Ellianna

What the hell??
I am sooooo angry!!
Warning to everyone - this will be a rant!
Basically, I'm spending nearly all my time at the hospital at the moment so I can be with James. Splitting my time between college, work (I have two jobs) and the hospital so I can be with him as much as I possibly can. And needless to say I'm pretty tired at the moment, but it's worth it because I love him and I'd rather be with him than anywhere else.
Then tonight his parents were there. I've always got on with his dad, he's always been absolutely lovely with me and he's just really sweet. His mum... I usually get on with, she always kind of seems a bit on edge with me, like she's waiting for me to mess up; I don't think she think's I'm good enough for her beloved youngest son.
I was in James's room when his parents came in, he was asleep so I was just catching up on some college work and stuff and to be honest I havn't really spoken to his parents properly since I found out I was pregnant so I didn't really know what to expect. Also, they havn't really been to visit him that much which I knew he was upset about so I wasn't really that pleased to see them.
So they came in and Karen (James's mum) was like 'Oh Ellie, I didn't expect to see you here' and I was like 'Actually I visit every day if I can' and she was like 'Right, you must hardly have any time to do your college work' so I just said 'No, it's fine. I'm doing it' and then she did like a little eyebrow raised face like 'Yeh right!' which PISSED me off because I'm doing the best I can here! So then she goes 'Well, I'd really like to talk to you actually, alone' and I looked at Mark (James's dad) and he wouldn't look at me so I knew something was wrong.

So we went outside and she said 'I havn't really had a chance to talk to you recently, but I'd really like to have a chat about this pregnancy' and I just got that feeling, u know when your heart basically sinks to the bottom of your stomach?! Then she goes 'I think you should have an abortion, or give the baby up for adoption, whatever happens I don't want James to be involved.' She carried on and she was like 'He's a clever boy with his whole life ahead of him and I don't want it ruined by him having to deal with a family at 19. I don't know how you tricked him into agreeing to this baby but I want this all to stop NOW. I don't care what you do with your life but there's no reason that he should be dealing with your mistakes. You're both far too young to bring a child into the world, I don't know why you think you can do it because you can't! You have no idea of what having a child is like and there's no way you're going to be able to handle it.'
WHAT THE HELL?? Seriously! I was so angry I was shaking I'm not even joking I felt like hitting her! I really could not believe she was actually saying that!

One, I didn't trick him into anything; don't get me wrong but he was the one who wanted to keep the baby in the first place, he persuaded me.
Two, I agree that it was a mistake in the sense that it was unplanned, but it was OUR mistake, and one that we're dealing with together. We're both adults, we knew the consequences. It's not like we're children just decideding 'oh yeh, lets have a baby!'
Three, no we probably don't have any idea of what having a child is like because I've never had one. But I do have an 18 month old sister so i do have some clue and it's not like I havn't thought a hell of a lot about this.
URGGGH!!! I'm so angry!! What on earth would posses her to say something like that?? Seriously! The whole time I was just thinking that this is her grandchild this woman was talking about, and she was telling me to kill or give away!

I really couldn't say anything to her, I just didn't even trust myself to speak. I just told her I thought she should leave and wouldn't look at her. Then as they were leaving Mark gave me a hug and just said 'I'm really sorry'. Then I just cried and cried
James has been asleep so I havn't had a chance to speak to him about it but I'm really in two minds as to whether to tell him or not. On one hand I know he has a right to know but on the other hand I know it would really upset him and stress him out and that is absolutely the last thing he needs while he's so fragile. But I don't think I can cope with this on my own
Sorry this is a proper long essay, thanks to anyone who read it.
It was just so horrible.

xxx

cupcake

sorry that she said those things to you, ure a strong girl you know in your heart that u want your baby so nothing anyone says will change that, maybe shell come around

elles28

I am so sorry that she was nasty to you ignore her....what happens is between you & James & nobody else...Keep strong hun

fifi83

Aww love dont really no what to say but here is a

You dont need her, she wants to bloody think before she speaks.

What a horrible thing to say, nasty women.

You can do this, yer you might make mistake but who doesnt were human and not perfect.

Take care xxx

doctordeesmrs

wow that really annoyed me! I can only imagine how you are feeling. How dare she say that. I don't know how you managed to bite your tongue i wouldn't have been able to. Hopefully she comes around after all this is her grandchild and she has to realise her son is an adult!!! I think James has the right to know but also not sure if now is the right time to tell him. Hope things work out for you hun.

nikkybaby

I cannot believe she said something like that to you. I would've slapped her! You shouldn't have to deal with things like that. Seems your already dealing with enough. Don't listen to what she has to say. No matter how much she is against it now, when your LO comes, I'm sure her mind will change quite quickly. I hope things get better for you. Keep your chin up!

kookie

oh thats horrible stay strong and take care.

maddiwatts19

Vickie

What a horrible thing for her to say. Whether she likes it or not that child is part James and it is YOUR decision to keep the child, not hers. Whether she wants to be a part of the child's life is her own decision, she can not tell you to give the baby away or have an abortion, that's not her place. Hope you can get it all worked out.

Ash xxx

Oh my God, what a biatch, sorry. I'm really sorry that she said that to you, she really had no right to suggest abortion or adoption, its really not her place. I understand her looking out for her son but the best thing she could've done if she just had to stick her oar in would've been to say that you are young and that it will be hard, advising you rather than a lecture. You and James have chosen to have this baby, it is your choice, not anyone elses. I say you should leave it till he gets out of hospital to tell him what his mum has said so that he can stick up for himself and his decision. All the best hun xxxx