So I'm just at the hospital sitting next to James while he sleeps. The hospital let me stay over whenever I want which is good. I like being near him, even though I know he's doing so much better I still find it hard to be away from him, I always think I would never forgive myself if anything happened and I wasn't with him.
Stupid I know - bloody hormones!
It's so weird seeing someone who's normally so strong look so vulnerable. James's always been the one who protected me, just little things like whenever we were walking on a road he'd always walk on the outside and make me walk on the inside, just in case. He's always seemed so big and strong but now lying in the hospital bed with tubes and wires and stuff all over him he just looks like a child.
A day never goes by without me thinking how lucky I am to still have him here with me, I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost him. It makes me even more sure of my decision to keep the baby as well, because you know what; life's just way to short. You have no idea of knowing what's just about to happen.
I think of the things I worried about before, silly arguements and stuff. It's amazing how your priorities change so suddenly when the person you love most in the world is fighting for their life. I'm just ever grateful that he's still with me and hopefully will be for a long long time.
Sorry guys, just in a thoughtful mood I guess.
I just want him home with me now
Hope everyone's ok
xx
take of yourself so hon 
Just remember to take care of yourself and LO while you are taking care of him 
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