Hello all, I just need to rant and rave for a moment, hope you all don't mind. I'm so fed up with my husband right now. He is so lazy, he doesn't do anything around the house. We have a pretty big house and I am constantly picking things up or cleaning something. I keep telling him that I need help and it would be nice if he actually shared the resposibilities with me. Over the summer, he paid his brother to mow the grass (and we didn't have money to waste). I always pay the bills, clean house, do the dishes, the laundry, get us both up for work, keep track of all important dates of things scheduled. He maybe will do the dishes if I really complain about doing them. If something needs fixed around the house, sometimes he will fix it, if he don't know how, he will just leave it and then it will get worse. He wanted a boxer for his b-day one year so I got him one. He liked him when he was a puppy, but now, he hates our dog and the dog became mine (which I don't mind cause I love animals). Then after that he wanted a baby (which I pregnant with our 1st one), I'm scared that he expects me to do everything and that he will slack on his responsibilities as a parent. We have fought so much about him being lazy, he even admitted to me that he is lazy and a big procrastinator. There is only so much fighting we can do and still nothing changes. I even tried to let things go in the house to see if he would pick up on it, but this man can live in filth. I'm a neat freak and everything has be organized so we are total opposites, but before we were married, he used to help with chores, now I get nothing. He is a good man, he's honest and wouldn't do anything behind my back. Also, ever since I got pregnant, he won't make love to me. He said it's weird because I am pregnant and that our baby is in there (WTF??). Any advice would be much appreciated, I am open to anything right now. I want to make things work with him, but he needs to try.

Not sure about the lazy thing, needs to be sorted before baby arrives. Know its difficult when you feel you are doing everything, draining when I hear myself 'nagging' oh to pick up after himself. Some men do feel strange having sex with pregnant partner. My hubby not keen when there is an obvious 'bump'

my OH was like this, so i left him and moved back home, since then he has got a job, stopped drinking and stopped smoking cannabis, i didnt ming him having it until i got pregnant and felt bad asking him to stop as he'd smoked it since he was like 11! but i just wasnt having that around my baby. hes brilliant now, we still have r odd rows and he throws it in my face that i left him because of stupid things but at the end of the day it worked and if u mean enuf to sum1 they should be willing to make changes x

My OH was always lazy, i blame his mother who did everything for him, and i picked up where she left off, BIG mistake.

However, little by little i have started to get him into the routine of doing things without him even knowing, like ironing his own clothes, doing the dishwasher, cooking. I make deals alot of the time! e.g. you do the dishwasher tonight and i will do tomorrow, if you cook i'll do the diswasher etc etc a little babyish i know! but its working and he has seen how knackered i have been getting washing the4 floors etc so has even said he will take over doing that from now on.

My DH can be a little frustrating too when it comes to cleaning...although he is marvelous most of the time, he just has a bad habit of leaving laundry ALL over the house. Anyway, like Jules, DH and I sometimes split up the duties. Like after dinner one person will load the dishwasher while the other wipes down all the counters. When I am doing laundry, i ask him to sweep the floors. I pick up all the rubbish around the house then he takes the garbage outside to the can. Slowly it starts to become a routine.

I have a lazy husband. It pisses me off to no end. I have tryed nagging and that does not work. So what I have started doing, is Fixing it myself. It works cause I act like Im strugeling and he takes over. Then it gets fixed. Try that!

I like your idea Suz. I think that is what he does to me, he probably purposely does things wrong or the way I don't like them just so he will get out of doing it. I'll try that out. I'm just frustrated to no end, he always tell me that his job is harder than mine and that he worked all day and he is tired. Well, guess what, I'm pregnant, work all day just like him and still come home to do chores, now what, lol!!!! He drives a truck all day and I sit behind a desk all day, but I actually use my brain, I'm sure most of his day is slacking off or drive time. Sorry, I just had to rant about that too..

Rant away hun Hope things work out! Just give him a good kick in the ass, Make him fix his own dinner and do his own laundry for a few days...He'll get the point

Guys don't see things like we do. You have to ask/tell them to do chores.... And then praise the hell out of them. My husband never helped much so I tried nagging about it. It got much worse. Then, one day he told me that when he did do something if I gave him positive feedback he would be willing to do more. So I tried it and it worked! We also got into a routine. After dinner, we try and clean up as much as we can during commercials...so it is kindof like a game. Sounds cheesy, but it's fun. You also get more quality time to talk about your day. I wouldn't get into the "who works harder" match, but instead just talk to him. Maybe ask him to do everything you do in an evening just once and he would understand. Remember...praise him when he does something good!!! GOOD LUCK!

Thank you all for the positive feedback, I really do appreciate it. It's nice to know that others struggle with this like me. I should try the praising thing out, but I feel that he is an adult and doesn't need to be praised. I don't get praised for everything that I do, instead he just trashes what I do by not picking up after himself. He's 27 years old and knows better, I can only take so much of it. I know me and him will fight when I get home cause he called in sick today because he was tired (not sick) and he won't get paid for it either. He called me just a minute ago wondering what is wrong with me. I guarantee when i get home tonight, there will be mess somewhere and he won't even bother to clean one bit. I plan on telling him (once again for the millionth time) that he needs to change. Thank you all again for letting me rant, it was much needed.