Ok need help.....................
I moved all the way from Washington to Ireland so that my husband could train for his job which was really really hard for me as my family is so close we moved 8 months ago and I still havent got used to it and the only thing that was keeping me going was knowing that he only had to train for 2 years then we could go home!!!
Raven is well adjusted with her friends from her 5 gymboree classes a week and her 2 days in the creche but I want her to know my family and I dont think she will have as good a relationship as I want her 2 have with them if we are living in Ireland.
And well heres what I'm so annoyed about my DH (not so dear at the moment!) just informed me that he signed up for another 2 and a half years training in Ireland when he finishes his initial 2 years!!! Even though he promised me that it would only be 2 years. And I am so angry that he didnt discuss it with me. He didnt think of how this would affect Rae by that time she will be 6, I want Rae in school in Washington not in Ireland and I honestly don't think im prepared to stay in Ireland for that long. I love my husband to pieces but he can do the training in the US he would just have to wait a year for a place to come up, and I think he's being selfish.
So I told him I wasnt happy and I couldn't believe he made such an important decision without asking me and he replied with "I'm doing this for us and if you loved me you'd be able to see that"
Am I over reacting??? Can't sleep because im so annoyed and worried!!!
Any advice would be appreciated!!! xoxoxoxoxoxox

i dont think your over reacting no, the promise was 2 years in ireland to benefit him, you moved from your family, uprooted your princess and moved your life to foreign country! if he cant see everything you are doing for him BECAUSE you love him, then he needs his eyes testing, you are quite right, he shouldnt have made this without discussing it with you first, if he can do it back home then that should be an option. Maybe try explainvging to him exactly how you feel and yu want Rae back home in washington for school, maybe he'll come round :S

good luck, let us know how you go on x

I don't blame you for being upset. He should have discussed it with you before making a commitment like that. Are you working in Ireland? If he is the sole supporter of the family, then I can see where he is coming from. You agreed to move under the pretenses of coming home in 2 years...period. That is what you thought was going to happen. He should understand why his decision makes you so upset based on that. In the mean time try and enjoy things as best you can. Living in Ireland sounds like a very interesting experience. I know you want your daughter to know your family. Perhaps if he wants to stay, then he can deal with you and your daughter flying to Washington more frequently. Since you are so home-sick, why not leave for a few months to come home...that way he can stay there and you can see the family. ? I dunno, just suggestions. Hope you both figure it out soon

Ouff!! I'd be VERY pissed off and to use that line is totally below the belt (bit of emotiona black mail in there) I can't imagine how you are feeling right now but can guess! He should have discussed it with you.

Can't offer advice as it would be unfair but I think if it was me I would have to do some strong thinking that could end in hard decisions!

Best of luck x

is it at all possible for him to complete his 2 years training in Ireland, then move back to the US to complete further training? Since the training is available in the US as well (as you have said). Definitely discuss things with him, i'm sure it's not his "final decision" at this point.

good luck!

I would be very upset as well. He should have discussed it with you first. Did he say why he went ahead and signed without talking to you about it? Definitely talk to him and see what other options are available. I don't think it's fair that he alone decides something like that because you're a family and you should have input too. You want what's best just as much as he does but because you have different opinions doesn't mean that you're wrong.

Talk to him about it again hun, when you both have time to discuss itin detail.

I think the fact he didn't even discuss it with you first would give you good reason for flipping out. I would have done the same. I'd have to sit down and figure out a compromise.

Thanks everyone for your replies,
Just to reply to avistar yes I work in Ireland have a full time job as well and I have a job with my uncle back in Washington which will be there for me whenever I decide to come home.
Well we talked about it for a good long while today and I have decided that after the two years I am going back to Washington without him and he will stay on to do his 2nd set of training. I don't know if I can be without him but I have to do whats best for Rae and especially in the area we are living in at the moment is not the type of area I want to raise 2 children in. He said there is an option in work that he can do year 1 of his 2nd set of training here and then transfer home to finish it. So im praying that is what can happen!!!
When me Rae and bump do move home the company will also pay for Malakai to come home 3 times a year(christmas, Easter and one of your choice) and then he can pay for another few tickets himself so hopefully it wont be that bad!!! Dreading the thought of leaving him but Iknow its for the best thanks for the advice xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Sorry to hear you are in such an awkward situation I cant really offer you any advice but think you are making the right decision....where abouts are you in Ireland? Elle xx

Def should have discussed such an important decision with you, maybe let the dust settle a bit and try talking it through if you're anything like me you'll just be so mad at the moment and won't get anywhere if you bring it up now x