cupcake

sammi i think if u want to work on ur relationship that your parents will understand eventually. and he can see u in supervised visits when someone is with you or you are with oliver.

Vickie

I agree with cupcake, he is Oliver's father and does have a right to see him, however I would only allow supervised visits until I knew that he had gotten help for his anger problem. I'm not saying that he's hurting Oliver on purpose, but anger can make people do the unthinkable, and he may not realize exactly how much his anger is affecting you and the baby. Until he gets help it is not a safe environment for Oliver to be in.

Wobbles

One thing my OH pointed out a moment ago hun is there is conditions where bruises can be caused or can appear easily - something to do with white blood cells I think he said. Its something to consider/get checked! But I would certainly do that away from the house if I thought it was possible it was caused by Dad if it was Im sure he'd never want to do this & would benefit from some help but not wanting to or meaning to doesn't mean it doesn't happen again if it is him. Looks at the bloke who threw him and his kids off a holiday balcony!

I think if you were to leave you do it silently and when he is not there - be silently prepared in your own head & even things piled up (like clothes) in a spot to 'grab' where it doesn't look odd because theres always clothes about in my house.

As for you parents whatever your wishes are if you do decide to leave you really need to say look I need your support I want you to respect my wishes & wanting to help work things out with Ewan & they need to do this if that is what you want.

AquaDementia

it's really not worth it sammi, for the sake of your little boy and yourself.
that is definitely not a healthy environment to be in.

Samo

Ewan certainly sounds like he needs some help with his depression it's an illness, and a deadly one at that. I do hope he chooses to seek help...for his sake as well as his baby and babymamas. I do agree that you should get out and stay somewhere that is safer for the baby while he sorts himself out. If you cannot trust him alone with the baby, you've pretty much summed it up. I am sure your parents will have their doors wide open for you if you sought help from them it will be good for you, and you can take a breather in knowing Oliver is in safe hands and you don't have to worry all the time. The stress of it is not healthy for you, love, watch out for yourself as well. Take care and i do hope things get better for all three of you. xoxo

sweetsammi

Thanks Wobbles that thought has cropped into mind also..that Oliver could have a medical condition of some sort, i should know that more than anyone cus i started bruisin when i was 9, turned out i had cancer! Yeah it is to do with the bloodcells. Could be a vitamin deficiency of some sort even or anythin like that. Even so though weather Ewan is causin him to bruise or not, he still needs to stop raisin his voice at Ollie and pullin him about like a ragdoll in his temper. x

Redhorse xxx

Sammi,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. Oliver is nearly nine weeks old, your OH is grown man. He CANNOT continue to chuck his son around like a 'ragdoll'!!! The first time he did it, I would be out of the door and make no mistake about it.

Stroppy or not, he needs to get help. It is not healthy for such a young baby to be in that environment, even if he does cry- your OH should go out for a walk or get out of the house if he has these feelings about poor little Ollie.

You are his mother and as such you have to stop this happening, what about when Oliver is older. Do you think that he will lose it with him and smack him? Believe me, my father was horrible to me. He physically and mentally abused me all of my life until I left home, I thought that being beaten by my Dad was normal until I went to school! He always did it when my Mum was at work and threatened me that if I told her I would get it twice as badly the next time.

Do not let it progress, go to your parents and tell him that you expect him to get help.

I'm sorry, but I cannot condone any roughness with a young baby, he is little and the only way he can let you know something is wrong is by crying. He won't stop crying by being manhandled!

I hope you sort something out before it ends badly.

Redhorse xxx

coccyx

My priority would be my young son. You know he is loosing his temper with your son, I would not wait for him to change or for something worse to happen. If you were my daughter I would be very upset if you didn't come home. Don't take any chances, your OH needs help, professional help,

Iwantone!!!

hunni get out before it gets worst he needs help what if next time he gets so pissed of with oliver that he shakes him i know that sounds horrible but the frustion he feels of oliver crying is effecting him as when he picks him up hes pushing harder than u would ur mum will put u up she would not want u to be in a place like thlike at maybe he needs a break you both may be finding it hard like u may be but its not fair on oliver to be hurt good luck with whatever u do hunni xxxxxx

toot

Sammi, I am truley concerned about you and your baby, I don't know where you live but there are so many places that you could go for help if you don't want to involve your parents, I really think your oh has promlems not only anger but controle problems too, see he says to you that he can't help getting angry and you said that he starts to cry, well maybe he can't help his anger but if he admits to this then he does know it is wrong and in stead of him saying to you that he is sorry he should be seeking help so he can make wonderful child your your son., instead he tries to flip flop things around to you by saying you think i am crazy and that he would not go for help, well my thoughts are if your husband had any feeling for his son he would do what ever it took to make it better. I wish you all the luck, just know that you can't stop your husbands anger and you have to keep yourself and your son safe.