Hello

Thought I needed to let off steam as I am sure my parents are fed up with me already and I have only been here 1 week!

I moved out last week after my OH decided that our relationship was not working. He has probably been more attentive in the past week than in the last month.

However, he is blowing hot and cold. This is messing with my head.

I am 8 weeks pregnant with my first (his 4th) and he is not happy about this either.

He is basically telling me although he really loves and misses me and time apart has made him realise that we are meant to be together as one, he is not sure how long it will take for us to be together again. Everything is on his terms.

We have been together for over 8 years now.

He split up with me around 18 months into the relationship and went back to his ex. He went too and fro between the both of us and eventually came back to me (I believe if she lived in this country he would have been with her, have always felt 2nd best).

We also work together which does not help.

I am not sure what to do. He rings me when I have told him not to. I dont mind texts or emails but his desires change daily.

My mum says move on and forget him and my dad thinks he should have no input into the pregnancy.

I need some sound advice from anyone who has been through this.

I have read in some forums of others who have been through a split and got back together.

I am scared that with waiting, my feelings will turn into hatred for him.

This isn't about HIM now and for him to say that you were meant for each other but doens't know how long it will take is BOLLOX thats pure messing with your head emotions. Theres a lot of guys out there who have women 'exactly' where they want them and this sounds like one of those situations reading into the small version of it all Been at the other end of this in the past without a pregnancy and the 'ex' was involved too *back and forth* I was just dumb so was she! Best thing I did was get out of it!

Now 7-8 years on should my partner return to one of his exs he'lll NEVER get back into my life ... would be bye bye

Not good! Is tehre a way you could get to work 'away' from him depending what you do? Away as in a distance put between you if you talk to the manager?

This isn't about others - its about YOU! Don't base yoru decision on stuff you have found on the internet its not always the full or the final details!

You will if you let him control you and sucker it all in then 5 years down the line realise you've wasted your life on a man who say 'just dont know how long it is before we can be together' < that tune is almost certain to be played again once he has you craving him once! Any human including the male species knows that your in a vunerable situation now!

Only thing I can say from all this now is you have to be strong. Your decision may be hard at first but if its one that is hard yet right for you it will get easier fairly quick and a friendship may come of it all with the babies father so he can have an active roll with bubs when he/she arrives.

Mums know best they say!

Im sorry youve had to go through that honey, he sounds like he's been a right tosser to you. The last thing you need now is all of that stress. You need to look after yourself.

Personally I would say get rid, no more contact, but it's obviously not that black and white. Ive never been in an 8 year relationship, but my previous relationship was 4 yrs and it was really really hard to walk away from.

Whatever you do, dont let him think he has power over you. You call the shots. Dont take 'I dont know when we can be together' because its not fair to leave you sitting waiting whilst he's getting up to god knows what and getting away with it. You tell HIM you'll decide when or if you want him in your babys life.

I dont really know what else to say, didnt want to read and run. I hope you find what you need to do

xxx

this is about u and ur baby hunni not him he is the knob that could not make up his mine whether he wants u or not no -one deserved to be treated like no even u hunni u need to play this clamley no stress is need for u and ur baby i would not answer his calls and if he txt i would return by saying i need time to think what to do please leave me be and make him sweat and feel like u have for the last 8wks whether hes coming or going its not fair for him to mess wit ur head hunni u need to forcus on u hunni it must be hard being with someone for 8yrs to here that from him and this going to sound harsh and i apologise if he did not want anymore kids he should of wore his socks in bed and its not ur fault thats its 4th baby but on the other hand he could be shitting himself because its not just going to be u and him anymore he is going to have to grown up and have respiabilites u need time for u hunni stuff what he wants and wheter its on his terms not anymore its on ur terms be strong and dont get too stress i no easy to say hard to do good luck we arre all here for u to rant away (((((hugs))))

Thanks girls. You have all said the same as my parents. It is very hard but the distance apart has helped me a bit. I am trying to keep occupied and am even turning off my mobile (he wont phone at my parents house). I know I have more stressy times ahead when we are back at work. I am not looking forward to telling people at work but it is part of the process I guess. I have to go back to the house next week and pick up more stuff which I am dreading. Mum has offered to come with me but I think it is best that she doesnt as I know I will be blubbing (I have left behind 3 little pets - miss them so).

xxxxx

aawww hnni why does work need to knw ur private olife and i would defo take someone with u when u go the house as if hes there he may want u to stay just to be on the safe side