby at 9 weeks and he gave me no support altho my oh never cheated i just didnt trust him so i left him for abit! he used to do weed before we were 2getha and we have been 2getha 1 yer and 4 months i dont think he is doing it again as i would no! anywayz he realise what he did wrong and now he has changed alot i sat him down and made myself be strong i am a very insecure person an dont trust anyone!! but now i let him get on with it after that talk we had i think it made him realise! we are now going to start trying again and i cant wait but im glad we sorted things! we are here if u need us chick! and im sure your oh will see what he missin and come back to u and your little bean! just sit him done it is hard and people always say the same thing but hopefully it will work out for u and baby! sending you big big xx