blueberry

Basically I need to tell someone all of this because it's really stressing me out quite a lot, and I know that's not good for the baby..

I found out that I was pregnant quite late (around 6 months.. I'd had no symptoms or anything, and had been using the pill for about 2 years). I told the guy I was seeing at the time, but I haven't been seeing him for a while so he was pretty shocked. He accepted it and we've been getting on well, but now his parents want a paternity test done. I don't completely know why, but I'm really against it.. he said that he isn't the one who wants it done, but just his parents. (Also, the reasons at the end of this.)

The guy I was seeing after this guy (who I'll call guy B) had told me he was infertile after going to the doctor for checks numerous times so I immediately ruled him out as the father. Also, when I questionned him on the date we had started seeing each other, he said it was a month or so after the baby was conceived. Now, after 8 months, he's turned up again and is claiming to be the father - saying that the doctor has sent him a letter informing him that the samples got mixed up and that he isn't actually infertile. I know he must be lying because I doubt the samples would be mixed up at all, nvm numerous times. He is very family orientated and always used to talk about being a family, etc, so I'm thinking this is just a way of getting that (he was fairly obsessive).

Now I'm thinking that if I do a paternity test and it turns out it isn't the 1st guy's, it has to be guy B's. If this is the case, then I'm going to lose the friendship, etc of the first guy as well as that of my family who all think it is his.. and I'll also have to face up to the fact that guy B has persistantly lied to me.. and will then have to raise his child knowing all this. I don't think I'd be able to cope.

Anyway.. I feel a bit crazy right now and I just needed to say all that but I doubt I've worded it right so some probably doesn't make sense.

hypnorm

Samples can and do get mixed up, which doesnt help your situation.
I think you owe it to your child to find out who is the father.

Firsttimer

Yes me too I think it is only right to get the test done to see who the father is ..... otherwise guy a could bring this baby up and it is not even his.

Samantha675

I read this last night and had a think about it.

This is a really tough situation, and my heart goes out to you. I think you owe it to yourself, your child and the father to find out who the father is. If it is guy #1, great. If it is guy #2, then you can move forward, admit that you made a mistake. It will hurt, but you are human, and we ALL make mistakes. In reading your post, it would not be a mistake that you made maliciously. And I can understand guy #2's deep desire to be the father, if he truly thought he could not have children.

I wish you luck, and hope things work out for the best.

Mango

I find it odd that if the samples got mixed up the doctor would send GuyB a letter and not also send YOU a letter. More than likely the doctor would have spoken with both of you.

Either way I thin it is best you get a paternity test done to settle all of the confusion and put your mind at ease getting rid of any doubt.

Do what you have to do and remain optimistic.

hypnorm

Confidentiality agreement means that they wouldnt even give me my husbands blood test results. So i doubt that they would send a letter giving out his details too.