i wanted my OH on the birth certificate of the baby from when we register, we r going to register her with my surname and then maybe if we r together in a few years change it to his.

this was decided when we had a split when i was like 5 months gone and we only got back together when i was like 7 months so it hasnt really been braught up until now. he is currently not working and is on the dole (claiming from the jobcentre) last night he really dun my head in because he said to me that i could put him on the birth certificate and then just tell the dole that weve got an arrangement for maitenance and it wouldnt make a difference because the money comes back round to us anyway if they were taking it out of his money.

the truth of the matter is we r still a little bit rocky, dont know wether its me because im pregnant but we have r off days and i dont really trust him to be responsible and give me money a week so i told him last night that i would put him on the birth certificate but i would not tell the social that we had an arrangement and just let them give me what i am entitled to and he helps me with wot he can while hes looking for a proper job (he does odd jobs every week or so for £100-£200) and he just said "do what you want".

it annoys me though because he gets in a mood then and acts as if ive braught it up to cause an arguement when really i just know that the birth is getting closer and closer and its something we need to discuss. im quite mature for my age and he is sooo immature for his.

sorry for going onnn ladies but my head is all over the place.

main question i wanted to ask is if i dont put him on the birth certificate does it even make a difference to what money you get if he is on the birth certificate and they take it off him. it happened to my dad him and his girl have got a 1 year old and they dont claim together they claim as though there seperated but my dad is on her birth certificate and the CSA have started to take X amount off him a week and pay it to his girlfriend, at first they thought it didnt matter because it was just coming back to them anyway until she got a letter off the social saying that they are lowering her benefits by whatever my dad has to pay her so they lost out on however much he has to give her a week.

id rather have my OH on the birth certificate but i dont trust him to pay his way like say if we had a big row he would probably conveniently not get paid or something and i work and earn enough for me and the baby to love comfortably but i think why should he get away with paying his fair share, which will be alot less than what im paying out if they think he doesnt work. and i know he will give me money out of his odd jobs but there not gonna last forever! at the min i get no benefits coz i work but wen the babies here i think im entitled to WTC CTC and child benefit

if uve got down this far... sorry for going on... an thanx 4 listening lol

xxx

Hey I wouldn't tell the social that you have an arrangement unless you're absolutely sure about it. If they're dealing with it then you have a bit more security. I'm not sure what difference it makes with putting him on the birth certificate or not though, sorry. I'd also like to know really. xx

Hi there,

No it doesnt make any differance if he is on the birth certificate or not, My childs dad isnt on his and i still get maintenace.

I think you should put him on tho, i no i wish i had i put it down to me been young at the time why i didnt put it on, but i do wish i had now for my childs benefit.

Also i would do everything by the book, when it comes to claiming.

All the best x

Its up to you if you put him on the birth certificate honey but I'd do everything by the book when it comes to the benefits as you don't want to get yourself into trouble

he needs to realise being on his daughters birth cerfit is more important him think ur robbimg im of his dole money hed needs topay for his babay too go by the book

To be honest I read that breifly over because one thing came to mind ...

Is the only question of him on the birth cert. about money? I personally think its important for the CHILD that Dad is not refused this by you - Its very sad the Mum has to agree Dad can be on it in first place (a thought I had whist sat in the register office).

Surname wise ... Just change it if you guys are together in x many years? Well to me IMO (sorry to offend anyone) but if Dad is about and wants to know his child then baby should be in Dads name. (Unless very serious reasons)

1) Your still together in 6 years time and get wed - baby doesnt have EITHER of your names without changing it which when changed is never your ORIGANAL
2) your not together anymore you move on marry someone else have other children ... child #1 has your old name (kind of a lonely thought) your other children have 'Dads name' like you. Poor kid!

> Ok change name to married name if number 2 happens. Why? Thats not her Dad thats just your married name.

I was really upset when I first seen my birth cert btw for 2 reasons;
1) My Dad wasn't on it
2) The name on it has no meaning to me at all
I just felt 'odd' - 'something' missing!

Sorry just my opinion!

PS: Me & my OH are not married I felt 'odd' baby would not be in my name. I changed my name by deed poll. That option was easy for me due to family and how I was raised though!

i want him on the birth certificate its just the whole surename thing that i cant decide on. x